Shunned again

by tak 46 Replies latest jw experiences

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  jgnat

  Tough love isn't that easy to do with your children, believe me! I think moms have too big of a heart....regardless of what the kids do....

  I'm big of heart but I've always parented with the end in mind. What is the point of raising a child if they stay in diapers the rest of their lives? They need us to cut the cord and teach them to to be adults. Believe me, I've made heart-wrenching decisions with my adult son; kicking him out of his childhood home, letting him live on the street while he denied the consequences of drug use, committing him to a mental institution when he was at his lowest. It hurt me to let him fall, to have him snarl in my face that I was the betrayer. But in the end, it was a bigger sacrifice to do the right thing.

  He calls me daily now to say he loves me. He says I'm the only one who has stuck by him through it all. My love, you see, is constant. I will even risk his anger, his rejection, to do the right thing by him.
• 

  iceguy

  Billy is right, Having the car in your name so he can have cheaper insurance is dishonest. Since your son wants to go by the book with WTS policy on shunning, then inform him that he should also go by the book on being honest in regards to his vehicle ownership and insurance.
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  changeling

  (((((((((tak))))))))))))

  changeling :(
• 

  BFD

  Tak, you're too nice. Sorrry you have to go though this. A 23 year old should not have to depend on his mother for insurance, JW or not! He needs to grow up. Insurance fraud is nasty business, you could lose a lot.

  BFD
• 

  burningbridges

  I would personally cut off the "favors" to your son who won't even give you a shred of decency. When you cut him off, print him off a copy of the 1952 11/15 Questions from readers out of the watchtower which says this :

  If children are of age and continue to associate with a disfellowshiped parent because of receiving material support from him or her, then they must consider how far their spiritual interests are being endangered by continuing under this unequal arrangement, and whether they can arrange to support themselves, living apart from the fallen-away parent. Their continuing to receive material support should not make them compromise so as to ignore the disfellowshiped state of the parent. If, because of acting according to the disfellowship order of the company of God’s people, they become threatened with a withdrawal of the parental support, then they must be willing to take such consequences.

  I think he needs to stop being such a hypocrit and only benefitting himself.

  burningbridges
• 

  Hortensia

  burningbridges, that quote is astonishing. It's OK to use your parents while turning your back on them, eh? What kind of kid is he that he will take support from his mother, while shunning her? A selfish little beast, that's what kind. Mom, you ought to consider this, too: if the insurance company finds out that he is the main driver and that you lied they will cancel the policy. If he has an accident and the insurance company finds out that he is the main driver, it might make it very hard if not impossible to get them to pay up. You could end up losing everything because you are soft with your kid. Just give him a deadline, and then cancel the insurance on the deadline. Also go to the DMV and record a change of ownership. I can't believe the self-righteous little turd would treat you that way. Don't you find it interesting that we are all getting angry because of this? When are you going to get angry? Why aren't you angry?
• 

  chellechelle

  i know exactly how you feel except for in my case it is my parents... stupid effing cult. only love your children if they love your religion....

  that is not right
• 

  Jringe01

  tak: By the sounds of it you've pretty much decided to follow the excellent advice given to you by the other posters. If indeed this is your choice then I congratulate you and wish you the strength of heart to see it thru.

  Personally though I wouldn''t wait for "several weeks". First thing Monday morning, July 7th 2008, go get this done. If you wait you risk developing reasons to keep waiting. Yes, it's a tough thing for you to do to your son and will take you to a place you' ve never been to before but the longer you wait, the better the odds that you won't do it

  Plus the sooner you do it the more of a shock it'll be. If you wait too long the arguement will be "Well why now; after all this time it doesn't make sense." and not only would he would be right, you'd run the risk of backing off under the emotional pressure.

  This is one of those "Take a deep breath, close your eyes and think of England" moments. When it's over though you'll be a stronger person for it.

  Good luck luv.
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  tak

  I contacted my insurance company this morning and let them know that my son will be driving my vehicle full time until August 15th at which time he will be buying it from me and getting his own insurance. I told them he does not live with me. They said that is fine as long as he has my permission.

  I will be calling my son in the next couple of days and letting him know that having the car in my name so he can have cheaper insurance is dishonest and that we are lieing and that is a sin and that he will have until August 15th to get his affairs in order. I will also print off the 1952 Watchtower questions from readers and give it to him highlighting

  If, because of acting according to the disfellowship order of the company of God’s people, they become threatened with a withdrawal of the parental support, then they must be willing to take such consequences.
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  justhuman

  I know how it is, and how hurtfull it is, I face this everyday, plus I was not allowed to attend to my daughters wedding...they are so pathetic people