Tell Us Dumb Things You've Heard Elders & Bethelites Say (page 4)

Open mind

"If you move to California, you'll fall out of the Truth."

Oh wait. He was right!

om

AnnOMaly

Elder commenting from the audience about 'appointed men' - "The holy spirit rarely, if ever, makes mistakes."

Another elder from the stage (1994): "Armageddon is so close, it's almost a question of don't bother booking your summer vacation this year."

Yet another elder conducting the book study (also in 1994): "We'll be studying the Revelation Climax book for the third and last time starting next week. It will be the last - Armageddon will be here before we finish it."

minimus

2 local elders almost got into a fistfight in the rear of the Hall. They were yelling at each other, threatening one another. besides being dumb, it was fun.

LisaRose

At a talk on music, a brother ranted on about the evils of the song "Mac the Knife". This song was from the 60's, and this was in the 90's. It was one of the stupidist things I had ever heard at a talk. So, if you listen to that song, you will become a hired killer???

jam

ONLY GOD CAN READ OUR HEARTS. SO IF THE END COMES AND WE ARE SPORTING A MUSTACHE WE MAY BE MISTAKEN FOR A WORLDLY PERSON. SPOKEN BY A CIRCUIT OVERSEER. IT,S FUNNY AT THAT TIME IT SOUNDED LOGICAL...had we lost our sense of reasoning when we were in that org..

DoomVoyager

I can remember the hounder-hounder talking about how a missionary was not feeling well (perhaps from not getting enough sleep the night before?). He was out in field circus, without enough food (likely because of being out in field circus all the time instead of earning money), and the last call threw a cabbage at him. That was supposed to be Jehovah's way of feeding him.

Holy crap, I am at work and I started laughing way more loudly than would be appropriate here. Good thing my boss is in a meeting. :D

NewYork44M

He was out in field circus, without enough food (likely because of being out in field circus all the time instead of earning money), and the last call threw a cabbage at him. That was supposed to be Jehovah's way of feeding him.

I heard this story many times. I just wonder if their is any truth to this. In any event, I thought the society takes care of their missionaries. Is their stipend so small that they are on the verge of starvation?

Lance, when you were a missionary, did you rely on food thrown at you to supplement your diet? And, if food was thrown at you, did the society deduct the value of the food from your monthly stipend?

lovelylil

The dumbest thing I ever heard at a convention was this;

That reading the WT and Awakes over time would give you the equivalent of a University Education! Yeah if you went to the University of Bull****!

The dumbest thing from a CO to our congregation;

The only acceptable reason to ever miss a meeting is for a funeral. But it has to be your own.

dumbest thing said out in service by an elder to a householder;

I never met a born again Christian who was not demon possessed!

Peace, Lilly

Mandette

I was asked by an elder why a single sister would want to buy a house BY HERSELF! I retorted that I why would I want to be married just to have a house!!! Oh yeah I wasn't supposed to work in public safety either because it wasn't "encouraging". BAH!

Mandette

lovelylil

btw: forgot to mention. It turns out that the householder's wife was a "born again" Christian. Can't believe I forgot the punchline.

Stupidest thing said to me by a CO's wife;

You can tell by the way your daughter dresses that she is 1/2 puerto rican? Oh, how so I asked? "well you know" she said "by all the reds and yellows in the dresses she wears". (apparently these are puerto rican colors?)

I respond; "well sister so and so, as you know my daughter is only 10 so I am actually the one who picks out her dresses. And by the way, I am 100% Italian!

whooosh..........right over her head it went. Lilly

Tell Us Dumb Things You've Heard Elders & Bethelites Say

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