by cognac 30 Replies latest jw friends
Thank-you everyone for your support...
I'm kinda mad at them also... I see how my parents excluded them but they didn't really try to be in our lives either. Since we didn't celebrate anything or go to see them much I didn't get to have much of a relationship with them. But, they didn't come to see us either. They didn't make much of an effort either..
I don't understand why everybody let this happen and I'm hurt.
Your relatives were just doing what they could to respect your parents wishes. They were doing there best to insulate themselves. Look at it from their point of view. Your parents were in this strange BORG and had all these new and kookie idea's. Every time they saw your parents they were forced to listen to this new kookie religion that from the way your parents explained it they wanted no part of. Now these relatives have a decision to make. DO they try and maintain normal famial relations with your parents and their new kookie religion, or do they respect their new found beliefs and keep there distance for the sake of their own sanity and protection?
The witness cult is one, where those on the outside, really dont want to know much about. As long as the reletives are not engaging in something that can cause them noticeable harm, most people will let others lead their lives as they se fit and want to. They see how it affects and changes those converted and choose to stay away. Can you blame them?
Lastly loved JK's comment:
It is impossible to change the past, so try not to live in it!
I know you feel that your reletives should have did more to reach out and have a normal relationship with you, but you must realize that they did what they thought you and your immediate family wanted and what was best to protect them and their feelings.
I wish I had some non JW relatives to turn to. Your lucky you have them. Just be happy you found them and try not to be too mad at them. Being a 4 the generation JW all of my family are still in. The only ones who are not are my fathers brother and my fathers mother. Neither one of them really wants anything to do with me now that I've left. My grandmother on my dads side didn't want to be a grandmother when I was a little kid so it's hard to relate to her now. My uncle is ok but there is no comunication between us except through my father. It sucks because we were never close to that side of the family because my grandmother hated JW's and hated my mother. As a product of my mother and fathers marraige I'm not really excepted by her. Not to mention I look just like my mother so I remind my grandmother of her.
Cognac, Just be glad you got your non-jw family back.
It's just the opposite in my case. I am not a witness, but I never lost my jw daughter and son-in-law, although, it always hurts when holidays come around and I don't see them. I look at it as "It's their loss". Well, it's really mine, too. I would love them to celebrate family get togethers with their non-jw family, but they don't see it as a "family day". So, I get to see them on other days, but it seems not as often, and they are the ones who chose to "miss out".
But, we can't change this part of it, we can only look to the future, as others on here have said. Don't dwell in the past, look to the future and enjoy the family you were not allowed to associate with in the past.
Let the past go, Cognac.
Big hug to you.
Hubert
I'm with Darth Frosty on this one... they (your non jw family)had to get the hell away from their crazy JW relatives, you know how JW family is.
Oh my God, that's so weird we all have the same experience with regards to non-Witness relatives that we have ignored and now, at least for me, I'm trying to be like hey, what's up and they probably think it's weird I want to hang out all of a sudden.
Being there, doing that, suffering the same pain.
My non-JW family members that I've gotten to know a little bit have turned out to be so smart, so accomplished. They are so cool! They told me how my mom hurt them by turning them in years ago and how they felt so betrayed by her.
I wasn't raised with them in my life so I kind of followed my mom in who of the family to be close to.
I'm torn up like you in how much I must have hurt them, but they are really forgiving and do understand.
I know it may be too soon, but is there an update on your hubby v. CO?
I don't mean to be a pest, but did I understand it right that your hubby was going to talk to the CO or was it the PO about the wrongful DA's? Has it happened yet and if so, what was the result? This is very exciting to see another potential poster on his metamorphosis out of the org. |
Cognac, this is the reality of being a Jehovah's Witness ... you live your life in a vaccum. Once you escape, you'll really see the damage the organization creates to friends and families. Try to repair the damage on your own.
