Why do you need another study with her? Are you not already baptised?
So I've agreed to a Bible Study, how will I get thru it without wanting to die?
by lola28 41 Replies latest jw friends
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John Doe
Touch situation. On one hand, I can understand your desire to accomadate her beliefs and make her happy. On the other hand, you might be setting both of you up for disappointment and hurt. When studying, a JW has to see some "spritual progress" in the study, or they feel they are not worthy witnesses. If you "progress," however, you'll be going against your grain.
Tough call. I know that I would not have taken a study, but then again I sometimes still have bad dreams of the disappointed and hurt look on my now deceased mother's face when I began to make it clear that the "truth" was not for me.
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lola28
Maarjori, I got baptized whn i was 18.
JD, I'm so sorry to hear that, I don't think I could stand knowing that I've hurt her, plus it's only 30 minutes a week, how bad can it be? I'm going to BS my way thru it just like I did highschool.
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Marjorie
...I have missed her, she helped shape me as a person and she's great company
Lola, you're letting misplaced sentimentality get the better of you. This is one of the most insidious ways in which JWs use the natural affection that we have as human beings against us - forcing people to lie to themselves, and to others, in order to continue or preserve a friendship, or familiar bond. And that is what you are doing, Lola. You are not being truthful to you, or to her.
Remember, the purpose of the JW bible study is not to teach, but to convert and inculcate. And you know the truth behind the Society's lies. It is truly a soul crushing religion. Why, in the name of all that's decent, would you willingly subject yourself to it again?
If she's great company, you can - and should - do various activities with her, as others have suggested. That puts your feelings about her in the proper perspective.
But having a study with her, especially when you know that you no longer believe in the JWs, is not fair to either one of you.
I know that you can't see this situation as clearly as the rest of us do, but at this moment, your relationship with this woman is not based on mutual respect.
Think about it. Please.
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quietlyleaving
Lola
But she may enjoy what she is doing.
my suggestion is to visit her hall one day, if you can, you may be pleasantly surprised at the attention and love she receives. In the congo I used to attend elderly ones were alway held up as examples and were shown a measure of respect - they had a place and interaction.
Another consideration is that if you agree to a study she may decide to bring a pioneer or an elder even.
But I get that you feel for her and both of you would like to remain friends
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yesidid
I think you are showing compassion for someone who has been kind to you and whom you love.
Beautiful, should be more of it.
My only suggestion would be: Could you ask that the choice of study material be yours?
Then you you could study "The Greatest Man" book. It is probably the least disgusting of their publications.
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Black Sheep
Be the perfect study that we all dreamed to find. But...
....be ready to ask all of the questions that you didn't ask in the nicest possible way.
Cheers
Chris
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changeling
Lola: You are being very kind, but I have to agree with undercover on this one. You're being used. Be careful.
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rebel8
I have a suggestion for middle ground. On your first appointment, say you are not interested in studying the Bible or publications, could she show you how to knit [cook, or whatever]? She can still count it as a return visit if she slips some zombie "you will be assimilated" ramblings in between stitches.
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changeling
Just a thought: I've been out for a couple of years, but it used to be that to study with an inactive person you had to have the Service Overseer's recommendation/blessing. Your friend is going out on a limb here. When she reports you as a study, a red flag will be thrown (if the service overseer knows you). You may be in for more than a study with an old friend.