what you and your girl friend have done together is no one's business - so don't tell them anything. The elders, that is. If they ask you pointed questions about what you touched and what you thought, keep saying you haven't done anything wrong and that you can't believe they ask questions like that. Tell them they make you sick, you can't believe Christian men would talk like that! If they persist, say "my god, she's a nice girl. what kind of people are you, anyway?" In other words, deny deny deny. It's none of their business and it will make it easier for your parents to back down a bit, if you can convince them maybe they are over reacting. Unless you already told your father more than you should have, in which case, just go with the flow. Then make it your business to get a job, get an education, and get out!