...If Jehovah`s Witness`s did Celebrate Christmas...

by OUTLAW 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  OUTLAW

  If Jehovah`s Witness`s did Celebrate Christmas.......What kind of Gifts do you think you would find,under the Christmas Tree?.......................................OUTLAW
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  jamiebowers

  Bookbags, planners, notebooks, ties....
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  ex-nj-jw

  A bible with your name engraved on it
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  Honesty

  And a complete Reasoning Book glued to the back of that Bible.
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  JWdaughter

  Brand new(to you) below the knee A-line preferably plaid skirts from the local value village.
  
  New nylons (hard to keep in nylons when you are JW)
  
  Sensible shoes
  
  Ugly ties
  
  New attache case for the guy who cleans sewer lines
  
  bible coloring books- made and approved by the WT, and therefore filled with pictures of Armageddon, the Flood and Sodom and Gomorrahs destruction,Sampson, Herod (and the wicked dancing stepdaughter), Jepthahs daughter and Judas hanging on a tree. Fun for everyone and appropriate to do at home and good for recess and all the times you have to sit in the corner at holiday/birthday parties at school, because it would be too distracting at the meetings-when they should be LEARNING things. Like what kind of sex not to have.
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Under the tree you would find loads of beautifully wrapped packages for everyone!!

  Unfortunately, when you open the wrapping, you would only find empty boxes.

  That's the way the bOrg works.

  B the X
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  WTWizard

  I think second hand "gifts" would be the norm. Used up circus bags, Bibles (the Not Well Translated version only, bound with the False Reasoning Book), and suits that are so tacky and/or used up that they are worthless would be it. The one good thing might be a $50 call book with cards that cost $10 per 100 to replace.

  Beyond that, anything goes. I would expect linens that have blatantly seen better days. I would expect furniture that is unsafe or has seen the end of its lifespan. I would expect crap kitchen appliances that barely function, and are ugly. I would expect a computer that only goes to the official Witless site and cannot be set up for anything else. I would expect the tackiest of decorations that I would be embarrassed to show off (and not Christmas ones, either). Clothes that are blatantly used up. Dishes that are mismatched and do not suit my potential needs. And a hounding card in a pear tree.
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  OUTLAW

  You need a lot of pens and pencils when you go to a meeting..So,your going to need Pocket Protectors for the Guy`s!.........Lady`s are your skirts too short?..There`s a key chain "measuring tape" under the Christmas Tree for you!..Now you can measure the length of your skirt any where!..................................OUTLAW
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  JeffT

  If JW's celebrated Christmas, every year there would be a big Watchtower article and a special talk on what gifts were appropriate. A couple of elder's wives would make sure they knew who got what. Men that gave their wives skimpy nighties and such would be counseled. As well as those that gave something expensive ("you need to go talk to that little upstart MS, he went to Jarod's". Nothing warlike could be given to boys, Bratz dolls would be banned.
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  beksbks

  JWDaughter, I may have nightmares. That is exactly how it would have been. Only we shopped at The Rummage Hall. That's no joke either.

  JeffT, Bratz dolls should be banned.