What do YOU want ??
Do you still want to become a Jehovah's witness ?
If yes ,then be prepared to be humiliated before a group of older men . They WILL ask embarrassing questions and will look for you to cry and weep into guilt ridden remorse . They want to know if you are truly repentant of your actions . The guilt you feel now is nothing to what they will put you through (the rest of your life ). If you have a descent group of elders it may go a little easier and they will encourage you to study an pray ect.ect. It really depends on the area you live and what kind of Elders are in your hall .
However know this ....from someone who has been there done that, and raised three sons that also have survived youth : You are young and inexperienced in life . You will ,and did, make some unwise decisions ....learn from them and go on to do better next time . A measure of guilt is a good thing if it keeps us from making foolish choices ,HOWEVER the guilt heaped upon young ones in the organization is overboard and destructive in my opinion . Youth is a time for pushing the boundries and discovering what your personal values are ,it is a time of self awareness .
Please don't allow them to smother you and destroy your inner self .
There is much to be said about having good morals and a high standard of values ,but this is obtained as an individual learns and grows and should not be forced down their throat by others .
So grow up some right now and make some big decisions for yourself : where do you want to go from here ,stand up on your own two feet and don't lean on these people to make life choices for you .
