Tell Us Dumb Things You've Heard Elders & Bethelites Say

by minimus 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus
    minimus

    There are a lot of dumb Organization men. GB Losch seems to be the top dog for dumbness.

    In the local Halls I've seen and heard many dumb elders open their mouths.

    One elder had a fondness for Bible prophecy and Watchtower chronology. He always speculated on what the "Watchtower REALLY means" about a statement in print. He had every one of his followers believing 1975 was The End. He'd ridicule everyone for not accepting his comments-----even AFTER 1975! He was and still is dumb.

    What dumb statements do you remember being espoused?

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    "There will be a BRIEF elder's meeting following today's Watchtower study."

  • minimus
    minimus

    2 hours later......

  • minimus
    minimus

    Good one, Blondie!

    In my first Hall, we shared with the Spanish Congregation. One of our elders would regularly deride the Spanish brothers for having souped up cars, no owned homes and fancy clothes----yet they paid less rent than the English speaking congregations. So he would try to humiliate them either through private conversations or even from the platform. He literally made a couple of the Spanish elders cry because of his meanness. He finally decided to get out of the inner city congregations and wreak havoc in a smaller town. Not long after disfellowshipping LITERALLY half the Hall, he himself was deleted, left his wife and took off with another woman with 3 kids. Funny thing is he had no kids of his own and HATED children.

  • minimus
    minimus

    An elder who was sent by the Society to help a congregation stated that "french kissing" is "loose conduct" and if one engaged in it, even if they were married, it could lead to a judicial meeting.

  • Tired of the Hypocrisy
    Tired of the Hypocrisy

    One night an elder was closing with prayer one night and told Jehovah to have a good night. Then on Sunday afternoon he prayed again and forgot to mention Jesus at all.

    One CO told my folks back in 1970 that my little sissy would never even start school before armageddon would hit. She is now 41 has two grown kids who started and finished school and now has a grandson who will start school in a couple of years. Who wants to bet HE finishes school too?

    I am of Spanish, French, Dutch, and Native American birth. My last name is a Spanish last name and I do look more spanish or Indian than anything else. Once we had a circuit assembly where they were serving tacos. When I showed up for a kitchen assignment, the elder there said it would be best to have the tacos make the tacos. My brother and I didn't say anything, but when he left the room, we turned off the stove and left.....No tacos for lunch that day! How stupid was he?

    Once this kid gave a number two in the school. His reading was atrocious and he had no sense for gathering the information into a thesis or closing statement. It's ok, he was only 11 years old. What was dumb was the school conductor said he did great...After they WOKE HIM UP! A few weeks later the kid was at bat again and this time he made no improvement. The elder stayed awake and told him that he was sending him home to his father who should teach him to read.

    Once there was a special needs talk in Albuquerque where the issue was married couples giving each other oral pleasure. The elder (Who forgot to mention Jesus in prayer before) ranted about how oral sex is for homosexuals and that it had no business in a JWs bed. He said homosexual and heterosexual about 30 times each during the talk. Finally he encouraged eveyone to thank Jah for the wonders of homosexual sex and how it brings praise to Him with new children to praise Him! LOL

  • minimus
    minimus

    I'm sure all the homosexuals at the meeting were gleeful.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    I'll never forget a Sunday talk given by a Circuit overseer. It was all about the brothers suffering in some African Nation. They were being beaten and starved.....(Malawi)?....I can't remember who.

    This moron announced that after days of no food for themselves or children, their biggest concern was getting the latest spiritual food from Brooklyn and that would be more beneficial than actual food.

    I was absolutely aghast at age 13/14. I sat there fuming. The entire audience giving audible MMmms and ahhs. I confronted my parents and they said, well he meant it figuratively.

    Can you scream BS?

    r.

  • Meeting Junkie No More
    Meeting Junkie No More

    I kid you not, I've had elders tell me that they can 'smell' Armageddon coming. This just recently.

    Another one told me he could practically give it to me in writing. Practically?

  • bonnzo
    bonnzo

    "the worldwide preaching work is said to be mankinds greatest accomplishment"...that is just plain funny. it was said from the platform, too, and everybody just nodded(except me)

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