Casper Milquetoast's Cousin, Walter Mitty

by compound complex 128 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Far too preoccupied with the day's turgid events and the lackluster party turnout stemming from the oversight of the editor of The Gussyville Gazette, Horace Showplane, to have his birthday notice printed, Walter, nevertheless, mustered courage and his limpish hotdog while awaiting Suzette Marquette's arrival at the gate of the lion cage, Atwatter Zoological Gardens, Santa Diega, CA.

    Nearly falling into further desultory meanderings of a spirit gone to hell in a proverbial handbasket, the underwrought Walter sought, once and for always, to toss his underappreciated and -sized scarecrow frame into Leo and Leona's moat and let the two senile felines make sport with his squirming but willingly surrendered soul. As he let himself into the big cats' lair [the key had, strangely enough, been left, as usual, in the deadbolt by the ever-forgetful Roger Clomsky, zoo attendant], Walter saw his life flash before him - escapades in mischief and mayhem with his frail and trembling cousin Caspar Milquetoast, visions of his haranguing but well-intended Mother Mitty speaking noisy volumes into stopped-up ears, the delightful baked-goods' aroma wafting from the open window of his grandmother's kitchen ...

    Walter! WALTER!!! You've been sitting on that rock for over an hour! If you're finished swimming, come up here and change out of those wet things! Look at you shivering like a steam engine! Where does your mind get to? Come along now, Grandmother Mitty has made her lemon potato pie.

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    *Happy*

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga
    LEMON FLAVORED SWEET POTATO PIE
    2 c. mashed, cooked sweet potatoes
    1 c. sugar
    1/2 tsp. salt
    1 c. evaporated milk
    2 eggs
    1 tsp. vanilla
    1/2 c. melted butter
    1 tsp. lemon extract
    9" unbaked pie shell Mix all ingredients. Turn into pie shell and bake on cookie sheet for about 30 minutes at 400 degrees.

    http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1938,151172-236206,00.html

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Wow, Baba!

    It is for real. Thanks much. Gonna get into the spirit of the story and try it!

    Love,

    CoCo

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    Walter??? What are you doing with that mound of graying shredded potato??!! And lemon?! And the last of my sugar!!!

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    ... pondering ... pondering....

    Seeking choice words at the bottom of my inkwell.

    Thanks, dear Beks!

    CC

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    I'll be back here in the morning, I hope I have a good read to greet me.

    CoCo, did I ever ask you about Penrod? Same period I believe.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    The infamous "they" say all too often, this writer suspects, that there are no atheists in foxholes.

    Captain Mitty, known as good old Wally even to the rank and file soldier who took the intrepid, brave veteran of many a battle to his humble, little proverbial bosom, was as stalwart as a military leader could possibly be. Life in the trenches of occupied French West African was no picnique, yet comrade-in-arms Mitty made it his personal mission to fight off the aggressor Ban-Ban zealots with one hand and, with the other hand, provide any and all assistance necessary to guide and support his hero-worshipping underlings. They believed in a higher being all right: Captain Indomitable Mitty!

    It was a hot and searing wind blowing off the Suez peninsula, dust devils charging down in mass upon the beleaguered infantry. The key to survival, as Mitty saw it, was to dig and dig and dig further still into the gray soil that underlay the upper strata of calcified sand.

    "Dig, men, dig, with all your heart and soul! Let's see you put your shoulder to the spade and elude these Saharan devils!"

    Yet, as the men dug deeper and deeper, the white sands continued to blow with a ferocity that produced a momentary shiver up and down the stiff and sure spine of their normally unflappable leader. Not one to cave in to irrational fear, however, Mitty drew himself to his full height [in a manner of speaking, as to do so literally would have been foolish, given the scenario the omniscient writer has laid before you, the reader] and displayed his typical pluck in the face of overwhelming odds, the newest of which - the Ban-Bans be cursed for their ill-timed military maneuver - was that these desert rats commenced rushing unannounced the decimated band of Wally's warriors.

    Seizing the moment and a grenade - the last - Captain Mitty pulled the plug, and with all his heart and all his considerable, masculine might, lobbed the the zesty orb into the center of the oncoming gang of barbarian cutthroats, sending them screaming and limbs flailing into the middle of the following year: 1823 in the year of our Lord.

    Winds abated and the enemy routed into an ontological paradox, the incredulous little troop of Loyalists gave their fearless leader three sturdy, atmosphere-splitting huzzahs and knew that they would live to ...

    "Walter??? What are you doing with that mound of graying shredded potato??!! And lemon?! And the last of my sugar!!!"

    Walter, sugar on his face, shredded potato at his feet, and lemon in hand, awoke from his dream of desert conquest only to face the nightmare of his mother's wrath, a frenzied madness that would make the Ban-Bans appear pansies by contrast.

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Poor, dear Walter! Well his dreams may have been dashed, but perhaps he could still have pie.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Pie will soothe the savage b[r]east ...

    Thanks, Baba!

    CoCo

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