My immediate family stopped abruptly 5/08. I still call it a fade because there was a long time that we were living a lie. My heart wasn't in it, things didn't add up and I didn't even visit this website until after I left. It definitely confirmed what I already knew. We still have some friends that are in and they are so bitter, constantly complaining about stupid arguments in the car groups,nepotism, doctrine and the temperature in the KH. However they want us to come back!! I ask myself how long can they keep it up for themselves and bringing kids up in this craziness. I don't want to say too much or I will completely scare them off, but I too wonder, why the miserable pot sitting?
Can fader's ever get off the pot, so to speak?
by dinah 30 Replies latest jw friends
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oompa
Blondie: Depends on your definition of a fader. I consider myself a fader, in that I no longer go to any meetings or participate in the field circus.
Wow....after all this time here...we are just now gettin around to what constitutes a fader? Blondie....i think your def indicates that you are a FADED...like me!......it kinda makes since that if you are FADING as a FADER..that you are still active but only decrementally active....but to me once you stop all activities...esp the memorial....you are a FADED......oompa
we gotta get this straight before JWD shuts down....geeze i thought i was a fader all most of this time....but am a FADED...........oompa.
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Brother Apostate
They are abundant on JWD.
Ironic how "the truth" hates living the truth.
To their own detriment, unfortunately for them.
BA- My advice- Grow cahones, use them. You will feel much better when you do. It isn't easy at first, but in time, you will know it is the right thing to do. The longer you wait, the worse your situation, and the longer it will take to overcome. Act now.
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oompa
bro apostate:
BA- My advice- Grow cahones, use them. You will feel much better when you do. It isn't easy at first, but in time, you will know it is the right thing to do. The longer you wait, the worse your situation, and the longer it will take to overcome. Act now.
let me get this straight....if we grow cahones...we FOR SURE will feel better? even if we let go of good friends/good people we have known for 30 or 40 years or more?......and the longer we wait the more friends like that...... we will find some? BA....you cant replace lifelong friends...you CANT!!!...when you are ten years old and shooting cattails out of bows like arrows at your buds/bros........and wearing goggles an shootin bb's at them...and ridin dirt bikes...and later doin fire drills in cars at stop lights....and swappin spit with every sis you can?.....you can have an impossible time replacing moments like that dammit....and ya...now i have a very wet face...........................................................................................................oompa
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caliber
To me, 'fading' actually involves decisive action. As opposed to just 'falling away' or becoming inactive due to weariness.
-Aude.
I like this distinction in terms.. that's the problem in discussing things terms can mean different things to different people
Even if that distinct is in their own mind and thoughts about what their position is and why . Nothing is quite as simple and
straight forword as we wish it to be !
Caliber
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Brother Apostate
let me get this straight....if we grow cahones...we FOR SURE will feel better? even if we let go of good friends/good people we have known for 30 or 40 years or more?......and the longer we wait the more friends like that we will find them? BA....you cant replace lifelong friends...you CANT!!!...when you are ten years old and shooting cattails out of bows like arrows at your buds/bros........and wearing goggles shootin bb's at them...and ridin dirt bikes...and later doin fire drill in cars at stop lights....and swappin spit with every you sis you can.....you can have an impossible time replacing moments like that dammit....and ya...now i have a very wet face...........................................................................................................oompa
No, if you use them you will feel better- eventually, not instantly. "Good friends/good people" are NOT "good" no matter how long you have associated with them, if they will shun you because you no longer believe as they do. Their "belief" is nothing more than an illusion, the same goes for their "friendship".
There is something much, much, much more important than fake friends and hypocritical actions. It is called the REAL truth.
When you let your cahones grow, and USE them, you will come to appreciate the difference.
Never will you do so until you have done so.
BA- Just do it.
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oompa
BA:
No, if you use them you will feel better- eventually, not instantly. "Good friends/good people" are NOT "good" no matter how long you have associated with them, if they will shun you because you no longer believe as they do. Their "belief" is nothing more than an illusion, the same goes for their "friendship".
There is something much, much, much more important than fake friends and hypocritical actions. It is called the REAL truth.
When you let your cahones grow, and USE them, you will come to appreciate the difference.
Never will you do so until you have done so.
Sorry BA...I have cahones....they are real...i left all i ever knew...i am a total fader and have paid high prices....but i have some REAL friends in there....who do not shun me.....they are ACTIVE...yet their belief is not "an illusion"....they love me enough to accept me as i am despite any consequences....and i hope that what i am doing now may help them someday.....and those that do shun me i feel sorry for...because they are doing the only thing they know to do ....THEY FEEL THEY DONT HAVE A CHOICE and you should know that....you may find out someday...that those with the real truth can just as easily stab you in the back....but i hope not....good luck..........oompa
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Brother Apostate
Sorry BA...I have cahones....they are real...i left all i ever knew...i am a total fader and have paid high prices....but i have some REAL friends in there....who do not shun me.....they are ACTIVE...yet their belief is not "an illusion"....they love me enough to accept me as i am despite any consequences....and i hope that what i am doing now may help them someday.....and those that do shun me i feel sorry for...because they are doing the only thing they know to do ....THEY FEEL THEY DONT HAVE A CHOICE and you should know that....you may find out someday...that those with the real truth can just as easily stab you in the back....but i hope not....good luck..........oompa
When you say "you left", is that so? I haven't seen the evidence. We all pay a high price upon leaving, welcome to "the club". Your illusionary "real" friends, in time, will show their true colors. Those who don't feel they have a choice are destined for the worst of consequences- that is for certain. Just about anyone can stab you in the back, true. Completely leaving the JWs will allow you to better ascertain who is likely to stab you in the back, and who is not.
BA- Good luck on your journey.
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shamus100
People do what they think is best, based on the information they have available to them.
Well said. It's difficult when your whole family is in, and you don't know what to do. It's not a matter of growing some balls - it takes time to realize what to do. We're all different.
Still, I couldn't even imagine going out in service now, let alone a meeting. OMG.
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oompa
me either shamus...just barf...but i am not going to cut off one ball and hope i grow another.....i know what i have....and some of it..just a little aint bad.....oompa