DID NOAH SUBCONTRACT TO BUILD THE ARK? (page 3)

Bendrr

Construction of the Ark took over 70 years, mostly due to the legal battles and financial difficulties.

Before construction even began, Noah faced repeated challenges to his zoning application by local residents opposed to "big box" ship-building as well as lawsuits filed by animal-rights activists claiming that the construction site was destroying the natural habitat of the kangaroo rat.

During most of the construction period, labor problems constantly plagued Noah's family business. Early on, workers unionized demanding higher wages, better retirement, and health insurance. About 10 years into the project, Noah was forced by King Carterchadnezzar's administration to provide set-aside contracts for minority subcontractors. This resulted in the union going on strike, protesting the loss of jobs to non-union workers.

As time went on and the ark construction's financial difficulties worsened, Noah and his sons asked for the first of many bailouts. Appearing before a Senate committee headed by Strom Thurmond, Noah warned of the importance of the ark to humanity given the threat of impending global climate change.

During the Great Recession of '29-'42, The Ark became a symbol of international controversy. Linked to the collapse of several banks, it received more bailouts under the outgoing administration of King Bushan of Ur, then received 710 billion shekels in the Stimulus Decree of King Barobama I. Critics such as the noted philosopher of the time, Rush Al-imbah, organized protests and petitioned the King to "let the Ark fail" and pointed out what they perceived as Noah's wasteful spending of bailout money on frivolities such as a large private zoo.

Finally the Ark construction went into bankruptcy protection, right as work was completed. Soldiers under King Barobama II attempted to seize the completed ark but according to documents uncovered by a Freedom of Information Act at Area 51, some sort of natural disaster occurred.

Last week, Citizens Against Government Waste uncovered an earmark of $10 billion in the Stimulus plan that continued funding construction of the very same Ark, although it is estimated that construction was completed over 5 thousand years ago. The earmark was placed in the bill by Senator Ted Kennedy, and represents an increase of 25% in funding that apparently has been provided since 1962.

badboy

INTERESTING,BENDRR

middleman

wow............

is there help out there

Did the subcontractor get a kick back.

shamus100

That lego stuff is from the Brick Testament. Lego made to bible themes - usually disturbing.

unclebruce

Hey I never made the brick testament

I've been posting it for years though .. sorry forgot to link.

The Brick Testament is a great tool for deprogramming one's bible indoctrination.

As accurate historic record, prophetic tool and moral guide, the bible condems itself as much as the watchtower does.

unc with too little time on his hands .. sheesh you guys should get out more.

RubaDub

In all likehood, yes.

Since to keep the cost down they used "undocumented" workers, you don't hear much about them in the Bible or elsewhere.

The same goes with those that entered into the Ark. We only read of Noah and his family.

However, there were undoubtedly many others (those who tended to the animals, scooped the poop, cooked, did the laundry, etc.) that are not mentioned since they were not legal. Noah could pay them cash under the table and save a lot of laborous and backbreaking work.

Rub a Dub

african GB Member

Did he build aquariums ( for both salt water and fresh water animals)?

How big were those aquariums, could they house whales?

african GB member

african GB Member

Did Noah really exist????

african GB member

zagor

I found this the other day ...

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The Lord spoke to Noah and said, ''In six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark.'' And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark. ''OK,'' Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, ''I'm your man.''

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.

''Noah!'' shouted the Lord, ''Where is My ark?'' A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.

''Lord, please forgive me!'' begged Noah. ''I did my best, but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's construction, but Your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a sprinkler system.

''My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning board.

Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls.

''Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind.

''Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the ark without filling out an environmental impact statement on Your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the Supreme Being. Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe!

''Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire. The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years.''

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. ''You mean you are not going to destroy the world?'' he asked hopefully.

''No,'' said the Lord. ''The government already has.''

DID NOAH SUBCONTRACT TO BUILD THE ARK?

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