Depression is a way of life for JW's (page 4)

butalbee

I know what I'm doing IS right. Truth, my heart has led me unto this path, but my mind is what's gonna get me to the end of this road, and unto a new direction. It takes strength, but I know I'll make it.
Oh, by the way, I went to catholic mass this morning, hadn't done that in eons...I know all religions are MAN made, but in my opinion catholics have a real history...

xjw

Depression exists everywhere. Of course, the potential for becoming depressed can be aggravated by circumstances such as the feeling that you have no control over your own life's direction. Membership with the JW's can most certainly have that effect on your psyche. There is a phenomenon called learned helplessness -- when you have pain that you can't prevent or control for an extended period of time, you learn to just take it and this pain becomes your "norm". You stop trying to do anything about it. This is something that you also see in abuse survivors. I believe belonging to the JW religion is a way of accepting emotional/mental abuse in your life as normal, because you probably don't think you deserve any better. If you are already depressed this can just further the vicious cycle and make you even more depressed and no longer motivated to try to get out of that situation. So my advice to ANYONE who is in this religion is: start making moves to pry yourself out of its clutches AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. It just a lot like trying to leave an abusive spouse. But with help from caring people, it is possible. I did it. Unfortunately though, since I was raised JW, I still suffer from severe bouts of helplessness, isolation, and worthlessness from time to time, but I am on a long journey to a better place. :-)

Gopher

xjw,

You wrote a very thought-provoking post. I had never heard of "learned helplessness" before, but I have seen it and been a victim of it!

You also said,

I believe belonging to the JW religion is a way of accepting emotional/mental abuse in your life as normal, because you probably don't think you deserve any better.

I have two "takes" on this. First of all, it seems that quite a few JW's honestly believe that their way is the "best way of living", and they look down on outsiders and do not suffer from depression much or at all.

Second, of those who are struggling, feeling like something is missing, and that being a JW is NOT "the best way of living", it seems a lot of their frustration is over broken expectations about the present and promises about the future. For the present, they're told that they're part of a "loving worldwide brotherhood", and that they'll be spiritually well-cared-for. These expectations, of course, are largely fantasy. And for the future, they keep hoping for a never-coming "end of the system", and are constantly disappointed or "on edge" because it never comes. It is like the Bible proverb "expectation postponed is making the heart sick".

Just my $.02.

GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

JT

RHW says

JWs are taught that any efforts toward personal betterment and accomplishment are futile and take away "glory from God". They are kept in a constant state of agitation...meetings, service, study....and any recreational activities that do not in some way involve some JW component are looked upon as time wasters. How can you consider doing such-and-such when the "End" is so close?
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BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!

The wt doesn't allow ANY DOWN TIME for the avg jw- there is always something that they need to be doing that is WT related

take for example the reading of thier mags- they come out so fast they rarely have time to keep up

in a typical congo of 120 pub i dare say that 95% are actually up to date on thier reading of the lastest mag-

but the kicker is they are told that by no being caught up THEY DON'T APPRECIATE THE FOOD FROM JAH AND SPIRITUAL THINGS

If you do a search of the words WORTHLESS, UNWORTHY, UNDESERVING, AND OTHERS you will find that the jw is constantly made to feel that he or she has not jumped high enough, ran long enough. put forth enough effort-

the DO MORE DO MORE OR DIE mindset is constant- the fear of getting caught violating wt rules is always in the back of the head of a jw-

case in point the lurkers and even the jw poster are all in fear of what will be done to them if they get caught here-

"How do i explain why i have been hanging out in a Spiritual Porno shop" smile

james

JT

this is why i Love this NET "THANG"

ANDREE SAYS:

What stands out to me is the glaring difference in how these two situations were handled. Cousin #1, the JW was left to flounder for years. There was the stigma her family wanted to avoid that possibly one of the "happiest people on earth" wasn't so happy. Wait on Jehovah to fix it. Where as Cousin #2 got help almost immediately. As a result, her outlook is bright
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knocked it out of the park- in fact when was growing up the view among jw was that the person was demonized- i recall CO, Bethel speakers and local elders stating that the problem was a Spirituallity problem-

then to add insult to injury look at the men in charge- some guy with no training in human behavoir, or mental issues

just some bro who went out in service alot and go appointed to be an elder

as The spokemans of the wt put it best- :Elders are UNTRAINED VOLUNTEERS-

can you see United Airline allowing UNTRAINED- VOLUNTEERS TO FLY THIER PLANES

yet that is wha the wt society admits to in terms of who they have flying thier planes in the local congo

so sad

JT

Butalbee says:

I would be harassed to convert for the rest of my life with him
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you are 110% correct- you state:. "I hope what I am doing is right."
put it to the test

each week he had a jw come to your house to show you all the errors of the catholic church and you were willing to listen- it is called a BIBLE STUDY-

now test him- Ask him will he Read something that shows him the errors of the wt- even though they call it the truth

ask him if he will read Ray Franz book or just a few printouts you can get from WWW.FREEMIND.ORG

test the water and see who he is more loyal to the Org or you

you should understand by now the avg jw views being loyal to the org as the same as being loyal to god

so don't hold your breathe

lv4fer

You know I always wondered if anyone else noticed this. I remember about 3 years ago when, I was talking to one of the sisters and we were listing all of the people who were on antidepressants and or anti-anxiety medications. Then it was like the next sunday meeting The opening song for the meeting was "Be Joyful" I just started cracking up. I actually had to get up and go in the bathroom because I could not stop laughing. I told my husband later because my kids and him wanted to know why I was laughing so hard. We all had a good laugh.

I do think the incidence is higher with people in the truth. And it is because there are so many extra demands on you and you never feel like you can do enough.

I am still a witness but I don't know for how long.

Erich

lv4fer:

Please remain as a witness for Jehovah and keep on laughing! There are so few people in the congs laughing... We need you so badly !!
besides, recall: psalm 2:4

butalbee

I really hate the expression--"be in the truth". What is true? What is false? Anyone who has only known the JW way of life is limiting their choices in really knowing the truth...When I was studying, I often asked the wicked sister in law, why I couldn't use my own bible, why I had to only study from a certain one, and why they'd play leap frog through verses.

Erich--please don't pressure anyone to remain a witness, I think lv4fer should do really take a long hard look, what I found out is JWish is all about control and guilt trips, and that is not living.

Maybe then more witnesses would see that this all mighty truth is just a lie. Hey, the truth shall set you free, and freedom is not being a witnesses.

thewiz

one of the reasons why I think that the JDubs may the truth is that they are a stupid lot. -1 Co. 1:18-25. I am not being facetious. I'm serious when I say this.

You know, get all the foolish things together, that just don't make any sense and then, turn the world upside-down with it.

I'm not saying that being stupid is bad. Sometimes I wish I were (to some I am stupid), then I wouldn't be eaten up by all this stress and pressure to win, win, win. My main body of reading material is techinical manuals and reference works. I read 'em like most people read novels. I have so many books (both print and online), that it would put small town libraries to shame. I love books.

First thing I notice, usually, is the library a person has. Of course many JDubs libraries consist of nothing but WTBS material, and little else. I have also noticed "worldly" peoples libraries and they consist of even less.

I don't know if any here have noticed it, but I can count on one hand how many Jdubs I have ever seen in a public library. Too busy confining themselves to only one kind of knowledge source.

Depression is a way of life for JW's

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