Friend Says: "It's hard to find a mate after 30 as a witness"

4mylove

This is the friend I've talked about before. We had a text message war today. You see, she turned 30 this years and her "area" is itching to be, well, you know. I think the ladies can all agree with me that hormones surge after 30. Well my poor friend is still a virgin, and is really really wishing she was married if you catch my drift.

I asked her, how bad would it be if you slipped and fell on one. She texted, I could not. Be a witness. She said technically she is inactive at the time but she is not going to be a hypocrite about it. She went into the whole schpeil about not being fake and that most couples dont' wait. She said that she knows what she's learned is the truth.

What surprised me was that she said it's just that past a certain aige as a witness it gets extremely hard to find a mate. She said it's super hard with both of you being witnesses to abstain, and she knows it would be super duper hard to date someone not a witnss. ( I've pleaded with her plenty of times not to do this for the other persons sake unless she is completely honest with them about EVERYTHING!)

She started in again on the good thing being that it is a very loving organization should u choose to make the commitment and come back u can always come back and be "weined" back in slowly...But while they are out there and not living right then they cannot be associated at all.

Yeah, very loving. My response was "sorry babe, just haven't seen the love. I will never see love in turning your back on a loved one. I've heard terrible stories in all religions. Don't think He would diversify us if he wanted that monotny. Also don't think its fair that not every one is in a position to get a knock on the door and don't think He would fry millions upon millions because they didn't know about witnesses.

I know she's having doubts, and was so tempted to ask her about Malawi vs Mexican incidents, or better yet about UN ties. Is it to early? I'm so worried about her. I love her so much. I wish I could just invite her here but don't want to lose her if it's too soon. She's been away from the congregation for about 6 months.

Sadly, the girl is quite a catch and would love for her to find someone special one day. Thanks to all for listeningm

4

sweetstuff

Tread slowly and carefully, as she deepens her confidence in your friendship, she'll open up more. Too much info too soon, will have her running the other direction. Take her out someplace where you know they will be some boyfriend material. Let her mind start to wander.

Frequent_Fader_Miles

Sadly, the girl is quite a catch and would love for her to find someone special one day.

It's such a shame that she isn't viewed as a "catch" in the congregation.

After I had faded, I ventured into the unknown of dating worldly men. It was only then I myself realized how much of a catch I was.

If your friend is longing for sex, companionship and a family of her own, exclusively in the witness context ... she should be prepared to wait for a very long time. It's slim pickings for sisters in the Borg, unless you want to end up with the dregs of humanity.

4mylove

FFM,

Why is it that it is so hard for them? Is it that they just want the young girls? 20-25? I get excited because she's hinted about going back to school for her bachelors. Major breakthrough.

LearningMore

I, too, have heard it is tough when you get "older." (Because, really, as a witness 19 year olds are marriage material.) I know of one woman who just got married at 40 something, and I can pretty much guarantee that she was a virgin. Nothing wrong with that, but I know not being in a relationship until 40 would not make me happy. I waited long enough as it was.

I know of another woman in her 40's who was married for several years, but now single. She, too, is interested in finding someone. One thing that makes it hard in the "truth" is, obviously, the no intimacy rule. So, people end up rushing into marriage. And, how do you really get to know someone with a chaperone there at all times. I just don't get it. Now, looking at it from the outside, I can't imagine entering into a relationship the way witnesses do.

yknot

There has been a 'man shortage' since before I was born! .....

Yea please encourage the schooling, and you might wanna relay that you heard the shortage of JW men is so bad that there are on average only 3 elders per KH now. Then sigh and say that is why so many are marrying outside of the truth.

iceguy

I'm available but I'm df'd. I would take care of her itch and she could take care of mine.

yknot

iceguy has a point....

There is a shortage of JW men......but an abundance of ExJW men.....

Frequent_Fader_Miles

Why is it that it is so hard for them? Is it that they just want the young girls? 20-25?

Well, just think about it. Baptismal candidates are getting younger, and younger, each year. Most of them are children of witnesses anyway. There are hardly any male converts as such, who may be in her age group.

That's the way it has been since I can remember ... more sisters than brothers.

sweetstuff

I remember being at a district convention years ago, in TO and I was about 20 and a member of the BB was there giving a talk and said flat out, face it sisters, alot of you won't be getting married in this system, there aren't enough brothers...LMAO. No word of a lie. Now you can imagine how thrilled the sisters were and how THRILLED the brothers were, even the geekiest nerd could find the pick of the litter. Cause he was male.

Friend Says: "It's hard to find a mate after 30 as a witness"

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