This is what the elder said on the phone to my hubby. You are flushing your spirituality and what little spirituality your wife has down the toilet.
This elder was also the one who was a part of my judical committee. I made the mistake of confessing my guilt about getting a bit too close to my soon to be husband before we married. We ended up eloping and when the elders sat us down after we had gotten married (this was the judical committee meeting) they said after deciding not to disfellowship us that is was a good thing that we eloped cause they would not have been able to attend our wedding in good conscience.
Since then my husband and I have drifted away and are now inactive. The elder who made the comment to my husband and sat in on our judical committee many years later ended up divorced after his wife left him for beating her. The wife in question left the religion and the elder is still an elder. The opinion of the congregation is that his wife went "crazy" (my mother in laws words) and left her husband. The congration fully supports the husband and has turned their back on his former wife.