My Elder Brother's Flip-Flopping Sucking Up to Appease My Elderly Parents

by flipper 19 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  flipper

  O.K. Where do I start ? A brief summation here. As some of you know my ex-Bethel elder brother told my sister a witness who was a victim of a stroke that in August she needed to move 8 hours away to her witness daughter who could care for her better . The reason he guilted my sister into moving that he told her was - " My wife and I want to start pioneering in September and we have a lot of responsibilities in the congregation and with our business. " This made my sister feel like a burden , however she is doing better living closer to her daughter who is caring more for her hands on.

  So I was talking with my 81 year old witness mom on the phone ( who I get along with great ! ), and she told me my brother and his wife told her and my elderly witness dad that , " We are going to regular pioneer now , but we want you to know that you guys are a priority if you get sick or need help, we will take care of you . " Interesting that my brother would be so willing to help my parents, but not his sister. What gives here ? Well, my mom did inherit years ago my grandfather's oil company stocks and should we say a comfortably sizeable inheritance. I wonder if that has anything to do with his caring attitude ?

  I realize my brother is extremely " cult mind controlled" and the poster On The Way Out helped me to appreciate this on the phone - however it still sticks in my craw that my brother can be so two-faced in treating my sister with disdain , but appease my parents for possible benefits. Do any of you have witness relatives like this ? Or am I alone ? Your thoughts are certainly invited on this scenario
• 

  dawg

  My moms sister used to go around marking the furniture of my wealthy Grandparents... long before they died.
  
  Yea, I'd say its possible that bro has his eyes on the prize...
• 

  flipper

  DAWG- Your mom's sister used to mark your grandparent's furniture before they died ? Wow ! That's being just a little premature don't ya think ? Jesus. Yeah, I agree I think brother has his sights set on the benefits as well
• 

  passwordprotected

  There's a study article coming in a few weeks all about caring for elderly parents. Doesn't mention sisters. As someone above says, they're legalistic.
• 

  flipper

  WASANELDERONCE- I hear what you are saying. And I agree he is just stating what he knows to be right. It is very legalistic. That's why he pressured my sister to move closer to her adult daughter so her daughter would care for her. I understand that. But what I don't understand is his insincerity of using pioneering as an excuse not to help my sister out and make her feel as if she would be a burden so he couldn't pursue pioneering , then turns around and tells my parents, " Oh! We are pioneering, but you won't be a burden. You are a priority. " To me it just reeks of insincerity and hypocrisy. Just my take.

  COGNIZANT DISSENDENT- I agree with you. I think the money comes into play here as well.

  PASSWORD PROTECTED- I agree the witnesses are legalistic to the letter. I would be interested to see what those study articles have to say about caring for elderly parents.

  Perhaps some may feel I'm being a bit judgemental or harsh in assessing my brother here. But a precedent was set in this insincere flip-flopping 2 years ago when my brother ( incorrectly ) thought my then fiance and I lived together 1 month before we got married. He sent me a nasty letter indicating I was not welcome in his home unless I went back to meetings and returned to Jehovah. But 1 year later at my mom's back surgery he and his wife came up to me and Mrs. Flipper in the waiting room at the hospital hugging us , and telling us he was so happy to see us ! ? I found out later that my witness mother had told my brother , If you don't treat Flipper and his wife nicely, I will kick your a$$ ! " My mom told us she told him this. So that's why I feel he is just putting on a show here. Thought I'd give a little background. Thanks for your replies
• 

  mustang

  My sister aced my brother and me out of our inheritance. It wasn't much, but now she's got so much guilt she won't face us. My brother and I have faded or slowed down to zip and she stayed active and married a sorta connected eLDER wannabe.

  Fortunately, my brother and I are both comfortable, money-wise; my sister needed the money, so I almost don't begrudge it. As far as the money is concerned, I really don't care.

  But the level of wedge-driving the ##%^&*$ church does is pathetic. That miserable substitute for real love is what bothers me.

  [PS: this was hard to cough up, like a furball the size of a grapefruit.]

  Mustang
• 

  milliemootoo

  I agree with Mustang, for me the sadist thing is how shallow peoples love is. Both my Mum and Dad had not been to the meetings for quite a while, they still believed but could not cope with people's attitude to my Dad depression. When my Mum died recently people were falling over themselves with "Christian Love" but were no where to be seen when real support was needed, even my Nana does the bare minium when she calls Dad he said he feels she is just ticking a box. That when I realised how false the "Christian Love" is people are just following another command in my opinion, just ticking the box :-(
• 

  Tired of the Hypocrisy

  It's hard to tell which way it could go. I hope he is taking care of your folks as is a son's duty and privelege with no eye on some tenuous prize which could be rendered nearly worthless in this market. But if it is for the money it would serve him right if the stock went into the terlet.....
• 

  Witness 007

  Not nice and once again the "kingdom" goes ahead of any Family love or responsibility.
• 

  QuestioningEverything

  My in-law's are in their late 70's. My FIL made some very wise investments and has done well for himself financially. My SIL lives about 5 blocks away from them. My husband and their brother both live about 1 hour away. While my inlaws were out of town at an assembly, my SIL changed the locks on their house to 'protect' them from getting broken into. She is the only one with a key other than the parents. Who do you think will be over there first if anything happens? She is so greedy she makes me sick. She took in two foster kids just so she would not have to work and could get some government assistance for them. My FIL told my hubby that her requests for financial assistance was bleeding him dry. But .... because she is regular at the meetings and field service, she is in good standing with them.