Consequences of being a JW

Regretful_J

I've been thinking about what its like to be born and raised as a JW and the mistakes that parents make as an almost direct result of this cult. For one thing, the children are not allowed to think freely, and if they say or do one little thing their parents disapprove of, they are chastised and basically bullied into abandoning that thought or action.

Another thing is that no matter what you do, and no matter how good your reputation is among friends, teachers, administrators, etc if you don't want to go to meetings, and don't believe in this faith, they do what they can to make you feel lower then dirt for this and will often resort to verbal abuse, and sometimes violence to force you to believe in them and conform.

Some of what I say I speak from personal experience. Because the JW parents don't allow their kids to think for themselves and make their own decisions; their mental/emotional growth is stunted in a drastic way. As I reflect on my life and how I am up to this point, I carry with me a fear of displeasing people, and ive been told that i sometimes seem "apologetic for no reason at all" when i am giving a presentation or talking among aquaintences. One thing I can credit my parents with is they taught me to respect those in authority, however their actions caused me to have low self-esteem my entire life.

Its one of the reasons I hate the society is because they have turned my family into mindless zombies basically. They are unable to develop an original thought without reviewing a watchtower, awake or whatever to make sure its acceptable. They also make a point to make me feel less sure about myself so that I don't move out anytime soon, though its hard because i don't have a good job yet. Their reasons for keeping me around are financial and control issues.

They are such miserable people and I wish like hell i could get them to open their eyes but its no use....Just thought i'd vent a little lol, add your thoughts if you like.

agent zero

i hear ya i hear ya. a good venting session is nice once in a while

XxJazzxX

I'm 50% with you on this one Regregful_J. Reason being is because I've never been a Witness before, just live with them(In-Laws). But an example of your story is my wife.

When she was young, she wanted to be "curious" about the "world" around her. Her congregation warned her about what she was doing, but in the end, someone in her congregation told the Elders about what she was doing. She confessed, then got DFed because she cant preach the word while doing what she was doing(which was basically partying and befriending those outside the congregation,and a little fornicating).

Her parents never taught her about how the "world" works because they just see it bad and they look forward to Armageddon anyway. With this being said, this is what caused my wife to see the "world" as it was without knowing what to do(such as safe sex, money management, etc.). Now she thinks that no matter what she do or where she go, it always brought her back to the "Truth"

I really find it shameful that they look forward to Armageddon, especially the way the economy is shaping up today. It makes me work of their financial situations. Most of them complain about the economy, but dont wanna take no part in politics or voting. Or they just disregard them both by looking forward to Armageddon.

Hope4Others

They also make a point to make me feel less sure about myself so that I don't move out anytime soon, though its hard because i don't have a good job yet. Their reasons for keeping me around are financial and control issues.

Some parents treat there children like children, forgetting that they are now adults and can think for themselves. And the jw thinking of course contributes

to this mentality. Most jw's use emotional control and probably do not even realise it, manipulating a persons feelings; then of course due to this the guilt and fear

will come into play, this is a large leverage of control. Read as much as you can to help you gain control of your life again and move forward.

Cheers

hope4others

Devilsnok

One thing I have noticed a lot of in my ExJw friends is the general sense of low self esteem. To the outside world they all come across as very confident pleasant people but they have all said that this is just a front they put on to the world. I call it my field service face. The ability to be friendly and confident when talking to people, even if you feel like crap inside.

I've also found us lot to be lacking in emotional intelligence. We dont grow up knowing how to relate to people that aren't emotional and intellectual clones of ourselves. We don't engage in arguments, we do that field service thing and turn off. We have trouble with anger management because we've been taught not to get angry, not unless its righteous indignation.

Growing up in the org leaves us emotionally disfunctional.

milliemootoo

I agreed Devilsnok, I was never encouraged during my school years and college was never even an option. I did terrible in my exams and although I have never been out of work have never had a job I enjoyed and always felt I was not very intelligent. I really hate them for that!!!!! I am now at 32 thinking for the first time, what do I enjoy doing and kind of career would I like to do! It is not right......

insearchoftruth

Education is a big issue with my wife, she has never been baptized, but also never encouraged in her education, in fact I found out the other day that two of her younger siblings do not even have HS diplomas or GEDs, they were sent out of the country for thier education, which they never got and when they returned were older than the mandatory education age.

My wife has been working through her associates degree with intent on getting a bachelors degree and some advanced education beyond......but when the darn sisters get around her, I am sure that they will be a lot more subtle than the DC, but will let her know why a secular education is bad.....serve jehoovers kingdom....

Lady Zombie

Vent away. I was born and raised in this insipid cult and I still carry the damage with me.

Junction-Guy

The damage done to me is almost unfathomable, but I will eventually heal given the right circumstances.

K.Matthews

They can do damage but it's up to you to undo it. I had everything I ever knew taken away but it didn't take long before I realized that as soon as they "cut me loose" my life improved. It didn't take long to make a lot of new friends and to get involved in good healthy activities. So I won't see my so called friends in the truth ever again. One set of grandparents has told me they'll never speak to me again and my father has "moved on" so he can gain privileges at the hall. So I guess I can sit around feeling sad and bummed out but instead I'm excited about what the rest of today offers. It's going to be a great day and I can only imagine how great tomorrow is going to be. Yesterday? Who cares, it's gone.

Consequences of being a JW

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