New JW hobby when going to the KH

by Iwonder17 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  Elsewhere

  It sure would be awful if all of the doorknobs were covered with grease.

  Only a veeery awful person would leave some raw seafood in a garbage can after the Sunday meeting.

  I would NEVER suggest someone write words like "Satan" in big letters on the walls using lemon juice. (wait a few months for the result to become visible)

  Another thing I would never suggest would be squirting bleach into all of the key holes, door hinges or any other sensitive metal objects (such as microphone hookups). (keep in mind, a little bit goes a long way)
• 

  SnakesInTheTower

  The last year or two, even as an elder, I spent a lot of time in the library (while I was secretary I was doing "paperwork", but the PO put an end to that..so then I just started reading in the library.."researching")...or out in the lobby (but the PO tried to end that too)... time spent in the bathroom stall...making gas noises.... sometimes real, sometimes not.

  Find someone to get into conversations with out in the lobby. If some robo-attendant tries to run you back into the auditorium, take the conversation outside.

  If your KH has FM transmitters for the hard of hearing, bring a MP3 player with FM radio..but dont tune it to the local spiritual feast. Who would know what you are listening to?

  Find a way to get out of going...harder if you have family in.

  Snakes ()
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  Tuesday

  I like where this is going...

  Only a sick, sick person would when cleaning the kingdom hall right before leaving put clear drying cement over the hole in the water fountain.

  Hopefully no one would ever think of putting small peas underneath the legs of every chair in the Kingdom Hall right before the Circuit Assembly

  Only a delinquent would cover all the lightbulbs in the hall with Paste.
• 

  darth frosty

  I would NEVER suggest someone write words like "Satan" in big letters on the walls using lemon juice. (wait a few months for the result to become visible)

  A few months to become visible hmm.
• 

  jws

  I'm not into any permanent damage.

  What about pest infestations? I don't know how good their pest control is. Maybe some roaches, fleas, mice, or rats? Some food left to keep them around? A mouse or rat released during the middle of a meeting is sure to cause a disruption if it's seen.

  Leaving something to rot sounds good too. Like middle of summer, last one out on Sunday before they lock up. Let it sit and bake in the heat until Thursday night. Most halls I've seen lately don't have too much in the way of windows to air the place out. You'll have people gagging and maybe leaving.

  Wireless mic in the bathroom stall broadcasting to the sound system?

  Some of these things might be mistaken for natural, like bad gas smells or a mouse/rat. A lot of other things will show signs of somebody behind it and a search will be on to find the culprit. If they find a rotting fish at the hall, they'll know it was left there on purpose by somebody among them. Which could put people on alert and result in getting caught trying to pull your next prank.

  This isn't meeting disruptive, but could disrupt the congregation a bit...

  Are you in a cold climate? Do they have a coat room that's somewhat unattended? Slip a cute single sister's phone number with a "call me" and hearts into some married elder's pocket? Maybe even more suggestive or graphic than that, but believable. Maybe suggest a lunch together for just the two of them. There's a lot of ways for that to pay off depending on who finds it and what they do with it. Just remember, that in general, guys and girls have different handwriting. Don't know whether you're a guy or a girl. Get a girl to write the note for more authenticity.
• 

  rebel8

  I think we’ve come up with a LOT of ideas over the years—maybe you can find them in a search. I can’t even remember them all.

  A poster named Richie Rich made fake checks to put in the donation boxes. You could do that.

  Get some smurfs--put them in strategic places in the kh.

  It would be SO AWFUL if you were to develop a sudden case of Tourette’s Syndrome.

  Applaud inappropriately long and loud, and at inappropriate times, such as special needs talks.

  Smile to yourself and start laughing. Look slightly over one shoulder and say shhh, like you are hearing a demon talk.

  Are you a male or female? Cause you could make your own necklace or tie tack that looks very similar to a wicca star.

  Wear the most out-there jw clothes you can. You will need to take a trip to the Rescue Mission secondhand store for this. Female-dress like the people on the fundie Mormon commune. Male-polyester leisure suits, really wide lapels, white tube socks, etc.

  Get ahold of an old publication, and pretend to look things up in it during talks. For a bookmark, print out one of the Bethel Christmas cards on heavy paper (found by Googling).

  Get a CD of haunted house sounds they use at Halloween, and find a way to play it during the meeting, on really low volume so no one can be certain it’s not their imagination.

  When out “warming up your car”, leave some porn inside someone’s car.
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  cameo-d

  LMAO! You all are very clever little devils!

  guys and girls have different handwriting. Don't know whether you're a guy or a girl. Get a girl to write the note for more authenticity.

  I wouldn't trust anyone else to keep a secret like that. Just make the letters big and loopy and dot the i's with hearts.
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  rebel8

  You could also make some bookmarks with the RandCam logo and the logo of the tobacco company that wts owned stock in. [Yeah, yeah, I know the story.......but wts has at its disposal attorneys and fleets of volunteers that could have researched it and unloaded it.........which is exactly what they expect jws to do.]

  Or how about some news clippings being found every once in a while when someone is cleaning the kh or whatever. Google Beth Sarim, Jesus Cano, watchtower ngo, miracle wheat, etc. Or some clippings from old magazines, such as the 1945 one that said only Pharisees would prohibit blood transfusions, followed a few years later by......you guessed it....
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  shamus100

  As a side note on singing loud,

  Sing in a higher pitch at different times. Also, when you get those goofy songs that have the bracketed verses that nobody sings (pardon my ignorance, I don't know what they're called), sing them loudly.
• 

  Elsewhere

  If you feel like self destructing in the middle of a meeting, just light up a cigarette and start puffing on it.

  You could also put on head phones and start playing Marilyn Manson so near by people can hear it.