by brunnhilde 38 Replies latest social relationships
I just hate how sick and panicky I feel everytime we're intimate at all, and I'm talking just kissing, let alone anything more advanced.
Have you explored WHY you feel this way when you are with him? Did you have bad experiences with your ex? Is it the JW brainwashing in the back of your mind? Are you afraid the angels will strike you down? lol
Honestly, you just need to relax and enjoy things. don't worry about what he thinks, or what you think, there is no right or wrong here.
'sick and panicky I feel everytime we're intimate '
I think that is a result of all the fear of sex, fear of displeasing j hoover, and that kind of stuff that was drummed into us day in and day out. I found that just relaxing into it, just being in the moment got me through that.
S
I think it will just take a little time. Do you drink? Have a drink or 2 or 3. That should help you relax.
Sex is very natuaral and loving thing to enjoy. ,Life is way to short as it is, so if you both feel it is right , why not enjoy? It will also form part of your liberating yourself from the wts
Regards David
Dive in head first...........
Is that something like fisting that I read about on another post?
Seeker4,
funner and funner!
I miss read this as "funnier and funnier," which is also true.
brunnhilde,
How have other people overcome the inhibitions and issues that come from the ridiculously rigid sexual mindset of the WTBS?
Well, I had to do it the hard way: even before I left the Spoof, I saw the necessity to question everything I believed. Literally everything. Sexual exclusivity was one of the things that fell by the wayside.
brunnhildeagain:
I just hate how sick and panicky I feel everytime we're intimate at all, and I'm talking just kissing, let alone anything more advanced. He and I have talked about it and he's been very supportive and loving but I still can feel the anxiety.
I also, from time to time, felt it useful and refreshing to go out and "earn myself another disfellowshipping" -- without hurting anybody. That is, anything short of murder, fraud, rape, etc. maybe this idea will be of some use to you: "I am not sinning against the Creator of Love, Sex, and All Things Juicy; I am giving pleasure to a good man and putting distance between myself and a poisonous cult."
bluesbreaker59,
I'm one of those that believes it should be a committed relationship. ...no one night stands... But that's MY BELIEF
Basically, I agree: I've done both, and I prefer committed relationships -- because they are more nourishing and MORE FUN. One-night stands can indeed be disappointing -- not in the Victorian-drama sense -- just frustrating. It's up to the individual to decide whether it's better than enforced celibacy.
gently feral
I have to admit to trying things in a committed and non committed relationship and I prefer the latter....Sorry, the othe just leaves me feeling empty...But that´s me...I think you should do what makes you comfortable...If you are ready to take the plunge then, don´t pressure yourself or let anyone else pressure you into doing something you aren´t ready....It´s very hard not to get emotionally attached IMO when you have been taught that sex is something that is done within a marraige or something very serious...
I was a bit of a slut in my early 20s and it was WONDERFUL!
Me too! No regrets!
In this case do what you heart desires, not what your mind thinks. Go for it!
start 'reframing'
