- Dad = Elder
- Mom = Annointed
- Grand Dad, Dad's Side = PO
- Grand Data, Mom's Side = PO & Annointed
- Close Family Friend (Male) = Annointed
- Close Family Friend (Female) = Annointed
<--- That's all I got to say about that.
Were you Raised by an " Elder " Father in the Witnesses ?
by flipper 26 Replies latest jw friends
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Elsewhere
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flipper
JWS- Boy do we ever have things in common in regards to our elder fathers ! My dad was a city overseer for over 30 years as well ! Wow - Not only did my dad have an alcoholic father - but HIS dad died when my dad was only 35 years old. My family was very well known also. People would treat us like JW royalty - it was really stupid - I detested it. I preferred to be treated normally actually. I agree with how you treated your parents. I don't try to change my 83 yr.old dad or 81 yr.old mom either. It would freak them out too much if they got out of witnessland now. So they respect my fade and I respect their witness hood.
MICKEY MOUSE- You too, eh ?
COFFEE BLACK- Glad to hear your dad encouraged you to go to college and was a wonderful man. You were lucky to have a supportive father.
ELSEWHERE- Wow. Sounds like your family was crawling with elder and anointed relatives ! Sorry to hear it. Glad you escaped and got out ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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jwfacts
I was raised an elders son. Most of the other kids did not have elder fathers, so they let me know they thought i was given preferential treatment. The result was that Dad went the other way so as not to look like he was showing nepotism.
Like you, none of my life's accomplishments count for anything. My parents are on the circuit work, so get asked about whether they have kids, what they do etc. My mother sent me an sms when I stopped going to meetings saying there was nothing about me that she can mention that she is proud about. I was flabberghasted. What about my family, kids, the cafe I set up from scratch, the house I had built, the fact I had a uni degree and good job?
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primitivegenius
Yeah been there an done that. My dad had his issues, still does. He never was any good at balance tho he did honestly try to be. He always put the congregation first before our family, and worried about its "reputation". I didnt grow up in "fear" of him, but he had a temper and the fact that he had serious blood sugar swings made him someone that i didnt care to be around alot of the time cause you never knew when he was gonna go off. tempers run in our family and with those serious mood swings he would be fine then the next minute just at "11".
it didnt affect me to much tho because once he got those under controll he was ok, but i wasted so damn much time in that cult, always out in service and building kingdom hells. it was fun while i was drinking the kool aid. i guess alot was expected of me and i did my best to fit their mold. i did get an inside look at the bulls*** that happens in those congregations tho. i saw the stupid crap that was let go for peace's sake and it kept comeing back to haunt the elders. when they offered to make me an elder i just shook my head and made up the excuse that i didnt feel worthy lol. at that time i still thought it was the truth and i knew that if they made me one i would have to do what jehovah wanted me to and put an end to the same old crap ................... wasnt worth the effort. i almost got guilt tripped into it tho because they were like.......... we need the help, we dont have enough elders to do all the work.......... i still dont know if it was just that or if they wanted an extra pawn to vote their way. i had to much time taken away by being a ms to want to waste all the rest of my time being an elder. i never wanted that glory lol.
i have this problem of calling it like i see it, its hard to bite my tongue when i need to and i dont like upsetting people. fortunately i dont have to worry about that now. when my PO ELDER father asked if i was going to another church............ i changed the subject........... when later on my sister and mother tried to cornor me............... i told them they really didnt want to know............. and they insisted......... so i gave them both barrels and pulled no punches. told them that they condemned babylon the great and christendom........... yet the witnesses were shareing in her sins. so i "got out of her" to hopefully wash my sins gained from that cult off in time.
big shock they didnt like that much.
now my dad never calls me, mom does only rarely. and they are totally missing out on their only grandsons life. suits me............ i aint recording it for them. they choose that cult then they are welcome to it. when i was living 12 hours away from them......... they couldnt come to visit me and my son............. yet somehow they could come half way about six or eight times in order to work on an assembly hall. cant find the time or money to come see me but can go build kingdom halls.............. nice dad. the stuff you miss out on today you will never get to make up for. enjoy the kool aid
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watson
Facts,
Not that it matters much what I think, but if you were my son, I would be so proud! Just goes to show that even though you were raised in a styfling cult-ture, you have managed to accomplish much! Congrats!!
Watson
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AgentSmith
Yes. Gung ho elder, I had to be the good example. He was away a lot with the congregation responsibilities. Countless times we had to wait after the Service meeting while the elders have another meeting in the side hall. Disciplinarian, yes. Spanking, plenty.
Relationship has been strained for many years, and since December, after he accused me of apostasy, no communication at all.
I did get on better with mom, since she seemed more 'balanced' and was at home with us.
My youth was not bad. But I had an almost absent father. However my relationship with my own son is very different. I MAKE the time to speak to him, be interested in his life. No stupid rules, and he will study further. I told him I would go into debt, but he will go to university.
Agent Smith
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flipper
JWFACTS- I understand where you are coming from . I too have never recieved any compliments from my JW elder father for any of my non-witness accomplishments . My mom has- but not dad . I agree with Watson- if I had a son like you - you'd be receiving compliments all the time. You have everything to be proud of with what you've accomplished ! Never forget that !
PRIMITIVE GENIUS- It sounds like your mom and dad are really mind controlled as well regarding their views inside witnessville. I agree with your take on not wanting to be an elder. I was in the same position in my 20's - they were pushing for me to be one of those ( late 20's elders ) and I just stepped down as a ministerial servant . I too saw the political games being played and because I'm pretty independent and a straight shooter in calling attention to injustices - I knew I'd never last as an elder. I would have ended up getting into a fight with one of the self righteous bastards. I'm so sorry your parents are missing out on their only grandchild - I'm sure that just kills you - they are so mind controlled by the cult. It's awful they are entrapped . Just please know I care. I'm shunned by relatives as well.
WATSON- I agree - JW FACTS has accomplished much ! He has everything to be proud of !
AGENT SMITH- I feel for you. My dad was constantly busy growing up being occupied with elders meetings and " responsiblities " in the congregation. Like yourself I have developed a much closer relationsgip with my son and have paid for his college education as well. I consider my son my best friend - outside of my wife ! So hopefully like you and me - a lot of us can learn from our repressed childhoods and make a better life for our own children