Pro's and Con's of DAing myself. (page 4)

gymbob

Disconnect brings up a good point.

Sometimes a person doesn't have a choice about how one leaves, fades, DA's or whatever. I had elders breathing down my back wanting to know what I believed. Eventually they really wanted to DF me because I honestly told them how I felt. I quite frankly didn't have, and didn't want to have, something to hide. A secret that only I knew. That is, I really couldn't, in all honesty, support Jehovah's Witnesses any longer.

If they want to DF me for that, shame on them, and I told them so. I broke none of their silly rules or anything even close to that. I was a ex-pioneer, ex-bethelite, with a position in good standing. It's just that the organization turned into something it wasn't when I got baptized, namely, a group I could leave if I chose to with no consequences. A religion composed mostly of people who honestly thought the world was going to end in or around 1975.

Well, that was over 30 freakin' years ago!

I didn't sign up for the BS the society represents now, I told them that. I didn't want to leave on their terms, but on my own. I wasn't going to let them DF me and let people wonder (gossip about) if I was a secret smoker caught in the act again, or cheated on my wife, or loved little boys, or WHATEVER...so I quit.

It's alot like a job. You can just stop going to work and let your boss think you don't want to work there anymore. Or, you can buck-up and say... I quit! Gymbob

scotsman

The elders in my congregation "respected" people who DAed themselves and thought that those that faded were weak. So if the opinion of JWs matters to you, go ahead. They're opinion didn't matter to me, I respected myself.

bluesbreaker59

I DA'd , and it was one of the greatest things I've ever done in my life.

OnTheWayOut

My opinion only: DA'ing gives a sense of closure. I would love to do it because of that.
I don't do it because of my JW mom. I actually think it would be good for my wife to see
the changed treatment that the JW's give her. Still, there's Mom.

To substitute for the closure, I had an un-dedication ceremony where I burned some WT
literature and renounced my baptism. I declared that they withheld information from me,
so the baptism was invalid. Since I was deceived and not completely informed of flipflops
and failed prophecies, I was not bound to tell them complete information or even truthful
information.

That sounds silly, but that ceremony gives me my closure. That, and recognizing that they
have absolutely no authority over me. I don't have to answer to them nor write any letter nor
recognize any decisions they might make about me.

I would refrain from writing the letter if they only call once in a great while or never, just for
a parent's sake. I couldn't ever go back to get reinstated if a DA hurt that relationship.
But others would say differently. They are not wrong. Each person just weighs their
priorities differently. I wish you luck with the decision.

undercover

To substitute for the closure, I had an un-dedication ceremony where I burned some WT literature and renounced my baptism.

My un-dedication ceremony consisted of my going out with the guys(non-JW of course) to a strip club, dropping some bills, making "friends" with a hot stripper after hours(it was a short-lived relationship) and getting drunk as shit. It was kinda like "my coming out" party.

lonelysheep

Where does your integrity reside? With you or with them?

DoomVoyager

I'd always just assumed that I would DA when I finished college, but after reading this I'm reconsidering. Perhaps the best idea would be to just move out and tell any would-be hounders to go blow a goat. Thanks to everyone who's posted for their insights.

OnTheWayOut

My un-dedication ceremony consisted of my going out with the guys(non-JW of course) to a strip club, dropping some bills, making "friends" with a hot stripper after hours(it was a short-lived relationship) and getting drunk as shit. It was kinda like "my coming out" party.

I'm with ya, but for the facts that I am happily married and don't desire to go to a strip club
and hurt my wife's feelings, and I am an alcoholic who might not be able to stop at one
good night of drinking. Otherwise, that's a closure for many people.

undercover

It worked for me in that I had only ever been a JW, nothing else. I didn't feel the need to get hung up on the symbolism of baptism or dedication. Once I closed that door, I was done. At the time, that seemed like the best revenge...go out and do the things that I was never allowed.

Of course, being a little wiser now, I wouldn't go that exact route now, but I think it's good to do something that was taboo as a JW yet you secretly wanted to do but never did.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

LL,

Are you planning on celebrating Halloween or Christmas?

Pro's and Con's of DAing myself.

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