update...husband made appt. with the elders, what do you think of this?.... (page 2)

sosad

for years after my fade, all my jw family tried to get me to do was utter the words that I was not a jw - or better yet to write a letter. I just kept saying that i considered myself an inactive jw over and over and over and over and over and over

Shepherd Book

New light, If it helps, you can use this letter: http://www.watchtowerletters.com/our_letter_elders.html (just modify it to suit your circumstances). My wife and I had not been to a meeting in over a year, and the elders still contacted us and requested a meeting. Like your husband, I did not want to say no, for fear that they would 'punish' me anyways. So I said I'd think about it, and then I sent them this letter.

New light for you

Thank you so much for all the great suggestions.. I"m still a little torn,.. though i'd REALLY prefer to tell them what i really think and get it over with and start my new life... after all... i'm planning my daughters first birthday party ever... (she's 8) in July...

I did want to comment to Candlelight... How they pinned you on that question.. i was talking to a pioneer "friend"- i now use the term losely- and she actually said to me" do you no longer consider yourself one of jehovah's witnesses??" i was crying at the time, obviously upset, confused , scared, and then TO BACK ME IN THAT CORNER???!??!?!?!? WHAT THE HELL?/ I told her.. at the time "i'm NOT ready to make a statement like that!!!'

CandleLight

Light

They never did pin us on the question actually, we refused to say it. Then they had my Mom call me and ask it, to see if I would say "the words". So be careful how you word things. They obviously felt they had enough without our "confession" to DA us. I have to say, I feel as you do.. I felt like a thorn too, OUT WITH IT!!!

I celebrated my daughters birthday for the first time this year too, her 10th. :-)

pm me if ya wanna talk.. maybe our story can help with yours

CL

BreakingAway

It seems like the only thing dubs like better than getting someone in "the troof" is pushing them out...and then blaming them for it.Seriously, they love trying to get someone to "incriminate" themselves, that's why they ask something like : "Do you still consider yourself one of Jehovah's Witness ?" As soon as you say NO, they'll run off to the elders to turn your ass in !

OnTheWayOut

Here's the thing. I'm a little torn. My girlfriend wrote me a letter finally saying if i just fade ,
she'll stay my friend. She's insistant that if we just [not] go to meetings "no one will chase
you down". She's so nieve, and mistaken.

True in many cases that they would leave faders alone. Sorry you are meeting them
in your own home, but great that your husband just wants to be left alone.

Just suffer through it gor his sake. He will tire of the facade.

cognac

Feel free to yell at him (robert7)

ROTFLMAO - You sound like me, lol. Can't believe nobody commented on just how hysterical this sentence is, lol

PS. Call me if you want to talk

PPS. The whole pissed of at this whole thing calms down after awhile. I wouldn't make any decisions until you arn't so mad about it... Just my 2 cents...

Awakened at Gilead

My instincts are such... right now... i want to go to the meeting and immediately say.. " i do NOT believe in the society or the faithful and discreet slave. i do not beieve this is the true religion. I am willing to walk away- i have no interst in bringing anyone down, and if i'm out of site, they will have no desire to contact me. How come i think you will find it necessary to throw me out?
THAT is all i want to say. I can then say "i hear the kids calling me" or somehting... and let them answer husband. I CANT LIE. Husband said that he could say "I believe in the faithful and discreet slave, but we're discouraged". .. what CRAP!! If I"m MAD cuz they SO lied to me, how dare i return with a lie? i'm better than them!!!!!
ANyway, I'm sure to go to hell if i were to say that... right? what would be my consequences? any elders out there?

This is exactly what I did and I was announced DA'd 6 weeks later - similar to CL's experience. I didn't say "I no longer want to be a JW", but I did say I don't believe in the FDS 1914, etc....

Or you could tell them you spoke with a bonafide apostate like me on the phone and enjoyed it. That's grounds for DF right there...

I'm not sure what Robert7 's plans are. But you will not miss anything or any "friends" by leaving. You have each other. Go ahead.. DA.. get it over with, and start living the real life. There are 6 Billion + [eople on the earth. If 6 million don't talk to you, no biggie... it's their loss.

Even if you fade and still talk to your friends, the friendship will never be the same.

Friend: "The DC was awesome... I love the new light and the new books!"
NL4U: "Uh yeah great. Wanna come to my daughter's B-day party?"

I rest my case.

A@G

Alexia

Snakes - you NAILED the god cop/bad cop tag teams. That brings back memories. Wow.

oompa

newlight....I think you need an apostacousin visiting that day! his name is oompa! i so enjoyed yaking with you and your husband the other day....but dang your aposta husband is leaving for his beach cottage for the weekend and it is only about 2 hrs from raleigh!!!! Great beach for kids btw......anyway

but you said: My instincts are such... right now... i want to go to the meeting and immediately say.. "

first of all that is a funny instinct...the want to go to a meenting....haha....but if you must you have to learn to never say ANYTHING...and not at he elder visit either....keep it , Im soooo confused with all the changes....door to heaven open agian....1914 being pushed further and further away....and now cant even find a dictionary were the generations makes any sense at all.....just confused and dont really know what to believe anymore................you can ride a VERY long time on that ....and great news to ALREADY have a friend say she will stay your friend....I have a handful of those too......good luck...and will see you guys at beach soon........oompa

update...husband made appt. with the elders, what do you think of this?....

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