MIL shunning me.....

by AK - Jeff 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  BabaYaga

  Aw, AK Jeff, I am so very sorry to hear this. You don't deserve it, that's all I know.

  Love and strength to you.
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  shamus100

  I'm sorry for being so insensitive, Jeff.

  In my experience with these people, it's better to just write them off and if they change, be very suprised and happy. You can't expect too much from dubs that think you're the spawn of satan. I hope one day she will change.
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  AK - Jeff

  True, Shamus. I have written off most of them by now. Still, I thought that at least my MIL would show normal family kindness. I have done nothing to put myself in her presence, knowing it would make her uncomfortable. I suppose as she nears the inevitable, she is trying to convince Jehover that she is worthy of getting that 'rebirth ticket' to the New World.

  If Jehover really was God, I think He would be very unhappy with this lot.

  Jeff
• 

  troubled mind

  Jeff I'm sorry that your MIL is acting this way towards you . It does hurt . She may come back to her senses especially if you continue to show her kindness .

  Today I was thinking about how my in laws are acting towards us and what is the best way to respond to them . It is just so strange that they just can't come to us in a personal way and talk matters over in a rational way . Have they really forgotten all the kindnesses we have shown to them over the years ? How can they treat us now as if they hate us when all we have done is stop attending meetings ? I know they are suffering mind control ,but it is so hard to accept that they so easily have written us off ......
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  AK - Jeff

  TM, exactly.

  I recall many people being disfellowshipped in my tenure as a seasoned Jw. I don't recall any who DA'd, as far as I knew at least. But, I never 'wrote them off' as evil.

  I recall one man who had been close to our family as we began to 'accept the truth'. He was an elder at one point, but mostly a good friend. He was disfellowshipped early in my Jw career, and later became, quite by coincidence, my brother's Father-In-Law, due to marrying my brother's worldly wife's mother. [I know that is confusing. Sorry.] I would see him quite often when I went to visit my brother. On many occasions we just got in the car and went places together, though he had been df'd for years by this time. I would share conversation with him, and perhaps a beer. I occasionally felt a twinge of guilt over this - but I could not bring myself to treat a long time family friend as if he was spawn of Satan.

  In most every other respect, I was 100% solid Jw for all those years. But I just could not fully accept the need/benefit of constant unkindness to those we called friend one day, and then treated as 'dead' on the next because they were expelled for some 'sin'.

  I guess I was not quite as brainwashed as some Jw's in that regard. SO it makes it hard for me to understand such cruel actions.

  Jeff
• 

  crazycate

  I'm so sorry Jeff. They talk about walking in Christ's footsteps and then act like that! Like you, even when I was a hardcore believer, I had a hard time shunning people. It just didn't feel right.

  Cate
• 

  steve2

  I guess I was not quite as brainwashed as some Jw's in that regard. SO it makes it hard for me to understand such cruel actions

  Jeff, you express a valid point. There is vast variability in the ways JWs enact the Watchtower's policies. I think the key variable is personality or disposition. Some JWs find it extremely hard to completely shun former witnesses, whilst other JWs seem to relish the act of shunning. They "fine tune" the relevant body language and behave so over-the-top with their displays of shunning that it's laughable. But when cI see this behavior, it reflects more of their own disposition than anything else.

  I do have empathy for the kinder-minded JWs whose disposition is more inclined towards civility and respect. Yes, when I was a witness, I followed the rules and did not converse with disfellowshipped individuals, but I cannot recall ever pouting or sniffing the air in contempt as they walked past. I was always civil, even though I never engaged in a conversation. As they saying goes: Some people learn tolerance as they get older, whilst others learn intolerance.
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  ImFreeNow

  Jeff,

  Sorry to hear about this. My MIL & Mom do not shun us but the rest of the family members do on both sides. It is very tuff at times!
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  ImFreeNow

  I will email soon. Have been very busy. Hang in there friend!
• 

  Bodhisattva1320

  it's sad that someone so freakin' old would'nt be ready to admit we are all one and that we should just.. love.

  and also i agree w/ other posters, you don't deserve that kind of disrespect.