by brunnhilde 38 Replies latest social relationships
So I'm 37 and I've only been with one man, my ex-husband, in my entire life. I just started a new relationship with a wonderful man but I'm fighting the preprogramming that comes from being a dub for 35 years. How have other people overcome the inhibitions and issues that come from the ridiculously rigid sexual mindset of the WTBS? I don't want my emotional baggage to get in the way of being with a really terrific person - thoughts, ideas, suggestions?
brunn
Being sexually free means having choice - to say yes or to say no.
Take it slow, it will become clear...
Practice, practice, practice!
First time difficult. Then it gets easier and easier, funner and funner!
S4
I agree with Seeker4. The more you do it, the less you'll remember all those sexual myths that were taught by JW. If you have found a nice man and enjoy his company, then go for it.
I say: do him! All this "take it slow" stuff is overrated in my opinion. Sex can be an emotional event, but it certainly doesn't have to be. Have fun but protect yourself against STDs and pregnancy. You say he's terrific.. what's holding you back?
Oh and as for my JW baggage.. well.. I got over it real quick. I was a bit of a slut in my early 20s and it was WONDERFUL!
Is the JW brainwashing the only thing holding you back? If you really want to be with him, be with him. Sex is not a bad thing, and sex doesn't even have to be within a commited relationship, it can just be two people filling a need.
BB
Bang away..
I'm one of those that believes it should be a committed relationship. Basically meaning at least no one night stands... But that's MY BELIEF
I didn't enjoy sex while in the Borg, my ex and I were incompatible sexually. She also thought it was dirty, and really didn't like sex, until she found another guy, then I think that changed.
Since I've been out I haven't "went over board", but I have discovered how wonderful sex is with the RIGHT person. My fiancee and I love making love.
I suggest that you will know for yourself when the "time is right", there will be a light that kinda goes off in your head. Then just enjoy yourself.
Thanks, everyone, for your input. I've never felt like this with anyone. I had no idea sex could genuinely be fun and appealing, lol! I just hate how sick and panicky I feel everytime we're intimate at all, and I'm talking just kissing, let alone anything more advanced. He and I have talked about it and he's been very supportive and loving but I still can feel the anxiety.
brunn
Swing by Dr.John's and pick up some goodies for the fun.
