Turning 40... A male perspective needed pls (page 3)

Junction-Guy

35 was the turning point for me. 30 wasn't that bad.

I am now 38, and feel like an old man from another era, I still think in 1970's and 1980's mindset.

Most of the guys my age at work are married and have families, it is kind of hard for me, because even if I do get married again, I probably won't have children, unless I marry a much younger woman.

My hair has started turning gray in the past few years, which isn't that bad, but the goattee that I sometimes wear on vacation, is much more grayer and that makes me feel older.

I may post some more later

PrimateDave

Time seems to be getting away. I start looking at people my parents age and realize I will be there much sooner than I think. Who I am, what I have, can be lost so easily. I wonder if I have really lived yet, or am I just waiting to die sooner or later.

Dave

ninja

I like the challenges it provides....i.e ...when you break wind....did you follow through?.....or how long before you change your boxer shorts?.....can you leave them on long enough and yet not too long that you smell like a piss stained pensioner......

Confucious

YNot...

This is my unofficial benchmarks: (for guys - and subject to debate)

18 - of course this is a major benchmark - like you're officially an adult. I think everyone looks forward to this. And there are no losers. Because at 18 - everyone is judged on their dreams and desires.

21 - of course - because you get to drink alcohol - and everyone still looks forward towards the future. And you don't really have to have accomplished anything yet in life.

25 - my pic - because your insurance goes down - you can rent a car. But I think this is the first birthday that makes really reflect. Am I married yet. Do I have a career. But still - at this age - it's still "ok" to not have accomplished anything yet in life.

30 - to me is big. I think this is the birthday where you decide if you're a loser or not. Few are rich at this age - but you start to wonder about your career. If you're married. Or you you look back at your failed relationships.

George Carlin said it best - there are a few winners in life - but a lot of losers... a lot of loser. At 30 - it's the first time you start to wonder if where you are in life and how you compare to all your grandiose dreams when you were 18 and 21.

35 - I think this is the panic age. BS all you want how you feel great - but truth be told - this is the age where guys start to lose their hair and get a little grey. Hate to be negative - but by 35 you show your cards. If you're honest with yourself - you know about how successful you're going to be in life. Whether you have real talent or your just ordinary.

For the record - my 35 was pretty rotten. I was divorced, my economics was in shables, I was depressed and on Paxil. And I had to look back at 30 when I was riding high. And when I was 30, I predicted that I would be retired by now - at 35. That's how hi-flying I was when I was 30.

Now that I'm reaching 40 - I'm feeling good. Great relationship - Great career. Off Paxil. And I feel a whole lot smarter.

I think I'm way better off at 40 than at 30 - even with the hicup in between. And I probably have an outside shot of being retired if I want.

But the difference now being that at 30 I thought I was invincible and thought my success was a owed to me.

At 40 now (or close to it) - I don't take things like that for granted anymore.

So 40 is big. But at 40 I think your more settled in with yourself. You kind of feel settled into who you are.

I'm interested if the other guys feel about 50 and 60.

Confucious

Farkel

20 - you don't know shit, but you think you know everything

30 - you still don't know shit, but you still think you know almost everything.

40 - you still don't know shit, but you begin to think there is some truth in the fact that you don't know shit.

50 - you still don't know shit, but now you really begin to understand that you don't know more shit that you thought you did knew about shit before.

60 - you still don't know shit, but for the first time in your life, you will admit it openly and begin to not worry that you don't know shit. In fact, knowing that you don't know shit becomes kind of a comforting thought.

I will have to wait another 10 years to give my perspective on the next decade. I suspect it will be something like "you still don't know shit and you finally don't even give a shit that you don't know shit, because after all, if you actually knew shit that is what you would know: shit."

The most unenlightened people know nothing. The most enlightened people know nothing, but are aware they know nothing.

Farkel

cameo-d

Your husband is a good candidate for the ultimate gift that a man of any age craves.....and it's the perfect birthday gift!

Give him a special cake so he can have and eat it, too.

yknot

I am all for improvment and looking the best you can at any age but I think hanging with people your own age would make a person more accepting of themself...

Snoozy that is some good advice ......and easy to follow too! Most of our non-JW friends are all his age married to girl my age.

Thanks

Just do what his guy friends would do, whenever he complains about it, call him a pussy and flick him shit. Tell him to put on his man pants, because your going to give him a party, and reward him heartily afterward.

Seeing how we are currently separated & I am still stewing...... do you think he will consider a winter hunting excursion a 'heartily' good reward?............ On the other hand maybe a little 'dominate behavior' is something he secretly craves...... Thank you

I am now 38, and feel like an old man from another era, I still think in 1970's and 1980's mindset.

Most of the guys my age at work are married and have families, it is kind of hard for me, because even if I do get married again, I probably won't have children, unless I marry a much younger woman.

My hair has started turning gray in the past few years, which isn't that bad, but the goattee that I sometimes wear on vacation, is much more grayer and that makes me feel older.

Oh JG.......... hug You will be happy to know the baby making trend has been extended women in their 40's. I know several couples both in their 40's who are welcoming their first child, and planning on one or two more. It is all about getting enough vitamins to make her eggs healthy. As for your hair, if you aren't satisfied, maybe do as Snoozy's son-inlaw is doing.....dye the beard too!.....dare I suggest ((gasp)) shave! There are benefits to both beared and clean shaven men ........ Thanks

Time seems to be getting away. I start looking at people my parents age and realize I will be there much sooner than I think. Who I am, what I have, can be lost so easily. I wonder if I have really lived yet, or am I just waiting to die sooner or later.

I think he is doing some of that too..... But it would seem to be a great motivator to prioritize what is important. Thank You for Sharing

I like the challenges it provides....i.e ...when you break wind....did you follow through?.....or how long before you change your boxer shorts?.....can you leave them on long enough and yet not too long that you smell like a piss stained pensioner......

You dirrrrrrty boy you......

This is my unofficial benchmarks: (for guys - and subject to debate)

Confucious Your timeline makes me realize that most of these benchmarks we had major events in our lives.... 18 & 21 I didn't know him and was 'jail bait' anyways......... 25.... married 30 1st child.... 35 2nd child...... 40.. ..... ....... ....... Thank you

The most unenlightened people know nothing. The most enlightened people know nothing, but are aware they know nothing

Farke you are too funny......but also quite 'deep'. Kisses

yknot

Your husband is a good candidate for the ultimate gift that a man of any age craves.....and it's the perfect birthday gift!
Give him a special cake so he can have and eat it, too.

That is a good idea.....now all I have to do is decide on the theme.....

(that will take some 'maturing' on my part....but I got until April)

Thanks Cameo

kurtbethel

I found it to be no big deal, though it did coincide with the year 2000. I have gotten less patient with nonsense and stupidity from people right around then, as if realizing life is too short for that stuff.

tenyearsafter

Ynot...I agree with alot of the other men commenting...30 was a bigger deal than 40. For me, turning 30 meant that I could no longer blame all of the stupid things I do on "being a kid"...I remember (barely!) that I was feeling very melancholy on my 30th and felt I had reached a real turning point in my life. Turning 40 was not nearly as traumatic, though for me it was the beginning of my transition away from the status quo in both the "Truth" and my marriage. I think I started to really think about my life and the fact that I was not happy. I was successful in my career, but the other areas of my life were lacking. I think 40 is also an age that causes us to realize that we likely have less of life ahead than what we have already lived. I made the changes I needed to do to make me happy...I left the "Truth" and a loveless marriage. Before anyone comments that this was a "mid-life crisis". I will say that this is something that had brewed for the previous 10 years...it just culminated in my early 40's. If I had a happy marriage...or at the very least tolerable, I would have stayed married. I, in fact, re-married at 52 and have been very happy since! Now that I am in my late 50's, I can honestly say my 40's were some of the best years I have experienced...health is still good, money is more plentiful and I was happy for the firstime in many, many years. Tell Hubby he will love his 40's...and so will you!

Turning 40... A male perspective needed pls

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