OK, here you go:
Dear M---,
Well, let the Etiquette Grrls begin by saying we've Put Our Foot Down about Baseball Caps. Unless you are, in fact, playing Baseball, you shouldn't be wearing one. And you especially shouldn't be wearing one at work, at the University Club, etc. And you should never wear a baseball cap backward--whatever is the point of that? To keep the sun on your face but off your neck? Obviously, if you are a Hat Person (and the Etiquette Grrls believe people are either Hat People or Non-Hat People), and you have pretty, flattering, perhaps vintage hats, you may wear them upon occasion. If you wear a hat to the theater, etc., you should take it off as soon as you are seated. While you, Dear Reader, may think your hat is Quite Small, it may still be blocking the view of the Poor Person Sitting Behind You. At other events, make sure your hat suits the occasion and season. At A Garden Party, you may, if you are a Hat Person, wear your favorite summery chapeau--but no fur, no heavy felt, etc. And steer clear of Stocking Caps, Visors, those silly-looking "boating hats" which, apparently, are part of a Required Uniform for those who shop at Abercrombie & Fitch, and Fezzes. We're not sure any hat would look appropriate in the Workplace, but perhaps, if you work somewhere very Artsy and Off-Beat, you might be able to Carry Off a nice vintage hat.
Men remove all hats indoors. The moment they step indoors.
Sincerely,
The Etiquette Grrls
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....