Ask Happy Homemaker! (page 27)

bebu

Dear Happy Homemaker,

I have nice new tile in the bathroom. How can I keep the grout lines clean without removing the sealant? Will snails (as mentioned earlier) work for this application?

bebu

Thank you ever so for your inquiry. Keeping tile grout - a type of plaster - clean (cleanliness is next to godliness [heavens! is a non-believer interested in keeping his/her person and surroundings proper?]) is a challenge is today's workaday world!

Let me say right off the bat that weekly cleansings and bathings of ~~infected~~ affected areas of your countertop are preferable to once-a-year of the same where heavy-duty scouring could very well invite the man with the can of sealer. Don't let this happen! (I have no bias against you painter-types, so if you're reading this, don't get all twisted and mean over my putting you out of a job.)

Dual purpose activities: clean your grout, make and dress a salad and attend to personal hygiene in one fell swoop.

Materials to be gathered:

White/apple cider/wine vinegars

Extra-extra virgin olive oil

Lettuce/diverse other greens/croutons/bacobits/seasonings to taste/etc.

Regular toothpaste/toothbrush

Upon your beautifully newly-tiled countertop assemble your salad and dress with EEVOO and any of the above vinegars but the white. But since the white is there, open the bottle and incautiously let it spill upon the tiles and grout. Whoops! Mop up the "accidental" spillage and fully rinse with clear, unclouded water. Perrier is optional.

Eat salad. Upon completion of that, set upon the brushing of your set of teeth and, O gee, while you're at it, you happen to notice a spot here or there upon the grout that has not been rendered impeccably spanking white by the earlier flood of white vinegar per your righteously high standards and those of the FDA. Remove said brush from mouth, reapply a generous glob of toothpaste, and gently abrade spotted grout. Rinse. Repeat if need demands such. Dry with huge Turkish Towel. Finish up with your personal hygiene.

Let the results speak for themselves!

Hope this helps!

Happy Homemaker!

PS: Is your grout colored?

compound complex

Addendum to bebu's tile/grout:

No matter that this is the bathroom. Go ahead with the salad!

HH!

[edited to add: can you readily remove countertop and soak it in the bathtub? This would make your weekly ritual so very much, much less trouble-free!]

compound complex

The grout used to fill the voids between individual tiles often becomes dingy and stained. At a tile store, you can purchase a pH-neutral tile-cleaning solution. Unless your grout is white-white, do not use a cleanser that contains bleach because it could lighten your grout's color. Mix it according to label directions (wear rubber gloves). Permanently stained grout will have to be replaced.

www.hometips.com Home Tips: Cleaning Stained Tile Grout

bebu

Dear Happy Homemaker,

What an interesting idea, even though the tile is only in the shower and on the floor. Multitasking is a challenge to me, but for the sake of godliness/cleanliness, I might find it worthwhile to eat a salad while I shower. The shelves in the bathroom have space for vineagrette. The toothbrush and toothpaste are handily close by.

I shyly admit that while anticipating your reply, I bought some snails and set them loose in the stall. But I expect that with a little garlic I may also have suitable escargot for salad accompaniament. Look how you've inspired me!

Thanks for taking the time to answer my mundane question, when other unfortunate folks are dealing with more important issues (the ungracious beavers come to mind). I will even send extreme closeups of before and after tile shots, if you like, as a way of thanks.

bebu

compound complex

Dear and gracious bebu:

Happy Homemaker is pleased with this most deserved gratitude that you have dispensed copiously upon his column and person:

Thanks for taking the time to answer my mundane question, when other unfortunate folks are dealing with more important issues (the ungracious beavers come to mind). I will even send extreme closeups of before and after tile shots, if you like, as a way of thanks.

He looks forward to the realization of your extreme closeups of this tile and grout of no little renown. Please be assured that no question, query, observation or tidbit of helpful advice goes without his notice. His heart is warmed, his interest piqued.

We, the staff (the happiest people on earth), have taken this occasion to write you as Happy Homemaker is making preparations for a major housecleaning event that shall draw praise/awe/revenue from Earth's ends, not to mention numerous perks. So we won't mention them.

Happy Homemaker shall return in a fortnight less seven.

Staff

compound complex

bttt for bebu

compound complex

Dear Happy Homemaker,

I've been crawling about on all fours of late - outside in the mud. It's far too embarrassing to explain, so I'll just skip ahead to my question, which, naturally, is why I am here in the first place. But you knew that; well, did you or did you?

As I am always broke, as in being largely without coin or outta dough, I haven't the means to get my clothes drycleaned, professionally that is, though I have on a few occasions used gasoline and a very stiff brush to get soil out of my clothing. But with the high price of gas, well that's relative now that prices at the pump have dropped, so just forget that part. Anyway, I've just recently begun the tobacco habit - the kind that requires a light - so I've given up gas for laundering, which I'm sure you'd agree is a very good idea and you do have lots of good ideas as I've been reading your column since you started on the fourth of July, which I remember well because my nephew Chad had a flame thrower in his toy box and his folks needed it to barbeque a chicken and they asked your advice on barbequeing or something about wax removal, but I forget exactly.

So how do I get mud stains out of the knees - it's really, really ground in - of my Levis?

Hank

compound complex

Dear Mr. Clean Jeans (Hank),

I'm sorry if it's embarrassing, but I know your story. You're not really Hank.

To the point: stop crawling around on all fours, chasing after those tennis and golf balls that that silly Cara Mia pushes under the deck. She's certainly far smarter than you (give her credit for).

Forget the gasoline. It belongs in your tank. After removing excess mud from Levis, dampen the knees of your dungarees; then grind in some nice lye laundry soap and scrub with a brush. Finish the job by wrangling the jeans creekside and beating with rocks. Be sure you're not wearing them.

Rinse and repeat as far as your obsession with suitably clean jeans should take you.

Hope this helps!

Happy Homemaker!

compound complex

Washing clothes in the river

Ask Happy Homemaker!

Share this