My Chat with My Older JW Mom about Missing Meetings due to Health

by flipper 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  flipper

  It never ceases to amaze me how the mind control of Jehovah's Witnesses makes their older people feel so guilty about missing meetings. I mean - they have experiences all the time at assemblies about sister " white hair " barely able to stand on her feet , yet she goes pounding on doors in neighborhoods in inclement weather , perhaps on crutches handing out Watchtowers to people. You hear of how " admirable " it is for a senior citizen impaired in a wheelchair , perhaps on breathing devices - jeopardizing catching a cold by attending metings perhaps among kids with snot running out their nose and coughing in older ones faces. Amazing what the powers that be in the witnesses require.

  So it was with this in mind when I had a chat with my 81 year old mom about her health. She had hip surgery last fall, and has had numerous back operations over many years. She told me she fell in her hallway last week tripping in her boots with heels hurrying to go to the meeting. She fell to her knees and got bruised up pretty badly. She explained to me that she went ahead to the meeting with my dad ( an elder ) because in her view she stated, " I figured I could sit at the meeting and be just as uncomfortable there as I would at home. " I replied to her, " Well, mom, the advantage to being at home though is you would have had your own easy chair or bed where you could prop up your feet and put a pillow under your knees or back. " Then she agreed with me and said, " You know, you are right ! It would have been easier staying at home ! " Then she explained that's why she was staying home on the night I called her as she told my dad she just wasn't up to going. I told her, " Mom- You don't have to feel guilty about not going. I think God will cut you some slack here. Your health is the main important thing to take care of . " So she sees a doctor this week to check her back.

  But it really annoys the hell out of me how these older ones are made to feel so " guilty " about missing one meeting ! And how unimportant to the JW's their present health concerns are ! So - I try to be the voice of reason to her. Seeing how my dad is an elder - hopefully he doesn't put pressure on her when she's under the weather to attend. So have any of you folks dealt with this in your families ? Have you noticed this trend in the witnesses ? I look forward to your comments as always. Peace and love to everybody
• 

  White Dove

  Yes! My grandmother laments her less than theocratically active lifestyle and wishes she could just do more in the truth. She's the type that actually gets real joy out of doing service and other activities with the cong. She does feel guilty about not being able to do more.
• 

  WTWizard

  Whatever happened to cost/benefit? Obviously, people have zero value to the Washtowel Slaveholdery aside what can be extracted from them, so the cost to them is zero if they go to a boasting session or out in field circus. And there is some potential benefit--zero cost with a positive benefit means they are going to push it on people.

  However, from our point of view, there is zero benefit of attending a boasting session or going out in field circus. Either there is no God (and hence no reward), God is malevolent and not deserving of any service (again, no reward), or God is benevolent and the Bible is correct but the witlesses are not abiding by it correctly (again, no reward). No matter how one chooses to believe, there is absolutely zero benefit from field circus or boasting session attendance (and it's even worse for those who believe that God is evil or non-existent). And there is a cost--you waste the time and energy to be there.

  Therefore, even for people in excellent health, they should not be going to boasting sessions or out in field circus. It is a fine waste of time. And that's regardless of God's existence or intent.
• 

  chellechelle

  the only thing is, which i feel really sad about, is that this has become their whole lives. living now in what could very well be the last of their years they want to believe as much as they can that the paradise is true. so they do as much as they can to get there. and it is true. i always heard at my meetings a brother say, look at these older ones what i fine example they are, never missing one meeting.

  i think this would make them want to, or feel obliged to continue in that role
• 

  sir82

  Have you noticed this trend in the witnesses ?

  Yep, these "iron lung" experiences are far more often discouraging and depressing for the r & f, instead of being encouraging.

  And the dimbulbs in Brooklyn can't figure out why there's so much depression in the congregations.
• 

  flipper

  WHITE DOVE- So I see you have a grandmother who wants to do more as well ! I don't mind if older people want to do more - just don't like elders guilting them into doing more. Especially when they are sick or feeble.

  WTWIZARD- I know what you are saying. To you and me there is no cost/benefit to what witnesses do. But to them they believe in the " fantasy paradise " so they think that by going to meetings they will get that alleged dream. Of course it's just a waste of time like you said. I agree.

  CHELLECHELLE- I have thought of that often with my parents. They have spent 58 years in a mind control cult, and for what ? To hope for a falsely promised paradise. Really sad. I feel for them.

  SIR82- Very true. By constantly sharing experiences of disabled and sick older ones being zealous - it actually depresses people more ! Good point
• 

  Scarred for life

  The last assembly my 85 year old aunt went to she had a stroke. She went in a car with at least 4 people, drove 3 hours, stayed in a cheap motel and drove back.

  Fortunately, the relatives that care for her have finally come to their senses and no longer take her to assemblies. I'm not even sure that she goes to meetings anymore. I have visited her 3 times in recent months and I haven't heard any mention of her going to meetings.
• 

  slimboyfat

  Flipper say to your mum that if the governing body can ditch the Book Study because of high fuel prices, (as stated in the letter sent to congregations) then surely she can miss some meetings if she is feeling too bad to go.
• 

  flipper

  SCARRED for LIFE - I am so sorry to hear your aunt had a stroke being crammed with 4 people in a car going to an assembly. I'm glad they have come to their senses and allowed her to see the need to stay at home for her health and not go to meetings anymore. It's too bad it took your aunt having a stroke to make them all come to their senses though . I hope she gets the rest she needs now.

  SLIMBOYFAT- Exactly, good point. If the GB can skip the book study due to high prices my mom should be able to miss meetings due to her health. I should tell her that
• 

  flipper

  Just wanted to bump this up if any had not read it. Any comments are appreciated Going to be working all night so thought I'd bump it. Thanks, Mr. Flipper