by minimus 35 Replies latest jw friends
Instead of castigating a person for being tardy for a meeting, I began to commend them for their efforts to be there in the first place.
Positive reinforcement can motivate a person, where negative comments only serve to break their spirit over time.
W
Shut up, FF.
Shut up, FF.
Ain't gonna happen. I'm in a good mood, thanks to Ninja and his excellent taste in Scotch whiskey.
W
Drunk so early? Well, it is after 12.
Well, I've been sick all week so I'm ummmmmmm.... medicating! Yeah, that's it! Medicating...
W
I have had the best of Elders and the most pitiful of Elders.
I have only seen two types of 'jerks'...... the man who feels insecure and the man who feels entitled. Often most started off as the first and became the latter. They are Elders to make themselves feel better, not for the purpose of shepherding.
It is all about motivation, why is the man seeking or accepting the position of Elder.
Since we live in a paternal society I have always accepted a level of male domination, and most times am quite happy to let 'yall' run things. The problem always lies in viewing the privilege of power as an entitlement of power...... that and not accepting their own errors, offering appologies and making attonments.
You cannot be a company man and a shepherd...... that is like serving two masters.
For you good Elders .... thanks for trying
For you naughty Elders..... repent and make amends
I have had the best of Elders and the most pitiful of Elders.
I have only seen two types of 'jerks'...... the man who feels insecure and the man who feels entitled. Often most started off as the first and became the latter. They are Elders to make themselves feel better, not for the purpose of shepherding.
It is all about motivation, why is the man seeking or accepting the position of Elder.
Since we live in a paternal society I have always accepted a level of male domination, and most times am quite happy to let 'yall' run things. The problem always lies in viewing the privilege of power as an entitlement of power...... that and not accepting their own errors, offering appologies and making attonments.
You cannot be a company man and a shepherd...... that is like serving two masters.
For you good Elders .... thanks for trying
For you naughty Elders..... repent and make amends
In Watchtowerland, women are subpar and being an elder is being the top dog. And they use the Bible to say it's all ok.
MINIMUS - Like you I was a born-in second generation witness. My mom and dad came into the witnesses in 1951- 8 years before I was born. So by the time I was born my dad had been an elder for 5 years already. My older brother was in Bethel 8 years and appointed an elder in 1972 at age 25. Both he and my dad are STILL elders at age 61 ( brother ) and age 83 ( my dad ). So having come from a very well known alegedly " spiritually " prominent family - it was expected of me ( like yourself ) to reach out to become an elder in time. I put a lot of pressure on myself to live up to what " older brother accomplished " or my dad had accomplished. I played the game for awhile putting pressure on myself to " perform " and " excel " . I became a ministerial servant at age 20 and gave public talks , assembly parts , regular pioneered for 3 years until age 26 . They had me on the fast track to become elder before age 30. But I started seeing the injustices you mentioned , the lack of love being shown, and how many elders who my dad knew and I knew held themselves above their brothers and sisters. So in 1986 I stepped down as a MS as I had a newly born son who neede my time more than people in the congregation . Then within 2 years my 2 daughters were born and I never reached out again . They needed my time more than others at a kingdom hall.
Yet from the late 1980's until 2003 when I finally left the JW cult for good - after stopping reaching out for MS or elder - I was made to feel like I didn't count as a brother in the congregation. It's very true what some stated here that if you are a brother and fail to reach out for MS or elder you are looked at as a loser . And that is the truth. It wasn't until I was in my early 40's that I stopped putting pressure on myself as my dear witness mom ( not as mind controlled as the rest ) told me that Jehovah loved me no matter what my position was . That helped me to accept myself as I was and that I could accomplish a lot NOT being an elder. So the elder / position thing did sour me - I admit that.
And - I got soured even further when I saw not only others abused by elders , but myself as well. ALL TIME JEFF stated, " elders are NOT free to do and teach as they want. " I disagree. I saw and witnessed many an occasion where elders shot counsel off the hip in giving their own personal opinions to the brothers and sisters - claiming their counsel was from the WT society and it was not AT ALL ! I even would research what they were counseling me - and it went straight against what the socities own publications said ! What led me to leaving the witness cult was elders counseling me to take back a non-witness wife who was a dangerous methamphetamine drug abuser ! The P.O. told me to have my witness daughters visit me in a neutral location like a park if it made my druggie wife uncomfortable to have them visit my home ! That caused me to realize they didn't care one bit about my daughters - just how it looked to save the marriage to the public at the expense of my daughters safety and welfare ! So after meeting with me in a back room about this before a meeting - I went straight to my seat, picked up my books and walked out of the kingdom hall and never went back ! That was almost 6 years ago . I still hear horror stories from others being abused as well.
But I understand elders are abused by the WT society. Perhaps they are taking THEIR frustrations out on the rank and file members. Who knows ? But it's definitely a situation that goes on unchecked for sure and hurts both members and elders alike
