by minimus 29 Replies latest jw friends
I knew many people that were in need of assistance within the congregation that never got helped because the "friends" were more focused on getting their field service time in as opposed to helping those within the "brotherhood".
Were you one of those ever in need that got ignored because the brothers and sisters were more involved in "theocratic" pursuits?
Were you one of those that routinely ignored the needy because you had more important spiritual responsibilities to take care of?
I always put people first. Always. And just as I am outspoken now, I was also then. I cringe when I think of JW's talking about how they could not help those in need because as they said, "We are just so busy." But they were the ones who had time to remodel kitchens, etc.
Flyin' , that's wonderful!
Thank you, Minimus. I felt this way: how could a JW spend many hundreds of hours in service, to maybe find one interested person who was willing to study? And then spend a year or two studying and nurturing the student along, doing all kinds of loving things.... And then once the student is baptized, cut the person loose and tell them you are just too busy for them. And then watch as they suffer and gradually lose heart and leave the org.
It's also a matter of Already In JW's being only concerned about their own salvation and welfare.
The religion might flourish if they took care of their own. Everyone knows they treat new ones better than they do those that have been "in the Truth" a long time.
Like many, many dubs, I lived in denial on this topic. I would have argued that everything I did showed how much I cared for others, and that I spent countless hours on behalf of the "flock." However, in retrospect, I spent much of that time doing things that the WTS told me equated to "service to others." It was when I began to realize that a lot of people were falling through the cracks and that there was no serious process in place to relieve suffering in the dubworld that I started wondering why I was there.
From what I have read on this forum for the past five or six years, it's clear that a lot of us deluded ourselves that we were being helpful to others and then came to realize we were in fact kept way too busy with the JW process to produce any real concern.
The dub organization has a very poor record of "taking care of its own" and is widely known as a religion that "shoots its wounded." They talk a good game. But when it comes to compassion for those in need, the dub organization - as a whole (there are certainly individual exceptions) - epitomizes that Texas proverb: All hat, no cattle.
I always put people first and am still reminded to-day how I always helped those in need. One sister who has since been df'd says I'm still a better elder then all the elders in her former cong.She knows even today she could call on me for help and I would be there for her.
Recently she lost a JW brother 45 and an inactive sister 53 to cancer, very sad for her JW mom. I was there to comfort them at the funeral home while there was no sign of the elders there. They really appreciated my being there and realize I am still the same person I was when I was in.
Hopefully it will open their eyes, and I know their mom is having some serious doubts because of the treatment they recieve from their local elders.
I think one of the most hurtful things they've done to me personally was, an elder from the hall I grew up at wouldn't attend my dad's funeral a few years back because he had a part on the meeting that night. Guess being a company man was more important than showing a few minutes respect to one of the kindest, sweetest people this world has ever known :( Been out 10 years or so and the real lack of love still never loses it's shock. BW
This is a great thread and very accurate. Even as as child and a young adolescent I noticed that other religions and "worldly" people were out helping the poor and unfortunate while the JWs did nothing, even encouraged not to. I just didn't get it and I still don't.
When my father died he had not been attending meetings for maybe 2 years although he had been a very active JW for 25 years before that. We did not hear from one JW expressing any condolences or sympathy. JWs are programmed to be heartless and cruel and uncompassionate. The only thing that matters is following the "rules". It is a sick, abusive religion that tears up families and people in many, many insidious ways. I know that it has in my immediate family. The effects from it are still reverberating within my family 30-35 years after we stopped attending meetings. That mental cruelty has the same kind of effects as being physically and mentally abused.
WillyLoman said, "Like many, many dubs, I lived in denial on this topic. I would have argued that everything I did showed how much I cared for others, and that I spent countless hours on behalf of the "flock." However, in retrospect, I spent much of that time doing things that the WTS told me equated to "service to others." It was when I began to realize that a lot of people were falling through the cracks and that there was no serious process in place to relieve suffering in the dubworld that I started wondering why I was there.
"From what I have read on this forum for the past five or six years, it's clear that a lot of us deluded ourselves that we were being helpful to others and then came to realize we were in fact kept way too busy with the JW process to produce any real concern.
"The dub organization has a very poor record of "taking care of its own" and is widely known as a religion that "shoots its wounded." They talk a good game. But when it comes to compassion for those in need, the dub organization - as a whole (there are certainly individual exceptions) - epitomizes that Texas proverb: All hat, no cattle."
~~~
Just thought the whole thing warranted a re-play. Great post, Willy. Great question, Mini.
