Aw Cal...Im so sorry for your loss. I too, love God, and have totally turned myself off of ALL religions because in my opinion, they dont have a CLUE who God really is, and Im not saying that I now DO...Im saying he cannot be defined within the confines of some dogma or within pages of a book, or walls of a building, or in repetitive prayer and supplication.
But I believe in Him now more than I ever did as a JW. Odd thing that.