Can fader's ever get off the pot, so to speak?

dinah

They seem afraid of what they would lose.

Can you not see what you would gain? Most of us born-ins lost our first loves at the hands of the WT.

Why live a lie? Don't it eat you up?

Depends on your definition of a fader. I consider myself a fader, in that I no longer go to any meetings or participate in the field circus. Believe me, when you stop going to meetings, jws no longer consider you part of their group. I have never felt it necessary to play their game and by their rules and formally DA myself. I also don't find it necessary or productive to challenge their beliefs to individual jws; strangely enough the ones I do talk to avoid the WT subject when talking to me. But I do talk to non-jws about what the WTS really teaches when asked and have talked to some inactive jws as well.

Blondie

dinah

Blondie, thanks. I'm talking about people who are malcontent to live their lives but suffer on because of fear of loss and put on that false face.

Trying to wrap my mind around it.

AudeSapere

I'm talking about people who are malcontent to live their lives but suffer on because of fear of loss and put on that false face.

I don't consider those people to be faders at all. They may be called indecisive fence-sitters, but the term fader does not really apply to them.

Malcontents could be another term and there are plenty of them both in out of the JW's.

To me, 'fading' actually involves decisive action. As opposed to just 'falling away' or becoming inactive due to weariness.

-Aude.

crazyblondeb

I think, what dinah is having a hard time with is why someone would allow their kids to be subjected to this. It's up to the parents to protect their children.

fern

I can totally see why some people prefer to fade. It almost always has to do with keeping the relationships with JW family and/or friends. The family part I can see...not so much the friends. I do feel sorry for the faders tho. It must be horrible to sit through meetings and listen to that BS and knowing you have to do it or your family will shun you. If they fade long enough I suppose they will eventually get off the pot and it won't be a complete shock. Thus, the beauty of fading.

Tired of the Hypocrisy

I just did. I was offered some priviliges as a carrot to get us back to meetings. I declined and earned a visit from the po and service overlord. I told them that the society is evil and to leave us alone. I am expecting the word to stpread now and to get an announcement to be read.

oompa

so faders still go to meetings some? I thought I was a fader, but guess i am a faded....a term i have never seen to describe and ex dub......to me the fader becomes the faded when he skips his first memorial as i did this year. i did not fade on purpose, and had never heard of jwd....my faith just grew weaker and weaker....and i did less and less for wt....and then one day just told my wife....i cant do this anymore....i am not going to be a hypocrite anymore.........

so i am in favor of a very fast fade....and ya....i still have a handful of super nice, non-judgemental dubs i can hang with, and my parents dont shun me either....but they sure as hell know where i stand...i am very open with all i learned on my own and here at jwd....................oompa

CHILD

I remember the thoughts and feelings I experienced at one of the last meetings I attended during the summer of 2006. The topic was the danger of taking medication. I made a comment that people in pain need pain medication and won't become addicted if one is truly in pain. I knew my relationship with the WTS was over because I already had issues with people signing advance directives without really understanding the consequences of the document.

blondie

"fading" in itself implies a gradual process. I can see people slowing down and stopping "field service," then gradually cutting back on meeting attendance in a way that does not bring close scrutinizing by the elders. I can remember many jws over the years that just slowly disappeared from the jw circle but maintained contact with family and a few "friends." How long that takes is up to them after all how can we JUDGE someone else's life, especially those we have never really talked to at length, met in person, or otherwise spent time with them.

Blondie

Can fader's ever get off the pot, so to speak?

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