Armageddon came invisibly and guess what happened to JWN

rebel8

Welcome back, cognac and Gregor

I'm afraid you're a little too late. Armageddon has come, invisibly of course.

The Society has made a few changes to the leadership structure. There are now ministers like regular governments.

Simon repented at the last moment and now this is a jw-only forum. Threads now must begin with a prayer and end with lyrics to Kingdom Melodies. Simon has been appointed Minister of the Internet.

Minimus is Theocratic Garment Minister and he's implemented a no-panty-hose rule. The brothers are imploring him to lift the tie requirement but he insists only ministers can go tie-free.

Outlaw is Literature Minister and also actually writes the literature. Now the magazines have no articles--just jokes that always end in ....................LOL! and a laughing lion (it's new pet now that his dog committed loose conduct with Outlaw's left leg and was killed by lightning during Armageddon).

John Doe is Submission Minister and has been going around demoting all the male ministers and is planning on promoting a bunch of women to high-level posts. He is even planning on demoting himself, he's so submissive.

Badboy was offered a post as Special Assistant to Noah since the old guy has been resurrected. Word has it that badboy did not fare too well during his first performance evaluation. Noah complained badboy asks too many questions of him.

Scully is now Surgeon General and conducts daily blood donation drives. She keeps telling the sisters to go to nursing school so they could earn more money, but they don't listen.

Snowbird and John Doe keep getting in trouble for goofing off on the job. They are often found playing country music on the banjo, among the fig trees. The pet wolves really hate the banjo and howl a lot.

Warlock, witness007, and BurnTheShips are inconsolable since they found out George Bush wasn't resurrected. Jehovah is punishing them by making them build the glaciers back up after they melted, one ice cube at a time.

On a personal level, Carla and jgnat's husbands have repented and are busy with preparations for Christmas. Elsewhere and Snakes are now quite the ladies' men-all those resurrected hotties are after them. I saw Snakes heading into an alley with Leah and heard some moaning afterwards. I wonder what that was all about. Oh, and LouBelle actually did marry King David.

What did I forget?