So I've agreed to a Bible Study, how will I get thru it without wanting to die?

by lola28 41 Replies latest jw friends

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  lola28

  No joke. The sister who studied with me is older and she's been having a very hard time getting around out in service, I heard she was ill so I called her and this morning she came by my office and we started to talk, her kids have all moved away and she's lonely, going out in service is hard for her but she tries her best to get out there, she asked me if I would consider a study with her and I said yes. I miss her terribly, she's the closest thing I've had to a grandmother and I adore her, also I'd rather she be with me indoors instead of walking around house to house when her legs give her so much trouble.

  Am I crazy for doing this? I flat out will not go out in service (EVER) but what can it hurt to spend some time with her and to allow her a way to get some time in without doing something that might hurt her, plus if she’s with me she can’t get to anyone else J so guys what are your thoughts, any and all opinions are welcomed.
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  cawshun

  Lola

  If you have the time, its very kind of you to help her out. keep a clear mind and don't fall into the JW trap again and you'll be ok.
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  steve2

  You sound like a very compassionate person. But compassion can be a tricky emotion because it can lead you to do all sorts of things you would not normally do. Ultimately you decide how far to take your involvement in the Bible Study, but you need to ask yourself how fair are you being by agreeing to a Bible Study with this lady simply because you feel sorry for her and miss her company?

  In a way, as well-intentioned as you are, you are deceiving her. Deceit isn't a very sound basis for a relationship.
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  yknot

  bookmarked with baited interest........(umm, schooch over a bit, are we the only two in this boat?)
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  momzcrazy

  You can keep things neutral. Focus more on visiting and latest news from family. That's kind of you to do.

  We were out in service when I was small and we went to the door of an old lady. She had just fallen. She had been a widow for decades and the nephews she raised moved away. We kind of adopted her. I'm sure our visits started off like RV's, but soon she was Grandma. She was at my wedding. She never became a JW, we never became Mormon. But we became family.
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  lola28

  yknot, feel free to pm me.
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  yknot

  Perhaps someone would be kind enough to point out some fresh sticking points.....gentle ones, to get the conductor doing a little 'independent thinking'.........
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  undercover

  Okay, call me a cynic...

  But why do you have to subject yourself to an unpleasant chore just to share some time with this lady?

  Why can't the two of you find a fun or pleasant recreation or hobby that both you can enjoy?

  You may see an old, lonely lady in need of companionship and I'm sure is and does, but I also see a woman who is using emotional blackmail to get you to back in the fold.

  The truth of the matter is that the average JW isn't interested in true friendship...they're interested in converting people to their religion and then they'll call them "friend"...and then it's conditional that they remain an active JW.

  A question that would be foremost in my mind would be, Would she be willing to spend time with me if I said 'no' to the Bible study? The answer to that question would be telling...
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  Mary

  lola, that's really sweet that you would like to help her...I'm kind of leery of you agreeing to a biblestudy though, because it gives her false hope that you want to return to 'the truth'. It's your decision, and I wouldn't do it myself, but if you do, here's something to keep in mind: Try not to do any more than one or two paragraphs, and then try and just talk with her. Most elderly people love the company of younger ones and you could encourage her to talk about other things: her youth, marriage, kids, etc. That way she can count her time without doing too much studying.
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  lola28

  Undercover:Cynic

  She's actually asked me to several social events and to just spend time with her but I've always stayed away mostly so i would not have to lie to her about anything but I have missed her, she helped shape me as a person and she's great company.