Have u found friendships w/ worldy people be hard?

by blkblk13 31 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Thechickennest

  I'll haveno problem securing friends but Im concerned about being to keep them.

  Friendships be it with JW's or non JW's take a little bit of work to keep them on track. As was mentioned by someone on this thread, you have to stop sizing people up so to speak. JW's have an agenda....often times they pigion hole people into catagories, acceptable, unacceptable, etc. That has to stop. You just have to go with your gut instincts and excise reasonable judgement. The holidays and birthdays and all of that stuff will fall into place in time. Just be careful to not judge your new friends to harshly by using the x-ray vision of the JW microscope. Get involved in a service organization such as Lion's International or something like that. Make some new common ground to serve as a platform to building freindships in your new life. Forget about all the JW teachings, most of them serve nothing more than to suck the life out of you.
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  Carmel

  What do you bring to the relationship? Any true friendship is capable of a give and take that is tolerant and open to new paradigms. If you place limits on what you will or will not do (most of us do) then the people you meet and might build a fiendship with will be defined thereby. Ruling out friends that celebrate holidays will pretty much limit you to JWs and their ilk. The whole issue of not celebrating holidays had nothing to do with scripture, more about keeping the r&f focused on being different and not allowing anything to slow down the sales effort. Remember, your mind is much like an animal trap, It only works when it is open! carmel
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  gimley

  I have had no problems about making friends with the worldy's. I find it strange that so called friends dropped me like a lead balloon when i left the JW's, expect one true mate who i am sure has been getting a hard time for talking to me or even going out for a drink god forbid.

  I am considering returning because i do believe that there is something i just dont know what, and i do feel out of all faiths they are the most genuine. They dont have everything right but as we are all imperfect who does?
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  Priest73

  Oh Boy.
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  dinah

  They dont have everything right but as we are all imperfect who does?

  Can you tell me anything they DO have right? They always use that "nobody's perfect" excuse. If I ruin someone's life with lies, does that mean I can just say "Oopsie" and it's all okay??
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  yknot

  Yes and No.

  Right now I am better at the 'acquaintances' thing but maybe within a year I can improve.

  Transitioning is hard when being an Arian in an Athanasiusist world. Easter and Xmas can become just an issue as JWs have issues with participation of those obsevances. Live and let live is easier said then done.

  I am kewl with the birthday thing as long as it is modest......
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  Mrs. Fiorini

  You should never have to change who you really are to fit in. A true friend will accept you whether you celebrate holidays or not. I found that when I left the Watchtower I rejected most of their views, but kept some. Once you get away from the Watchtower propaganda you can decide for yourself what makes sense to you. And your friends will be interested in what you think and the things that make you unique.
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  Mrs. Fiorini

  You should never have to change who you really are to fit in. A true friend will accept you whether you celebrate holidays or not. I found that when I left the Watchtower I rejected most of their views, but kept some. Once you get away from the Watchtower propaganda you can decide for yourself what makes sense to you. And your friends will be interested in what you think and the things that make you unique. I have also found that I am less trustful of friends since leaving, and have had a harder time making them because of it. The conditional relationships in the Watchtower organization and the rejection faced from them when you no longer believe the way they do takes its toll. It has taken me some time to get to the point of having friends that I believe will love me unconditionally.
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  sass_my_frass

  A tip: drop the lingo. They're not 'worldly people', they're 'people'. They're the normal people.

  It takes time and effort to make new friends, don't kid yourself. Old friends are friends because of all the times you've shared together. You have to spend similar amounts of time with new people before they give you the same feeling of friendship. Don't skimp.

  I'd say that holidays aren't close to the most important thing in a relationship but suggest that it's going to depend who the other person is. A relationship is partly about balancing what you have in common against what you don't. If it's the holidays thing that makes you unacceptable, well that's just the way it goes.
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  ex-nj-jw

  I have had no problems about making friends with the worldy's

  This bugs the living sh*t out of me! Sheesh, people are people already get over the JW lingo, please! Sound like everyone except jdubs are aliens from a different planet.

  nj