As much as you want complete closure regarding this with Mrs. oompa, I'm sad to say that it ain't gonna happen. Not as fast or in the way you want, anyway.
Until your wife is actually questioning things herself, she's not going to listen to your arguments or read your letters that question her belief in the Society as God's exclusive channel. Her short reply to all your points is evidence of that. She basically ignored everything you had to say on the matter.
That's not to say your marriage is doomed. You may have to accept that she's going to continue to accept the Society as what they claim to be. The real issue at this point in time is to get her to accept that you no longer want to be associated with the Society or the congregation. Forget trying to convince her that the "truth" is wrong and convince her that you're going to be happier away from it. If you can get her to accept that you're done with the JWs, she can move ahead and not dwell on it either.
On the flip side of that is that you're going to have to bend a little as well. You'll have to accept that she likes being a JW and you'll have to deal with it. You can still have a happy marriage despite the differences in belief in the JW lifestyle. It ain't easy, but it is possible and you do learn to be a little more tolerant of people with different beliefs and ideas.
Counseling is the right step and I know that you've pursued it somewhat. I know some JWs are afraid of it, but if your wife is interested in keeping the marriage alive, she should want to get a neutral third party involved. You can both learn from it.
No matter what happens, we're here for ya...and I'm not that far away either. When the weather breaks, we'll play golf or go riding.
