Talked with Old High School buddy after 30 years - I apologized

by flipper 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper
    flipper

    This was something I was wanting to do for a long time . I knew this friend as far back as elementary school, we played tennis together in high school , played music and sang together in his band a little. A very nice guy who I was close to until age 19. But because of my Jehovah's Witness upbringing it changed at 19.

    Long story short, although my witness parents allowed me to associate with this friend and other non-witness friends, in 1979, my then fanatic witness fiance laid the law down to me that we COULD NOT have any non-witness friends at our wedding. So 2 months after the wedding my good friend called me wanting to know why he wasn't invited to our wedding. I stumbled clumsily on my words and tried to explain that we were instructed by our witness religion to only associate with Jehovah's Witnesses and my wife felt that way as well - I was sorry but it was our belief. He just said, " Well, I'll see you when I see you. "

    I felt awful for years about this , and finally after being out of the witness cult for about 6 years I was determined to make amends . So I found his contact information and called him Sunday ! I apologized over how I had treated him 30 years ago and explained I was in a mind control cult that prevented us from socializing with non-witnesses. He was so understanding and happy to hear from me. He was surprised I had felt badly about it all this time and he easily forgave me - and we talked for 45 minutes about old times and childhood experiences just like old friends ! It was like we had never missed a beat !

    He shared with me that he still had the cassette recording of me singing with him and his music group the Led Zeppelin song " Kashmir " from 32 years before ! He said he always knew my family was totally absorbed in the witnesses , and he even remembered coming to my house on Halloween trick or treating and me giving him Awake and Watchtowers instead of candy at 8 years of age ! Crazy ! I explained how insane the witness cult was and that I was glad I got out ! We traded contact information, phone numbers, e-mails and are sending pictures of our wives, children, and family to catch up after 30 years !

    It's amazing to me how kind and accepting this friend is and how unconditional his caring is ! Much different from the witnesses ! He said he always thought of me over the years and how I was doing. I told him the same ! I am so happy and excited to have a childhood friend back ! It's amazing ! We will keep this friendship always now ! Have any of you experienced this reconnecting before after exiting the witnesses ? Look forward to your comments ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    Nice story, Mr. Flipper.

    I am happy for you.

    Maybe the telling of this will cause others to think back on friends they have let go because of the religion and make an effort to establish contact again.

    I know so many seem lost and alone in making the decision to get out of the cult.

    It might help to have an old friend to start their new circle of worldly friends.

    Good wishes to you and Mrs.

    Cameo-d

  • Nellie
    Nellie

    Congratulations Flipper. Glad to hear about your reconnection! In this age of Facebook and Myspace - it sure does make trying to find someone a lot easier. My personal experience is that I keep losing friends (of course they're all witnesses) - guess I should've had more non-witness friends back then.

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    That is good to hear, Mr. Flipper.

    I'm continuing to apologize for blowing off my friends during my JW days.

    In particular, I have to make amends to the chairperson of our high school reunion committee for declining to say the opening prayer at one of our meetings.

    Her hurt, puzzled look as I smugly informed her that "JW's don't engage in ecumenical activities" has haunted me the past 21 years!

    The last I heard of her was that she was living in Montgomery, Alabama. Looking her up and asking her forgiveness is high on my to-do list.

    What a fool I was!

    Sylvia

  • isaacaustin
    isaacaustin

    Awesome happenings flipper.

    "Those of the world" are so unlike how the WT paints them aren't they?

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    Mr. Flipper

    When I read this I was quite moved! To think that you had been obviously upset by not inviting such a good friend to your wedding all those years ago, and had always felt sad about it, really brings it home how much we were effected by being in such a cult!

    I am so glad that you have had the opportunity to make amends to your friend, and that he is so understanding about it.

    It is truly a wonderful gift to be free of the WT and able to feel and express genuine love for others, whatever they believe in.

    I have also been able to welcome someone back into my life who has held a place in my heart for the past 20 years. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

    Maddie

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    I'm glad you were able to patch it up. Isn't is amazing how quickly these horrible "worldly" people accept us back as friends no matter how badly we treated them when we were Witnesses.

  • megs
    megs

    Mr Flipper, that was one of the most lovely things I have read in a long time. Congratulations for settling a past wrong and reconnecting with an old friend!

  • cawshun
    cawshun

    Very happy to hear you made amends. It had to be a great feeling to restore this friendship.

  • crapola
    crapola

    That was such an inspirating story. I did kinda the same thing not long ago. I saw a friend in Walmart that has been DA'D for many years and of course I would avoid her if we met up. I ALWAYS hated donig that, so not long ago I ran into her again at Walmart and told her how sorry I was for shunning her all these years and now I realise how wrong that was. She was completley speechless. But also seemed very happy to talk to me. I felt SO GOOD doing that. So that tells us how wrong it is to avoid our friends just because they choose a different course from us.

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