You are making a decision to return? By reading your post I can tell you never really left.
If the witnesses are your spiritual path, I wish you well. I hope you find all that you need to draw closer to God.
Change of Heart
by evergreen 33 Replies latest jw friends
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OnTheWayOut
I find it best to look at my own changes over time, so I thought I would put your biography up for you to ponder over.
Biography: Spent 12 or so years as a J Dub ( M S for 8 Years) .Always had nagging doubts, but wasnt untill i had marriage problems that i took that giant step forward and decided to read Letters over the net that a "Brother" sent to the society questioning the 607 bce date ( Only reason i read it was the person who wrote these letters was still a brother, otherwise i wouldnt have read further).
Shocked and very curious i was glued to the net.I also read the Ray Franzes book Crisis of conscience which simply blew me away. The rest is history. I am now in a state of limbo as to what to do next. Over the last number of years i have faded into the background only occassionally going to the meetings. Reason being i have a number of relatives in the ORG.
Still doing a lot of research about the societys history so that i can be left with no doubt that this is not Gods organisation.
On the other hand i am also searching for God.Good luck overcoming those nagging doubts and putting what you read in CRISIS behind you. It is fine to decide to go back for relatives and to pretend for them, but it would be necessary to admit it to yourself or else you could go bonkers trying to fit back in at the meetings.
Did you ever do the research to be "left with no doubt that this is not Gods organisation" ?
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snowbird
You don't think swine flu and the global economic meltdown would have anything to do with your decision, do you?
I certainly sense it in the JW's around here!
May the Holy One bless and keep you.
Sylvia
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journey-on
If you have prayed correctly, then, indeed, listen to your heart with hearing ears. Perhaps you are being guided back in for good, or, just temporarily to help you understand something, or to help someone else see with seeing eyes. Stay awake and continue to pray that His will be done in your life.
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evergreen
Thanks to everyone who replied to my thread, whether positive or negative. I fully understand why many of you have said the things you have said. My form of worship is to worship God in spirit and truth (not to worship according to mens teachings). Yes I want to be honest, but not go back simply to set myself up to be disfellowshipped. I will be keeping certain views to myself that I simply dont agree with. Yes this will be difficult, especially when speaking to others about certain points. But change will come, if not in this age, definately in the new age.
I think your point sad emo probably reflects very much the path I have decided to take and thankyou for pointing out that wonderful scripture (I have noted it down). Admittedly I will find it difficult; but for very personal reasons, I have decided to choose this path. Most of all I feel very very close to God right now and really hope to maintain that close relationship with him untill the time when all things will be straightened out (ie pure worship without errors or wrong teachings of men); and that is going to happen soon, I fully believe this.
The reason why I used the 1 in 3 chance scenario was to hit home that there is the hope of everlasting life. We are imperfect human beings and therefore nothing can be certain in this age. But the hope is that we may have the possibility of living forever in the world that Gods inspired word promises.
Evergreen
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Narkissos
evergreen,
I read your post and referred to it (not really a comment, rather a personal experience it reminded me) on another thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/174703/1/Why-the-sudden-change-of-heart
It doesn't relate much to the hope thing though. When I finally left the Watchtower I had to admit to myself that I had never really cared much for that. And I was never a "wager" kind of believer (incidentally Pascal wasn't either).
But I do believe in some "honesty to self" which can be more complex than mere agreement on doctrine. So from this perspective I understand and respect your move.
I wish you the best.
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moshe
Dumb horses often run back into a burning barn after being led to safety by the farmer. The Watchtower Society has bloodguilt over it's organ transplant ban and their policy reversal in 1980. They have the bloodguilt for their false blood transfusion dogmas, too. Go ahead an return to the KH and hope for paradise all you want, all this wasted work at the KH keeps you from doing something worthwhile, like volunteering in a soup kitchen, doing a charity walk, volunterring at a hosital or nursing home, etc. If you really believe in your Jehovah, then you will have to share in the punishment that Jehovah will mete out to the Watchtower org for it's bloodguilt and lack of public charities which caused needless human suffering, all the while the Watchtower org kept a billion dollars worth of property and assets.
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Vinny
Evergreen Writes:
"I will be keeping certain views to myself that I simply dont agree with. Yes this will be difficult, especially when speaking to others about certain points."
**** Not only must you ACCEPT beliefs and teachings (or "certain points" as you say), that you do not agree with here, but you must be willing to go even further and PROMOTE to others these same beliefs and teachings that you say you do not agree with.
Now who in his or her right mind can do that?
Tell me, for example Evergreen, how do you avoid the JWblood policy where JW's will often have to die rather than accept a transfusion? Is this possibility okay with you?
How about this real life account:
Are you willing to push this policy on strangers and their children as well, Evergreen? You need to answer this one honestly.
When you knock on a door, and start that JW bible study program; what do you say about this horrendous teaching (enforced through extreme shunning and loss of everything you know), about the JW blood policy when this subject comes up? And it will come up with a new person.
You see, you MUST not only accept these bad policies, but even promote these bad beliefs and practices to others. And if you think you can just skip a subject altogether during your JW bible studies, then think again; Remember, three elders will have a over a hundred questions they will ask including very specific ones on the JW blood policy (among many other subjects) to make sure they get it, accept it and are willing to promote it and possibly even die for it.
Is this okay with you Evergreen?
This same enforcement program applies to numerous other subjects that you also may not agree with. Shunning for example. You, Evergreen, must be willing to TEACH OTHERS that they too will have to cut-off anybody that has been baptized but then becomes no longer a JW, for whatever reasons. And this would include their/your immediate family. Is this okay with you Evergreen?
Do you tell these bible studies, your friends and family that the JW faith was WRONG on all those false dates and predictions in writing, wrong on vaccinations, organ transplants, Beth Sarim, alternative service, rape rules, sex with animals or homosexuality not breaking the marriage ties, along with literally many hundreds of other things they got wrong? What do you say Evergreen?
Do you tell them, or just close your eyes to these fact of life realities? Please tell us. Here take a LOOK:
http://www1.tip.nl/~t661020/wtcitaten/part2.htm
Why not tell us here just what things you personally disagree with. And let's see what you are really willing to do to live this sort of dishonest kind of life as a JW.
I could have stayed in as well. I could have enjoyed the association, the goody nights (though no more book studies at people's homes so no more goody nights). I could have just gone with the flow since my entire family were active Witnesses.
But you see Evergreen, I could not live a lie like this. I could not teach things that I knew were WRONG. I could not force bad policies on strangers and their families and young children.
It was not easy leaving what I had put the past 18 years of my life into. I was even an elder and very much respected. But for me, it was the only thing I honestly could do. And it was the right thing to do.
If you go back, how do you deal with these things that you say you do not agree with? These bad policies that are enforced by JW's today? I'm curious to hear what you have to say.
Thanks for the open dialogue.
Vinny
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Vinny
I just read your PM Evergreen. I read it after my post above even though you sent it much sooner. (Unfortunately there is no way to know we have a PM, nowadays, without checking, which is often time wasting (hint hint Simon).....
Anyway, the fact that you disagree with so many teachings, as stated in that PM Evergreen, is where I see this going back thing will be one tough road ahead for you.
It would almost make more sense if you supported the entire range of JW beliefs than to go back knowingly disagreeing with so much of it.
How do you go about dealing with these many issues that you think are wrong when it comes to other people? Will you feel guilty when others you bring into the religion have to suffer consequences for these teachings that you already disagree with?
I hope you think that part of all this through and can share your thoughts about these specific problems here. By going back you'll be promoting policies that you currently do not support and even disagree with. That's one tough deal to have to swallow for most folks.
Take care,
Vinny
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gubberningbody
The simple truth is that I had to leave this organization because they were saying terrible things about my father Jehovah. I can't overlook the constant barrage of terrible things they are tacitly saying about him and I can't in good conscience pretend that I agree with them. I can't be a hypocrite. Now if they were to have allowed me to stay and speak my mind without sanction, then I'd be there today stirring things up with the Bible as my witness, but as they are turning their ear from hearing the law, well, you know the scripture - the prayers of such ones are not listened to.