Never, Ever Believe A Thing They Tell You.

by Englishman 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    My son and daughter from my previous marriage have just been “kicked in the teeth” by witness teaching. They have never ever been JW’s, which makes it worse IMO.

    They have just been dumped by their JW grandfather, dumped by their Uncle, dumped by their Aunt.

    When my DF’d ex-wife lost her Mother a couple of years back, her JW sisters and brother decided to put a stop to my ex’s alienation. All is forgiven, you are still our sister, we can talk to family, honestly you can trust us, we will never ignore you again. Hug hug, kiss kiss, undeserved kindness rules.

    My son and daughter were very wary of all this new-found LURV , they recalled how distressed their mother was when she was DF’d in the 70’s during their childhood. Consequently they hardly knew their JW relatives until my ex’s mother, their grandmother, died in ’99 and they were all re-united at the funeral.

    As they visited and phoned ever more frequently, my son eventually got them all together and asked them if this was for keeps, were they going to turn their back on his Mum and hurt her again?

    No no no! She’s family, it’s fine, really it is, don’t worry, we can talk with family. We love you too! Lets all go on holiday together. Lets all visit the Xmas markets in Germany. Come and stay for a few days, it’s what families do. Yeah, right.

    2 days ago, my ex got the letter. Sorry, but you are DF’d, we can’t see you any more, turn back to Jehovah then we will talk to you, this is a loving provision, blah blah blah. So as a result, my son and daughter have now lost contact with:

    1 Grandfather.

    2 Aunts.

    2 Uncles.

    4 Cousins.

    Great religion, this Jehovah’s witness thing, isn’t it?

    Ack.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    They're scurvy bastards, the lot of them. Even when I WAS adub, I never shunned anyone. I still talked to all disfellowshipped people, and I told people who didn't like it to flip off. But, they thought I was incorrigible, and that my intentions were ok, so it was fine with them(also, the elders never found out methinks).

    I can't stand it. I know exactly what you're talking about englishman. My wife's father told her not to speak to the family again if she wasn't going to attend meetings. He told us to examine ourselves (self righteous bastard!), and that he was doing it for our own good-he was partially right.

    My wife hasn't been this guilt free in years, since she stopped talking to them. Tell your son and daughter you love them, then warn then away from all dubs...I'm sorry about it.

    ashi

    ashi

  • patio34
    patio34

    Sorry E-man that your family has to go thru this--again. Thanks for the warning. The Biblical phrase 'guard your hearts' takes on a new meaning when dealing with JWs, huh?

    Warmly,
    Pat

  • Duncan
    Duncan

    Mike

    This IS pretty despicable, I must say.

    But your son and daughter - never having been dubs - are presumably not included in the dictat. So they could, if they were so minded, still theocratically, legally "enjoy" the company of the grandparents, aunts etc.

    Maybe they should make the effort to do just that (if they have the stomach). Go on a charm offensive with them, just to shame the dubs back to their senses about your ex.

    This DFing thing is just a disgrace, isn't it?

    Duncan.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Oh, (((((E-man and kids)))))!!!

    I'm so sorry that they LIED to the kids and their mother!
    Why don't the KIDS (never JW's right?) go to the 'lost' relatives and ask why they would LIE to them like that. Doesn't Jehovah HATE lying?
    Doesn't the WTSociety's own website say that disfellowshipping doesn't break up families? What is the REAL reason for the about-face?
    Or are they too hurt to care?
    Sadly shaking her head at the insanity of it all,

    outnfree

    When the truth is found to be lies
    and all the joy within you dies ...
    -- Darby Slick, Somebody to Love

  • HadEnuf
    HadEnuf

    Well...so much for letting your yes mean yes and your no mean no.

    I'm so sorry Englishman. Our family is currently going through this same "sifting" of true friends. We just keep checking people off our list who refuse or are hesitant to associate with us. It is really hard after over 4 decades as jw's.

    What a load of crap!

  • joelbear
    joelbear

    Maybe disfellowshipping is god's way of getting truly good people out of the clutches of manipulative witness friends and relatives.

    Joel

  • Englishman
    Englishman
    Maybe disfellowshipping is god's way of getting truly good people out of the clutches of manipulative witness friends and relatives.

    Wow, Joel. Brilliant!

    Englishman.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    E'Man,

    Thinking on the sudden change of attitude, did this happen recently?

    The reason I ask is that a very recent 'Questions From Readers', softened the DF issue slightly, in that now a person, who seems to be making some sort of effort to lead a good life can be prayed for! Can you believe such audacity, instructing individuals who they can and cannot pray for.

    It was rather ambigously worded but was definately setting up road signs for a future softening of the whole DF issue.

    Coupled with a recent study article regarding the Prodigal Son and welcoming back 'sinners', especially family 'sinners', it may be that your family jumped the gun a little and were reigned back by their elders.

    Does this sound feasible? -- HS

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    HS,

    My ex received the letter last Saturday, after almost 2 years of being reasonably accepted.

    Englishman

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

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