I'm still not sure if what you're writing is authentically your own experience or if you're trying to get a point across by pretending to be the one who struggles with these issues so that we can provide good replies to them for whoever is lurking.
However, I'm going to reply as if you are the one struggling:
They have been through a lot in their lives (I won't go into details) and they feel Jehovah has helped them through it.
Since you have so many books, you must have read Crisis of Conscience, in which you'll see Raymond Franz and his wife (and others) endured quite a lot as well for "the truth". Jehovah didn't bless them in the end.
I told him I have not been on the ministry much for quite a while, but he is not put off by that.
It makes you the prodigal son he can help back into the fold. So, for now, they won't be put off by it.
But it is hard for me having been exposed to so much apostate propaganda to go along and believe what the Witnesses teach again.
This is most likely just a slip up, but I don't think you've been exposed to apostate propaganda, and I don't think you think so either. It's the JW in you talking without you realizing it.
Plus one thing I really hate about Witnesses coming over is that they tend to scrutinize my books. We have about 8000 books in our small flat and it is impractical to hide them all. The best I can do is hide the obviously apostate ones and hope none of the others offend too much.
This gets to me. They are books. Why should we live in a world where we are afraid of what books we have in our library?? What books we're allowed to read? Having to hide books from our best friends? If you've read something that doesn't agree with the 'truth', the 'truth' should easily be able to counter any argument found in any book. And where does it end? Probably at 'only literature provided by and condoned by the WBTS'. Quite a bonfire you've got there.
But the weird thing is he never said anything to me about it. He just acted like it was no big deal and continued to be very friendly for the next two hours or so
Prodigal son again.
They acted a bit funny about having been to university saying "this is not something we tell all the brothers here because some brothers frown on it you know".
-Do I even need to comment?
I wish I could join him in the ministry and start the meetings regular again, but it would require a real change in mental attitude. Plus my health does not always allow me to do all the things I want to anyway.
Mental attitude? Mental deep clean and rinse, more like it. Out with the old, in with the new. Out with the old books, in with the bound WT volumes. Plus your health would give you a bad conscience, just like anything that hinders 100% full time service will.
And then maybe for the brother finding that book has marked me out as a spiritual danger from day one.
Prodigal son. They'll cut you some slack for now.
If I did not know better I would think Jehovah directed the brother straight to that book so as to warn him about me that I am not a good Witness.
But you do know better.