My Chat with My Older JW Mom about Missing Meetings due to Health

by flipper 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  boyzone

  I know where you're coming from Mr flipper. My parents are both elderly, dad 81, mum 75. Both are in poor health but dad is still a hard-hearted uber dub so feels the guilt pangs of missing meetings acutely. Thing is, he has cataracts and can't drive well in the dark. Since taking away the day group meeting (which they loved) he's had some very near misses trying to get to the evening meeting. Mum lost the sight in one eye 3 years ago due to an accident with a glass dish, so she can't drive anymore either.

  Mum's had cancer and has spent the last 6 months on chemo. Despite her weakened immune system she's continued to attend all the meetings cos of dad's "we must feed at Jehovah's table to keep you spiritualy strong" mentality. At times she was so sick that she couldn't go. Still, they patched through a phone line for her, so thats ok then

  I've tried to reason with them to take a more balanced attitude but to no avail. What is a shame is I can virtually see the fear in dad's eyes. As he feels the end of his days getting nearer he get more staunch and clings to the meetings all the more. Its as if he feels his everlasting life may be in jeopardy if he's not at the KH 24/7. Its so sad.
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  flipper

  BOYZONE- I'm so sorry your parents are SO mind controlled by the WT society that they feel guilty and virtually endanger their health and lives to get to meetings. It's good you try to reason with them about being balanced and you look after their health for them. It's almost like you have to do that ; as they won't see the importance of their health themselves. Meetings are more important to them. It is sad like you say. I wish you well with your parents ; keep watching out for them. Take care
• 

  snowbird

  I'm glad you bumped this, Mr. F.

  At one of my last assemblies, a dear, dear older sister was lamenting at how she seemed almost forgotten because she couldn't attend meetings much anymore.

  She listed all the things she did during her younger days: pioneering, BS at her house, always provided rooms and meals for CO & wife, etc. I can still recall the sadness in her voice. I gave her a hug and assured her that I still loved and valued her.

  I hate the way the org makes people feel so useless if they can't make meetings or knock on doors.

  Sylvia
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  flipper

  SNOWBIRD- Yeah, Sylvia - I hear what you are saying. How sad that this older sister who was SO zealous in her beliefs all those years is ignored and put in a corner like a piece of used furniture. It's disgusting how the WT society discards those of older age who are not " useful " to them anymore. Look what the WT society did to many middle aged workers at Bethel in the last few years letting them go and trying to cover the negative PR of it by saying these ex-Bethelites were being assigned to " greater needs " congregations.

  It is so good and loving of you that you hugged this sister and told her you loved and valued her. Right on ! That's what witnesses need to hear ; appreciation for who they are , not just what they do for a mind control cult. You did great sis ! Good for you
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  Scarred for life

  Hey Sylvia,

  This could have been my aunt. It sounds just like her. She lives in South Carolina. Do you know where this lady was from? If it wasn't my aunt, it was someone just like her. Unfortunately, I think this treatment of the elderly is pretty much the norm among the JWs.
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  flipper

  SCARRED for LIFE- Yes for sure, this is the treatment many older ones get in the witnesses. I hope your aunt is doing O.K
• 

  parakeet

  I regularly lecture my elderly JW parents about not going to meetings during flu season. So what do they do? They go to a meeting where a "loving" sister sits down next to them and then tries to cough up a lung for the next 2 hours.

  A week later, my parents are both sick. Who has to take care of them? Not that sister, no, no, no. It's their apostate children who must take the time and risk exposure themselves. My father nearly died of pneumonia twice in the past 5 years, so even a simple cold can be dangerous to him. They have the option of linking up with the meetings by phone, but only use it when they're actively ill.

  I've talked myself hoarse trying to get them to stay home more often, but it's no good. The dubs' hold over them is stronger than mine.
• 

  flipper

  PARAKEET- Your parents sound like my older JW parents - they'd practically go to the meeting as corpses if they could. It's ridiculous how much guilt they are made to have by the mind control of the witness cult. It's so good of you to keep taking care of them in spite of their " cult mental state " pushing them to sidestep their health. Keep looking out for them and watching over them. They can't help themselves