Good on yer Magwich,
That "lost boring witness friends" struck home, Jeez, most of em could bore for Europe!
by the way,are you still hanging around in graveyards?
love
Wobble
What Were Your Consequences For Leaving The "Truth"???
by minimus 51 Replies latest jw friends
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truthsetsonefree
Same here as Magwitch. Except no love of my life YET! Otherwise, never been better. Dubs think that all the moral training drains out of your brain once you leave. Not so. I now have the freedom to truly practice moral living. I'm a more compassionate and loving human being. My co-workers often comment on the positive change. It amounts to this, if you are going to be immoral or ruin your life, the dubs can't stop you. They MAY delay it a little is all.
Isaac
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ziddina
minimus, I remember that talk! Usually given at Circuit or District Assemblies; young sister has doubts/dates non-JW/attends birthday celebration, then begins to drift out of "THE TRUTH". Ends up being shot in a drug raid in Los Angeles/Mexico/Bolivia while working as a prostitute/stripper/Catholic Social worker, which wouldn't have happened if she'd remained a JW, moved to Malawi and proven herself a loyal Witness for Jehovah by refusing to buy a party card....
"Witnesses try to scare you into believing how HORRIBLE your life will be if you ever leave..."
What a crock!! I remember thinking about that BS speech immediately as I was getting out, and recognizing it as nothing more than rabid fear-mongering to keep young people (especially!!! young people!) in the organization... In point of fact I met the nicest people out in the world (and yes, there was the occasional creepy to watch out for but hey! That's why we evolved a sixth sense, or at least street smarts, isn't it??), especially when I compared them to the scared-stiff, repressed JWs who were never fully genuine or truly happy!
Here's a little quote from a book I'm reading right now, about the WTBTS dependence (kind of sounds like a drug addiction, doesn't it?) on second- and third-generation JWs to increase their membership rolls. This is from the book, "Jehovah's Witnesses - Portrait of a contemporary religious movement" by Andrew Holden, published in 2002 by Routledge, of London and New York. In the chapter titled "Honour thy father and thy mother" under the subheading "The ones who say 'no'", starting on page #140:
"Continued membership of a totalitarian organization is never unconditional.... Communities like this are dependent on those born into them for long-term survival. The movement owes much of its success to horizontal and vertical recruitment. Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces, cousins, in-laws, grandparents and grandchildren are all prime candidates for baptism - a rite of passage that boosts the Society's membership. Were it not for the significance of kinship, the Witnesses would not have had nearly the amount of success they have either in recruitment or in sustaining high levels of commitment..."
[Obviously the WTBTS is FULLY AWARE of this factor in their membership increases. Yet another reason for the Society to continue the 'shunning' aka 'disfellowshipment' practices as they are in place now. I heard some rumor about the WTBTS re-naming it?? But the practice serves to hold families as spiritual hostages in order to ensure compliance of critics, dissenters and potential deserters presently on the edges of the Society, and to bring many back into the spiritual fold who would otherwise be unwilling to continue membership in the organization - witness the number of posts about the Memorial in which people attend in order to avoid being cut off from or disrupting families.]
The author continues: "In a world in which people are allegedly free to choose from a whole range of options, children's acquiescence matters to the Society as never before... Beckford, J.A. (1975a; The Trumpet of Prophecy: a Sociological Study of Jehovah's Witnesses, Oxford: Basil Blackwell) discovered that around two-thirds of second-generation Witnesses over sixteen remained active members. This was also borne out in the General Social Survey of 1994 that showed a retention rate of around 70 percent.... At the macro level, the Governing Body has a responsibility to ensure that parents in every congregation are supported to the nth degree...because it must consider long-term survival. So long as children toe the line, all will be well; but those who break away from the movement do damage to its membership statistics. Children are the movement's bread and butter."
Well, yeah, I guess everyone here knows that?? But it felt good to post it, especially as researched by a social scientist, not just a group of ex-members reporting on anecdotal evidence.
"It`s not the outside world that makes you suffer,or trys to ruin your life when you leave the WBT$.....It`s the WTB$ and thier Brain Dead Cult,the Jehovah`s Witness`s that try to punish you for leaving.....The outside world is a paradise,compared to the Shit Hole the WBT$ provides" Right On, OutLaw!!
But I sure wish there was some way to create an "Underground Railroad" for other kids trapped in the religion. They have been stripped of their freedom of choice; enslaved while living within democracies (in many European and North American governments). I've been thinking about that a lot. I realized after I left (as Mouthy put it) "The Lie" that if I'd contacted my non-believing aunts and uncles I may have been able to negotiate some 'away' time from the family - maybe even gotten a court-mandated order that I be removed from the JW family and placed with an aunt and uncle who almost adopted me shortly after I was born - trouble was, the courts weren't aware of child battering and abuse at that time (late '50' - early '60's) - most of that info became publicly available when I was in my 30's - way too late for me. Any ideas on how to get info to kids that may want to get out?? The author of "I'm Perfect - You're Doomed" - as I read her book I kept thinking that if she'd had outside support, alternative resources, a non-believing aunt/cousin/uncle/grandparent she could have at least avoided the JW marriage, and some of the other misery she went through...
I'm babbling again. Any ideas?? Zid
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jws
Was it as bad as everyone says, that if you leave The Organization, you'll go back to the world, get into trouble and suffer?
Even before I left or before I even intended to leave the JWs, I was doing most of the "bad things" they think all the ex-JWs are into. It's just part of turning 18 and wanting to try it all.
I can't say I really suffered. I had true friends to replace the ones at the KH. I faded so I still had my family.
In fact, I was much happier. I had tuesdays, thursdays, and the weekends to do whatever I wanted. I didn't have to worry about what my reputation in the hall was.
Most of all, it was the freedom to think for yourself. By the time I left, I had my own moral compass about what was good and what was bad. When you have thought things over and judged them good or bad for yourself and you have proven to yourself why, you are free. You aren't worrying about whether you're following the list of rules somebody else has given you. I was free of all of the silly prohibitions. It boiled down to the basic principle of "don't hurt anybody (unless they want you to and give you a 'safe word')". And it was up to me to decide how that applied to each unique situation. That mental freedom was incredible and makes life so much better.
So sure, I may have done some things that JWs would consider "getting into trouble". But nobody was hurt, nobody suffered, and my mind doesn't feel guilty about it.
Unlike my two JW sisters who married at 18 to JW guys (who have been assholes at times), my brother and I waited until about 30. We both married "worldly" girls who are both great and are both smart. We each have good jobs and are more successful than our JW brother-in-laws. We have great kids. And while it's way to early to tell how our kids will turn out, both of my JW sisters had their girls (raised JW) get pregnant before getting married.
We're not what the JWs portray of ex-JWs. You'd expect us to be addicted to herion or all miserable, sitting around thinking about the good old days as a JW.
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apocryphal22
I lost everything.
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no more kool aid
I feel almost like a patriot, willing to give it all up for freedom. Thankfully I still have my immediate family, some are not so lucky. I am willing to give up the rest. No, I am not on drugs or prostituting myself .
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coffee_black
After all the dust settled.... a much better life in every way. My children and grandchildren are free.
Coffee
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strawberry cake
I got shunned by most of my 'friends.' The elders tried to get my sons to shun me, but it didn't work. 2 no longer go and 1 is only going to hold on to friends. He also has non- JW friends.
I got shunned at the school where I work by an ex pioneer partner. Interestingly she had'new light' and started to talk to me after the Head Teacher gave her a warning, (as I threatened to sue her for religious discrimination.) I was quite surprised when she walked up to me and sat down. She accused me of trying to initiate conversation with her. I said, no, I was just saying goodmorning. I explained that the brainwashing was interpretting my goodmorning as a wicked apostate trick to take her from Jehovah. I told her that I am not under the WT any more so will not be shuffling around with my head down. She started wining on about how hard this all was for HER!
She hadn't spoken to me for about a year. Point blank, refusing to say goodmorning or to respond to my greetings. She would actually greet the person sitting next to me and ignore me. She was absolutely bare faced. Now she's back peddling, desparate to prove to staff at work that she is not a religious biggot. She hadn't realized that I had told everyone at work what she was doing.
I also reported a JW supply teacher who came once a week to teach. I knew her and said hi but she totally blanked me. The Head Teacher decided not to ask her back.
I may get shunned outside, but I won't tolerate it at my place of work.
SC
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moshe
My JW wife df'd me- which turned out to be a good thing. I wouldn't have the terrific wife and daughter I have now, if my ex hadn't taken sides with the elders and the WT goons in Brooklyn who were against me. Everything turned out just like I told her it would. The elders and the friends in the KH all turned against her after she had gotten rid of her apostate husband. When she needed help they told her to go to Caesar for help. When the KH kids refused to associate with my kids, because they might be tainted from visits with their df'd father it proved to them that dad was right about the witnesses all along. Everyone who thinks they can leave the KH without paying any price is deluding themselves.
You reap what you sow. Take your lumps and get on with your life folks.
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ziddina
Awww, apocryphal22, I'm awfully sorry to hear that!! Have you been able to rebuild your life yet, or has this just happened??? My immediate family are still JWs, but they were vicious to me so I was glad that they weren't allowed to talk to me after I left!! In fact, Mommie Dearest still tries to contact me by sending me a card each year around my birthday - I've considered saving up the cards and taking them to the elders in their congregation and showing them that Mumsy and Daddsy are attempting to associate with an 'apostate' - and get them disfellowshipped! But then I'd have to talk to them again....
I just decided to 'adopt' a surrogate mother, a surrogate father, and so on! I've found the 'worldly' people to be (in general) much nicer than the JWs, even - or perhaps that should be especially- nicer than my own family! Please don't give up!! Zid
Oh, strawberry cake - Right On! Shunning may be needed while in the Kingdom Hall, but doing it at a place of business is downright unprofessional!!! Not to mention that it makes them look very weird and strange...