I think it's time for me to let some of my JW family members go...

by cognac 24 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  shamus100

  She said that maybe I should be looking at myself as the cause of hubby not becoming an MS

  Oh pahlease. Look at the years of mind control coming out! Blame, blame, blame. She's a blamer, and has classic low self-esteem. And your hubby not becoming an MS. Wow. A glorified toilet scrubber.

  Make your boundaries known. Be honest to yourself and everyone around you. If you can't talk to your mother without getting emotional, write a letter and mail it. You are not going to put up with that shit starting right now. Limit your contact, and if she breaks YOUR rules, then YOU will limit contact even more, because you refuse to let toxic people ruin your life. Be busy, be happy. Get new friends - get out there and have fun. End everyone's reign of nonsense over your life.

  I know it's easier to say than do, but grit your teeth and do it. You'll be very glad you did.
• 

  fern

  I think limiting and monitoring your child's time with your mother is the way to go. JW's will never stop trying to influence the thinking of their loved ones....even at the most inappropriate times. Let me give you an example.

  Several years ago my teenage son's best friend killed himself. My JW mother was very supportive at first and even attended the funeral with us, which was at a church. A few days after the funeral we went to visit mom and she went on a rant about how my son's friend was not in heaven like they said and he was in the ground and that's where he would stay because what he did was a sin in Jehovah's eyes. The stricken look on my son's face is something I will never forget. Needless to say, I had to do major damage control when we got home. My son was not raised a JW and has only minimal knowledge of their beliefs I told him that just because that is what Grandma believes, does not make it true. I think this helped but I'm still angry that she added more greif upon this already heartbroken boy....all in the name of "the truth".
• 

  cognac

  I remember you telling me a few months ago how you reconnected with some of your non-witness relatives, aunts, grandmothers, etc. Perhaps a suggestion would be to include those loving relatives in your newborn's life even more than the influential " cultish witnesses " so your baby can see what real, authentic, normal love is in a family which treats it's mother with love and respect . Just a thought. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  Yes, they will be very much involved in my child's life!

  Spend less time with them unless they come to you.

  Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.

  Did you doing any SHOPPING for baby clothes today? I saw the Mall traffic was very light today.

  Couldn't. Something was wrong with my car so it needed to get fixed...

  Limit your contact, and if she breaks YOUR rules, then YOU will limit contact even more, because you refuse to let toxic people ruin your life.

  Thanks Shamus. That's what I'm going to have to do. She is so toxic it's practically impossible to be simply content around her. I don't want her hurting my child the way she did to me.

  Several years ago my teenage son's best friend killed himself. My JW mother was very supportive at first and even attended the funeral with us, which was at a church. A few days after the funeral we went to visit mom and she went on a rant about how my son's friend was not in heaven like they said and he was in the ground and that's where he would stay because what he did was a sin in Jehovah's eyes. The stricken look on my son's face is something I will never forget. Needless to say, I had to do major damage control when we got home. My son was not raised a JW and has only minimal knowledge of their beliefs I told him that just because that is what Grandma believes, does not make it true. I think this helped but I'm still angry that she added more greif upon this already heartbroken boy....all in the name of "the truth".

  - That's terrible. My mom decided to give me all this crap days before my ultrasound. So, trying not to be upset about her and be excited about my ultrasound is a bit difficult. I feel like she tried to ruin it for me. Even though she didn't purposely do it, I feel she's just to selfish to simply let me be content...
• 

  no more kool aid

  Wow, your mom and my mom should get together, they have so much in common. I thought that I could keep a superficial relationship with parents for the sake of the children, but StAnn is right the cult mind control makes it very difficult. At least my children are old enough to see it for what it is. There is not one conversation my older son can have with them. He was interested in the election this year and if he said anything he got "it's all going down anyway". If he talks about college they change the subject or say "college isn't for everyone". They can't talk about their birthday. They can't talk about their friends or they get a lecture on worldly associates. We are increasingly having less and less in common with them. I think my situation is a little easier because my husband and I are on the same page. Is your husband going to be taking the baby to the meetings? Will he allow your mom's influence to be stronger than you want it?
• 

  cognac

  Is your husband going to be taking the baby to the meetings? Will he allow your mom's influence to be stronger than you want it?

  We won't be taking the baby to a lot of meetings. We agreed that when the child is older that our child can make that decision on his/her own instead of us making it for him/her.

  No, he barely even talks to my mother. He thinks she is extreme in her viewpoints.