Scully,
If a JW relative's association with me has more to do with what the WTS's doctrine du jour says they can or cannot do than their familial relationship with me, then they can go f*ck themselves. I don't need that toxic bull$h!t in my life.
The purpose of my post was not to elicite ex-JWs to do anything ... it was about WTS double speak ... and your attitude toward your family is what it is.
My response:
Fine ... but some actually give a damn about their family, and may want to find a way to get through to them without imposing such standards as you defined that their family is unaware of ... and this perhaps is one way. Also, the main point of my post is not to deal with emotional blackmail ... but to highlight Watchtower hypocrisy and double-speak.
We both know that JW friends and relatives are acting out what they believe ... they would turn around in a heartbeat if their beliefs changed. So, I took your comments to be rather harsh ... but nothing in my response demands an apology to you.
"Don't get me wrong, Jim. I "give a damn" about my family. I'm just sick and tired of being jacked around by them in on-again-off-again relationships, without advance warning. They lie to cover their tracks by saying they "deleted their facebook/myspace/yahoo profile" when I have evidence that they simply changed their privacy settings. They *KNOW* they can have a relationship with me. The male parties in my family are Elders™ and have their very own copies of The Flock book. They actually have Spirit Directed™ permission to associate with me and even have "spiritual conversations" with me due to their status as Elders™. They have relationships with other family members and non-family members who are either DFd, DAd, brought up JW and did not commit to baptism. They just enjoy the bullying and the ability to pick and choose how to apply the "rules" and to whom to apply the "rules"."
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Shame on them for doing that to you ... I was good freinds with a ex-JW couple who were DF'd, and their relatives would associate with them on and off again, depending on whether the policy WTS would relax or tighten up. Eventually, the couple ended up returning to the organization, and now shun me totally. Go figure.
"I'm sorry you disagree with my "standards", Jim, however I am finally choosing what is in my best interests after over a decade's worth of trying to be kind and "the better person" toward my JW relatives, while walking on eggshells to "respect" and avoid offending their JW sensitivities. I'm not about to let anyone abuse me that way again."
I did not disagree or agree with your standard(s). Perhaps it would have been better of me to say that some are not, or do not feel blackmailed and feel that they have a shot at getting through to their families. Some have not given up yet. Each person has to decide for themselves. I really do not have any concern as to what you or anyone else does. My post was done for the stated purpose, and not to tell anyone what to do or how to feel.
"My point is that sometimes it is necessary to let go of the fantasy that one can have a peachy relationship with JW relatives. Life is too short to coddle irrational people following irrational rules supplied to them by an imaginary authority figure. When I think about how I've been humiliated and interrogated by the relatives in question and revealed very private information about the JW who molested me and the molestation, so that they could "justify" associating with me, only to have them do an about-face and treat me like a DFd person (even though I am not a DFd or DAd person) I feel totally betrayed by these people and want absolutely nothing to do with them."
That is understandable ... and how you feel and react to them is your own business.
"They owe me an apology, and so do you, Jim."
No, nothing in my comments requires an apology to you. I am sorry if we misunderstood one another and it led to upsetting you. Nothing in my words attacked you or your standards. I opened to you by saying "Fine ..." an expression that acknowledged your right and business to act as you wish. Others have the right and it is their business to act the same as you or to choose something different for themselves according to their own circumstances.
I too have been abused and mistreated in many ways by JWs and non-JWs. Many people that have come in and out of my life have expected me to act or conduct myself to please them ... and I no longer feel obligated to do so if I do not honestlky feel that I should. - 