Is it true that the 1st 2 yrs of marriage/living together are the hardest?

by mtsgrad 25 Replies latest jw friends

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  BizzyBee

  ....I'd say it's the last two that are a bitch!
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  flipper

  I truly feel it depends on if you have found the right person who matches well with you emotionally, mentally, sexually, and spiritually . If 2 people are NOT well matched the first 2 years will be hell ( been there , done that in my 2nd marriage ) , but if you are well matched with your partner the first 2 years are wonderful in getting to know each other, experience life together , and being an EQUAL partnership is essential with your mate with neither one feeling like they are being dominated, or dominating the other. A great sense of humor, looking out for the other person's welfare and interest - a relationship will go far if unselfishness is a dominating character trait in both people. That's when you know love has gone to the deepest level as it was meant to be experienced ! My current wife and I have that after 2 years - and it gets bettter and better ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  Bubblie

  I agree with just about everyone here. Living together can be a difficult thing to adjust to for some. Some people do have limits that need to be understood. Work with each other and it will be great but try to live the way you did before you were with each other, forget it! The love thing is the only way you can keep it going. Just remember when you get old and grey that once upon a time the love you had for that person was a wonderful feeling. Sometimes, it never goes away.

  Kit
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  Hope4Others

  I think it all depends why you married in the first place, did you get to know them well first?
  
  Many marry because the other loves Jehovah and its the right thing to do marry in the truth and the courtship
  
  many years ago was too short. The first year is getting to know all about each other depending on the communication
  
  between each other it can go either way. Its all about communication...
  
  
  h4o
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  wha happened?

  after 6 months of heavenly bliss we hit the ground for 2 years. We both grew and learned alot and now it's better than I could have imagined.
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  StAnn

  Seventh year was the hardest for us. First two years were definitely honeymoon stage.

  The issue is whether or not you stay active enough in each other's lives so that you don't grow apart. It's easy to fall into a rut after the kids come, where the kids demand so much of your attention that you begin (unintentionally) ignoring each other and growing apart. You will both grow and develop over time. If you keep open communication, you will do well and you will share each other's values and dreams more and more.

  StAnn
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  calico

  I never got to have the honeymoon stage. He was always pushing me away. I would say the first years were the worst, but I think that is because it was such a let down and I was so hurt by my husband's behavior. All 27 years have been difficult--the problems have changed over the years. Happy pills help me get thru! Money would help me get out! ( not asking for money)!
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  zagor

  Not necessarily, there is always adjustment period, of you two actually learning to understand real feelings other person feels rather than just assuming things. But it is usually a very rewarding experience especially if you two have lots in common. So my advice would be to listen more. There is a lot you can discern from someone’s voice if you really listen in. In time you will come onto a higher level as it were of being able to sense other person’s needs before they are uttered. It just comes naturally, without much effort after you really get to know the person.
  I see it with my parents and few other people I know, there is something between them that speaks even when words are not spoken, and they just get each other, and all these years later there is that spark in their eyes when they are with each other. I guess that is something I want to achieve too. Life is meant to be shared with your perfect match, which means adjustment for the sake of common good and that word people shy away from called happiness.
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  mrsjones5

  After soon to be sixteen years of marriage and four kids I still enjoy being married to my husband. We've had good and bad times but what carries us through it all is a genuine like and respect for each other.
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  Warlock

  It's ALL hard, brother.

  Warlock