Need advice, they are trying to suck me in!

by Searchinggal 49 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  independent_tre

  Undercover wrote: The more she becomes ingrained back into the JW faith, the more that she will view you as "worldly", a term they use to classify all non-JWs as something undesirable. That's why she's trying so hard to get you to join. She wants to keep you as a best friend, but she needs to be faithful to the religion.

  This is it in a nutshell; yes, she may fear 'losing you' at armageddon, but her biggest fear is losing you right now. She wants to have her cake and eat it to, and the only way she can do this is to get you to become a JW or at least a 'serious study' . Trust me, she's already counting the time over the past 8 months, and now she needs to show proof of you 'progressing' in order to keep hanging out with you. It's a trap.

  My advice, slowly get used to the idea that she probably won't be friends with you. You don't have to rip the bandaid off all at once, but it's a good idea to prepare yourself for this mentally. The only other ways out of this is if you become a dub yourself or she leaves the cult.
• 

  Heaven

  how do I stay her good friend without becoming a JW?

  Ask her.

  I'm with Gary on this. These are her issues, not yours.

  As for her fear that you won't make it through Armageddon, you can use the statement my parents' used to assure me:

  "You don't have to worry. Jehovah can see what is in my heart."
• 

  carla

  Here is a board that is mainly doctrinal/biblical based and you can see how the jw's will answer before you get into it with them.

  http://www.christiandiscussionforums.org/v/forumdisplay.php?f=28 -- CARM

  http://community.beliefnet.com/go/forum/view/34789/70819/ -- Beliefnet jw discussion

  We have posters from here on both boards above, Beliefnet drives me nuts because of a poster named Older who was on a kick about Constantine, everything led back to Constantine or Older answered everything with 'we don't go to war' blah, blah blah. Anyway, you can see the jw viewpoint ahead of time. Be warned, jw's claim 'unity' however, I have never seen this unity they speak of. They all seem to have their own twisted take on jw doctrine or maybe they didn't get the newlight memo? They can parrot what they are supposed to out of the wt's but ask them a question in a different way or try to delve deeper in the subject historically or such and they must get back to you on that....

  Scriptural volleyball is not effective in my opinion.
• 

  reniaa

  Searchinggirl you have two sides of the coin so be careful, this is an anti-witness site it will give you worst case scenario for your friendship and anti-Jw outlook every-time, You agreed to have a study so your friend thinks your interested and only need to show you that they are true biblically. Your constant questioning is reafirming this.

  But from what you have said it's sound like you only accepted the study because you wanted to please your friend but now you must be honest and say your not ready for this commitment and ask to stay friends. Honesty is the best policy. As Jws we can have friends with non-witnesses so don't expect the worst and don't act assuming it, if you withdraw from her first she will read it as you not wanting to be a friend to her because she is a witness. You may go through a period of hurt on both sides or maybe your friendship will stay strong but trying to second guess it will only make you act premptively which could send wrong messages. Also this site will teach you to despise her for being a witness since most feel exactly that way on here about witnesses. We shouldn't despise anyone for what religion they have it is upto God through his son Jesus to Judge all religions and people's when the time has come.

  take care

  Reniaa

  I myself am returning because I think it is true biblically.

  You must decide for yourself! going into any religion for the wrong reasons is a mistake and will not lead to a lasting faith.

  Matthew 13:6 (New International Version)

  6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.
• 

  quietlyleaving

  Matthew 13:6 (New International Version) 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.

  reniaa

  praise be for small mercies

  ql of the rootless and withered but still growing class - must be holy spirit

  edit: welcome searchingirl
• 

  isaacaustin

  Searchinggirl you have two sides of the coin so be careful, this is an anti-witness site it will give you worst case scenario for your friendship and anti-Jw outlook every-time,

  My reply: This is not an anti-witness site persay. It is a forum with a variety of indivuduals who have been involved in the organization in some way and share their honest experiences in the org. The WT is like a car dealer that tells its customers not to talk to any of their former customers, but rather only those on a list given by that dealer. You owe it to yourself to hear the experiences of us and why weleft. People have left for different reasons.

  You agreed to have a study so your friend thinks your interested and only need to show you that they are true biblically. Your constant questioning is reafirming this.

  My reply: The NWt is quite a biased translation and the WT is master of out-of-context Bible verses. Please feel free to PM me with any questions or points they make to you that seem different from what you are used to- chances are they are nont Biblical.

  But from what you have said it's sound like you only accepted the study because you wanted to please your friend but now you must be honest and say your not ready for this commitment and ask to stay friends. Honesty is the best policy. As Jws we can have friends with non-witnesses so don't expect the worst and don't act assuming it, if you withdraw from her first she will read it as you not wanting to be a friend to her because she is a witness.

  My reply: That part about Witnesses maintaining friendships with nonJWs is simply inaccurate/untrue. They may maintain a superficial friendship with you (possibly not)...but the intent will always be to convert you. They will not simply like you for you.

  You may go through a period of hurt on both sides or maybe your friendship will stay strong but trying to second guess it will only make you act premptively which could send wrong messages. Also this site will teach you to despise her for being a witness since most feel exactly that way on here about witnesses. We shouldn't despise anyone for what religion they have it is upto God through his son Jesus to Judge all religions and people's when the time has come.

  take care

  Reniaa

  I myself am returning because I think it is true biblically.

  My reply: Reniaa, you have never been able to take off those WT glasses. Thus the Wt will always be true to you.

  You must decide for yourself! going into any religion for the wrong reasons is a mistake and will not lead to a lasting faith.

  Matthew 13:6 (New International Version)

  6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.

  My reply: Relgion and faith are not synonomous.
• 

  isaacaustin

  searchinggal check your pm :)
• 

  Ancientofdays

  She has a Product , and you are the target consumer.

  Friendship with you is just one Product attribute , to increase the appeal.
  I know this sound horribile, but this is the way JWs mind works.

  I think she's now daydreaming about you in the "Truth", and she telling your story as an "experience" in a Circuit Assembly ...

  They're very nice people, but Organization teachings lead them to a kind of mental insanity.
• 

  jwfacts

  You are correct to say that arguing doctrine is not going to get anywhere. People belong to high control religions not for the doctrine despite what they may say, but because of the higher purpose that they feel it gives them. A couple of articles that may help you understand the fundamental core to why the Watchtower Society is incorrect to say they along are acceptable to God and the manipulative techniques they use to enforce this belief are http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/5min.htm and http://www.jwfacts.com/index_files/mindcontrol.htm

  You need to be careful how you approach this. If you get upset by what you learn about the Watchtower Society you risk becoming emotional regarding this topic with her and loosing a friend. It is possible to walk away from the bible study and retain the friendship, but it will not be the same as in the past if she becomes very devoted.
• 

  WTWizard

  Try starting a study with a mainstream religion, such as the First Bible Baptists, alongside the witlesses. Mention that you are studying another religion to compare the two side by side (it should be any mainstream Christian religion--cults and Islam religions will not give you the best comparison). You might even want to acquire books on several different religions within the Christian faith, preferably one Catholic and two or three different Protestant denominations and compare all of what is written in each one of them. Then, go back and see if you are being told the truth about all those other religions.