Jehovah's Witnesses For Dummies (page 2)

sir82

The core doctrine of Jehovah's Witnesses, more important than anything else they teach:

The Governing Body speaks for God. They have direct access to him, and disobeying them is functionally equivalent to disobeying God himself.

OnTheWayOut

JW's for Dummies already exists on the internet:

http://www.towertotruth.net/Articles/jw_for_dummies.htm

Here's the beginning portion:

Have you ever been disturbed on a relaxed Saturday morning by unexpected strangers knocking on your front door? Out front are two well-dressed people, holding briefcases, who are offering free magazines and eager to talk to you about God’s Kingdom. They say they’re from the local Kingdom Hall and seem to know the bible well. In fact, they can quote scripture from memory and appear to have answers for all your questions. Did you ever wonder who these people are, where they come from and what they believe?

Who Are They?

The religious group known as Jehovah's Witnesses originated in Pennsylvania in the 1870's as a small group of followers of Charles Taze Russell. Today they have branched out into more than 200 countries with over 6 million members zealously spreading their gospel. These faithful men and women, known for their refusal to vote, salute the flag, celebrate holidays and receive blood transfusions, are led by a large organization, headquartered in Brooklyn, New York, called the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Members of this religion freely spend hours per month - some as many as 90 hours or more - going door-to-door, handing out religious literature and conducting free in-home bible studies with prospective converts. As dedicated and sincere as they are, unfortunately, many of their teachings are sharply opposed to the teachings of biblical Christianity. Let’s quickly review several teachings of the Jehovah’s Witnesses by quoting Watchtower magazines and contrasting them with the Bible:

It's a serious article and not much good for laughs. Still, it eerily captures the essence
of "For Dummies" books.

In their WINDS OF CHANGE section, the article discusses changes in policy. Some of the
NOW stuff is funny enough to put in Minimus' "Dummies" book to better understand JW's:

Early Years	Now
Christ's Invisible Presence Began in 1874	Christ's Invisible Presence Began in 1914
Jesus Should be Worshipped	Jesus Should not be Worshipped
Smoking Permitted	Smoking Forbidden
Saluting the Flag and Voting Permitted	Saluting the Flag and Voting Forbidden
Jesus Died on a Cross	Jesus Died on a Stake
Jesus is not the Archangel Michael	Jesus is the Archangel Michael
All Witnesses will go to Heaven	Most Witnesses will Live Forever on Earth
Blood transfusions Allowed	Blood transfusions Forbidden
Called God, Lord	Call God, Jehovah
Celebrated Holidays	Holidays not Celebrated
Could go to War	Can not go to War
Vaccination Forbidden	Vaccination Allowed

OnTheWayOut

To show you how insignificant JW's are in the big picture, MORMONS actually do have a
"For Dummies" book about them:

http://www.amazon.com/Mormonism-Dummies-Jana-Riess/dp/0764571958/ref=sip_rech_dp_3/176-3133840-1390050

This fake book was the closest I could come on the JW's for Dummies:

Even Wicca and Witchcraft, Buddhism, and Catholicism get their own "For Dummies" but not JW's.

minimus

The essence of my book is the edumacation of any that don't understand the Witlesses. (That was for Outlaw's benefit).

Undercover says it well: Just do as you're told. (And even if we were or are wrong, it's better to listen to "The Slave" and be obedient than to disagree and be correct).....Got that??

Doubting Bro

#1 - Everyone should examine their religion - except JWs who "know" they have the truth.

#2 - False religion has clergy that do bad things, pedophiles, unkind members, divorce, ect which proves they are false. When a JW experiences those things in the local congregation, well, its a perfect organization filled with imperfect men and doesn't mean anything.

#3 - Elders and higher are appointed by holy spirit, unless they do something unChristian at which point they could still be appointed by holy spirit as long as the unChristian conduct happened a few years ago. Also, the spirit can work to unappoint you but only if another human actually turns you in.

minimus

I LOVE IT!!!

Clam

event_922418.jpg picture by elvishimmler

minimus

NEVER READ LITERATURE PRODUCED BY THE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY THAT IS NOT CURRENT!

"Current" is identified by asking your elders first.

BluesBrother

Jehovah's Witnesses always believe The Bible, so when it says "Abstain from Blood" they do , - well in a way ..

They say that blood is sacred and must be 'poured on the ground' or used in ancient sacrifice and ritual. Soooo. they would rather die than receive it transfused in their bodies. They say that would be like rape, (but they do not have to resist rape to the point of death) . If they offered a blood donation they would be thrown out of the church and their best friends would'nt speak to them again - ever!

But they do accept the blood that other kind people have donated in Blood Banks. After it has been stored, centrifuged, broken down to smaller parts, they can accept it into their bodies because it is not really blood any more ,but then, not all at the same time because that would make it blood and it would be sacred again.

You see ??

minimus

The blood components is interesting. Witnesses can't take whole blood but fractions may be fine. To see with fractions are permissable, one must research the Watchtower publications. If you get confused and accept the wrong blood component you would be "bloodguilty".

See.

Jehovah's Witnesses For Dummies

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