My JW Daughter sends a Letter to us Explaining her Shunning of Me

by flipper 81 Replies latest jw friends

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Flipper,

    I am really sorry. At least she did send you a very nice letter. I don't think it could have been any nicer. You are very wise to look at Steve Hassan's book before replying. I believe it is POSSIBLE that you could get through to her eventually.

    Maybe if you could talk about your own personal experiences of becoming a witness and what made you start having doubts......... I don't know. It just always seems to be a good idea to speak straight from the heart and you r own personal journey.

  • flipper
    flipper

    MEGAFLOWER- Thanks. You are right- my daughter was kind in the letter, just mind controlled. So like you said I should research Hassan's books a little deeper and my wife and I think carefully on his information before responding to her in a letter. I will keep you and others posted.

    ALAMB- Thanks, I appreciate it.

    MOUTHY- I think that is brilliant advice you give ! I think my wife and I will definitely follow it. Keep it loving and nice, respectful and not too long. I too feel the less my wife and I complicate matters ; the better.

    QUANDRY- Yes- She is a model witness you might say- and she knows how to communicate. I'm hoping Hassan's book will give my wife and I some ideas to use. So using his book,and like Mouthy said " keep it simple "- it may just work in re-establishing more contact. Yes- I could do without the shunning though.

    MINIMUS- Thanks buddy. Yes- She is a sweet young lady. We will just try to love her the best we can and try to stay authentic without being too insulting of the cult- or going back to it at all. I couldn't stand going back - so I'll do what Mouthy said as well.

    NO MORE KOOL AID- Thanks. I'm sorry you didn't find your dad in time. I'm glad you got your kids out so you won't have to deal with this when they are older. I will try to follow Hassan's advice and Mouthy's as well. I wish you could talk to my daughter since you experienced something similar

  • sspo
    sspo

    Sorry to hear that Mr. Flipper.

    It never ends it seems, just be patient and continue to show love and patience with her because

    she cannot help it. We behaved the same when we were still in the brainwashed state.

    If it makes you feel any better, my oldest daughter who is a pioneer just stopped talking to me

    because i would not attend the memorial and "gave up on me".

    Anytime i said something about the organization our relationship got worse.

    One thing she knows for sure as her father, i'll always be there for her much more than those in the congregation.

  • flipper
    flipper

    SCARRED FOR LIFE- Thanks. I feel I will eventually get through to her as well. I just have to take it slow. Not be pushy. She did write a nice letter and I agree it would be good to re-read Steve Hassan's book again before we write to her. Good advice. Just be heartfelt.

    SSPO- You are right- just continue to show love and patience with her. We were ALL cult mind controlled at one point. I'm sorry your daughter shunned you as well my friend. I'm going to try not saying ANYTHING about the organization but she knows I'll be there for her always like your daughter knew about you. I just have to be careful here

  • Sad Michael
    Sad Michael

    You should swallow your pride, forgive those who have sinned against you, give up the painful feelings you cling to that caused you to leave Jehovah, and beg for his forgiveness and that you may return to his flock. I pray your daughter and any others who are faced with the choice of being loyal to Jehovah or anything or anyone will (continue to) choose Jehovah. It's not anything other than an expression of our love for you, and I hope you will undrstand it someday soon while there is still time.

    I have three sons who are faithful, one has been disfellowshipped for 2 years and is soon to be reinstated. I agreed with it then and I agree with it now. My wife agreed wth it then and does not agree with it now. What has changed? Jehovah didn't neither did I or my sons. even the one who was disfellowshipped understands why and agrees with it. She has jumped overboard and let go of the life preserver, the only thing is the one she thought she was going to rescue is already back on board. I hope you can find some way to be rescued too

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Ouch Sad Michael, not very good in the feeling department, are you?

    I have a feeling that your advice won't be well received...

    Josie

    P.S. None us ex's need to be rescued and returned to the bOrg

  • oompa
    oompa

    maybe you could send her a list of other faiths that shun similar to JW and ask if she sees any similarities???.........sorry flip.......oomps

    btw.......it actually hurt to read those letters.....i could hardly do it

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    This must be a common problem 'flip' as it's almost identical to mine. My daughter loves me dearly and is a sweet person but.................the Organization worship has got to her.

    Just remember 'Love' wins out though, so be patient and weigh each word to her with love and kindness.

    Outaservice

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    Boy this girl sounds well deeply indoctrinated, its humanly sad to see a cult like this control people social relationships

    with their personal family members, it almost appears criminal in intension.

    Sorry Flipper for this unfortunate dilemma.

    Selling and preaching the message of Christ was one thing, the proclamation that a select few of men that have

    placed themselves as the leaders or kings of this kingdom was where the corruption started to establish itself with

    this organization. Men with this kind of power usually turn into vial corrupt men and the people that are under their control

    usually suffer in many real ways. The only honest and real way to show that those men are not who they say they are is

    show clearly and decisively how they came into this power, step by step and let intelligence take its course.

    Take care Flipper

  • Johnny
    Johnny

    flipper,

    I saw my brother go through a very similar thing. He was not invited to his only two daughter's weddings, and has never seen any of his grandchildren.

    I thank God all the time that his spirit pulled us out before it got to that point, but we still did not come out unscathed.

    God's spirit rescued you and it can rescue your daughter too; don't forget it.

    Pray!! Because reason alone may not be able to penetrate the darkness that surrounds her!

    "The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." - John 1:5

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