In some ways I'm more open. I'm more likely to start a conversation with strangers. I'm not judgmental about people who are different than me. I don't judge myself as harshly as I used to. I know I'm a good person and I only have to live up too my own standards. I'm happier. I used to hate myself and wished I was never born or dead. I don't have the self hate anymore and I don't wish I was dead anymore.
In some ways I'm more closed off. I don't trust people most of the time. When I meet new people I hold parts of myself back. I have abandonment issues and I'm often convinced I'll die alone with no one to care that I'm gone. I have a hard time believing people when they say they like me or or love me. I very rarely make the first move in any kind of relationship. I'm a born loner who likes people but doesn't trust that they are genuine. I'm harder on the outside but a huge softy inside with trust issuse so I don't show much emotion or attachment easy. I don't cry. Some of this stuff is from my JW issues and new since I left. Some is not.