Any Have Witness Spouses who Freaked Out When You Missed Meetings ?

by flipper 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  digderidoo

  Mine too was a psychobitchfromhell. Truth is i'd started to miss the meetings just to get a bit of peace. If she was going to a meeting it was great to have the place to myself, bottle of wine and a video.

  There were many occasions when she'd be screaming, slamming doors all because i would not want to go the meeting. It was more of an embarassment to her that she had to give an excuse as to why i wasn't there. Her favourite scream was, " I married a Jehovah's Wintess, now look at you! ". All of these fits would be with a "You bastard! You fucking bastard!", if only the witnesses knew her foul mouth.

  It would turn physical at times too, eventually when i told her i was leaving she tried to headbutt a large pane of glass in the front window. How she didn't smash it i don't know, it was only a single pane and it was bending as she butted it.

  Anyhow all that was 11 years ago this month and i still get a horrible feeling come over when i think about it, i'm feeling it now. But, life moves on. She still has her issues, we still have our moments but she has mellowed. She's also left herself over the last 2 or 3 years and somehow that's been put down as my fault.

  I have three wonderful kids that have come from this. My two lads i took snorkelling tonight and spent a summers evening with them by a local lake with friends. I now look at moments like this and think well it wasn't all bad.

  Paul
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  flipper

  DIGDERIDOO- Wow ! You did have an " aggressive " JW wife ! So yours took a liking to bashing glass as well, eh ? She must have had a " hard " head if the glass didn't break ! LOL! But, of course that was part of the problem . I too felt a relief when my ex would go to meetings without me- felt like I could exhale - for once. It is truly amazing to me how many self righteous JW mates would treat you in your own home- then put on a sweet, pretty smile for the brothers and sisters at the kingdom hall ! That part- nauseated me about my ex wife the witness. Sounds like you have attained some good peace in your life now though ! Good for you, I wish you well ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  NewYork44M

  When ever she brought up the "spiritual head" thing it was usually a cop out that she did not want to do something.

  My response always was, "what is it about what you are asking me to do requires a penis?"
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  flipper

  NEW YORK 44M- I think you make a very valid point ! I remember my witness ex-wife doing the same thing to me. She would act like I was the most unspiritual guy on the planet and put me down just to not have sex with me. Even though I was not planning it anyway- she would make a big fight- just in case so we would never go there ! Very strange. NEW YORK- Your ex-wife and mine must have been twins separated at birth
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  Summer wine

  I feel a bit guilty, cos I use to give my husband a bad time. He missed quite a few through his job and I got sick and tired of being questioned at the meetings about why he wasnt there again.

  I do remember one period when I didnt want to go to meetings and he said he was going to the elders !!!! He says he doesnt remember.
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  flipper

  SUMMER WINE- I really understand your situation you describe. Don't be too hard on yourself for having given your husband a hard time about meeting attendance. What you described was part of the problem looking at it from the " big " picture. That is- People harassing you, questioning you constantly wondering where your husband was - just THAT can make a person crazy and crack under the nosy scrutiny of brothers and sisters who really needed to get a life. Not be nosy and want to know all about why our mates didn't attend regularly. Some might have had good motives for asking- but others just wanted to spread the latest gossip about who was missing meetings ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  CoonDawg

  Okay...just to be clear, I coined the name "psychobitchfromhell" (tm) for my ex. She generally used the "other" methods for trying to "keep me in line". Yes, I too was of the drinking on the way home every night...leaving the empty 24oz. cans lying in the bed of my pickup - just DARING her to say a f*cking thing about them... I got to where I'd leave earlier in the morning and stay later in the evenings at work (even before the hour drive each way) just so I would have to deal with her less and less. As to being denied sex, well, I married her when I was 20, and had the drives that were age appropirate for a repressed young dub man. According to her, because I wanted it more than once a week, I was "obsessed" and a "sex fiend". It got so bad, that I knew the exact month, week, day and hour of my daughter's conception because it was literally months between times I got laid. Jeez, it was bad. I remember laying in bed next to her, rubbing one out, thinking "I thought I got married so I didn't have to do this anymore." I always took her shit and never said a word. Then one time, I got upset at her and kicked a laundry basket across the house. I told her "hell yes, i'm upset. you're going to see (insert naughty married elder's name who'd formed an inappropriate relationship w/ my wife) and you say you want me to be the head of our house. So, here's me saying I forbid you to go if you want to maintain our marriage." I also added..."You think this is me angry. You have no idea what me angry looks like. I've always kept my temper in check because I love you, so just don't keep pushing me." Of course, she went and saw him. That was the beginning of the end. I mostly stopped meetings after that. Elders kept urging me to keep going, but all of them knew why I wouldn't go. The rest is history. She's still a psycho, only now she has a different playtoy. I wonder how marriage # 3 will last?
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  orangefatcat

  It amazes me the numbers of physco bitches that exist. Speaking for myself, I was not a physco bitch I let my ex husband do what he wanted to do, just as long as he didn't hound me.

  If I missed meetings as soon as he come home he would practically tell me everything that was on the programs. He drove me to insanity. Literally being married to him I had several breakdowns.

  My parents were the same way. They fought constantly with each other before a meeting and of course who always got to brunt of the anger was us k ids. I must admitt it that going to the KH was no pleasure as my parents had us all upset, mostly moms doing. Dad was more a fanatic for going in service. If we didn't get up for the service he would pour cold water over our head. that is abuse . Oh i really hated being a witness, but tried to do the best I could.

  If that is the way true christains are to act then the heck with them. Grandma an anglican like me now was a saint she never yelled or screamedd at me to get ready for church.. she was kind and loving and helped me in everyway to be a joyful loving chirstian . I wonder what happened to my parents. There was no joy in going to any meetings or service. The same with the ex husband.

  Orangefatcat
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  flipper

  COONDAWG- Wow! My man. You had a hell of a lot of abuse to deal with. Especially emotional abuse it sounds like - from inattention to not getting any sex or love ! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My first ex-wife , a witness was like that. She had been molested when young and started having flashbacks 17 years into the marriage. It totally destroyed any sex life we had. She did not accept counseling either, which didn't help. I hope you have found some peace in your life my friend since your marriage. Take care.
  
  ORANGEFATCAT- I'm sorry you went through that abuse being raised in the witnesses while young. Nobody deserves that treatment. At least you had a grandmother who loved you and was decent to you, and showed you a good example . I think lots of us had JW mates that drove us insane ! But the truth of the matter was : it was the JW mates who were really the insane ones ! LOL! Take care Orange ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper