Friend Says: "It's hard to find a mate after 30 as a witness" (page 2)

John Doe

Sometimes the pick of the litter ain't saying much. ;-)

yknot

Is it that they just want the young girls? 20-25?

Nope.

Back when I was prime JW marrying age (18-21)..... the only 'good standing' single men had given their youths to Jehovah (except one who was a divorcee with 2 kids-his wife left him). They were all 12-20 years my senior. It was awkward. But all the gals their ages were already married. Most wanted children, and women their ages are either done with birthing kids or have already committed to forsaking until the 'new system'. Only two of my peers actually married from that pool. Both marriages sank within 3 years. The girls moved on with really hot wordly guys, the men are still not over it..... and that was over 10 years ago! They really didn't want us (we were too immature), and we really didn't want them (just too much older).

As for the guys my age (2 years younger to 5 years older)...... all had either left the JWs or been DFd and left the JWs.

I personally wasn't allowed to mingle at the DCs....... so I was limited to my territory, and the three surrounding counties. The arrangement of circulating prospective brides was handled by the Elders..so it wasn't exactly 'natural'. We would as a group 'visit' a KH for a weekend. Saturday FS getting to socialize with the prospective grooms in FS., & Sunday meeting followed by lunch hosted by 'friends'... Nobody was happy. The guys were like this is so lame, we were like ya, your not our type either....

JW dating sucks big time! Which is why I and all the other girls (save the two) married outside of the truth.

JW men of that age range, who haven't been married are social nightmares. They either spent youth in service and are socially stunted or were playing the field all along and you worry where they have been. The divorced men, can be bossy, at times short tempered, occassionally bitter. It is a tough tough group to sift, lots of pyrite, little gold.

IreallydidwalkoutofaKH

4mylove....I read this entire post and everyone pretty much somes it up. But your friend probably is suffering from being to smart and probably to attractive for her own good! Did you ever think that the dumb ones in the hall tried to put you down, and the unattractive ones belittled you. I wonder if that has happened to your friend and she really believes what is said about her. Dating really is about finding a friendly and safe person and building from there. You really should positively reinforce to her that she is a catch. Have you ever asked her , how she thinks of herself? That may tell you alot!!!!!!!!!!

LDH

Agree with Reallydid.

Also if you are not married, use reverse psychology and ask her to "chaperone" you on a date....only bring a third wheel to keep her company if you know what I mean.

4mylove

Iceguy,

I'll let her know there is someone ready and able..

sweetstuff

John Doe: Just think, if this had been in the "litter," I might still be a jw.

*rolling eyes* I knew alot of women when I was in, just as beautiful/hot as that chick and they were married to supernerds. LOL

4mylove

sweetstuff,

I'm sure you had absolutely nooooooooooooo problem dating, you are gorgeous!!

daniel-p

The key to all this is education. THat's the only thing that closes the gap (albiet not always completely) on the disadvantages women face, inside and outside the borg. Of course, this is a comment about overall policy, so it may be out of place here.

sweetstuff

sweetstuff,
I'm sure you had absolutely nooooooooooooo problem dating, you are gorgeous!!

LOL, well thank you, but I was rather geeky for most of my teens, I didn't "blossom" until my early twenties. So, no I didn't have brothers falling over themselves to date me.Matter of fact, most of them thought they were the $hit. I only really dated one guy while I was at that age and I dumped him, somehow I knew I wasn't ready to be committed to marriage at that point. (Ran for the hills!)

But here is the catch with growing up a witness and dating, if you aren't in the same social circle, its almost impossible to meet someone, let alone develop a relationship with them. A witness girl would never go up to a cute guy at an assembly and start chatting, she'd be viewed as "not spiritual". Your friend is in a hard spot, trust me. Build her confidence and show her there is a whole world of men who would be more than happy to to solve her problem.

4mylove

Sweets,

She is a bit to liberal for them as it is. Other problem is that anytime she's let someone in, "wordly" or not they've hurt her. Really hurt her. She cracks me up because she is definately not attracted to "brothers". She likes the rocker, long hair, free spirit, and that just doesn't seem to exist in her world. She always get put in the friend zone!! It's driving her crazy.

It scares the $hit out of me that when she hears any negativity from me about witnesses, she goes into that drone talk. Loving organization, repentant, worldly, are all words I've learned to despise.

I just wish there was a way to lead her on a path of actual truth.

Friend Says: "It's hard to find a mate after 30 as a witness"

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